A Stranger In A Coffee Shop
by Guarding My Castle
Summary: Detective Beckett meets a stranger in the coffee shop. He helps guide her through the next period in her life
1. Chapter 1

**This is hopefully going to be a different stoty even for me.  
>I know where I a am going. I just don't know how to get there<strong>

**YET!**

**We start in the beginning or more accurately the day before they meet. Time line is before S1 Ep1  
>All the players belong to ABCDisney/Marlow/Milmar and not me  
><strong>

**I do this for fun and not profit**  
><strong>Because if I did this for money, I would starve to death<strong>

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><p><em><strong>A Stranger in a coffee Shop<strong>_

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><p>A stressful Monday morning begins for Detective Becket. She does not know it is stressful but it will be<p>

Katherine Houghton Beckett has started this morning like she always does by stopping for a morning jolt of coffee at Jan's Java Joynt on the corner just a half block from the precinct.

She opens the door today to find herself at the back of a long line of customers. Much longer than usual today. It appears that they are running way far behind in filling their customer's orders. After several minutes she finds herself almost at the front of the line, ready to give her order.

When she glances toward the counter looking for the usual staff of four there are only two today, one taking the orders and one making the brews. But no matter how fast they are in filling the customer requests, the line seems to just grow longer by the minute

"Good morning Kate" Val, the manager says as the young detective finally reaches the counter to place her order

"Hey Val! Where is everybody?" Beckett asks as she looks across the space toward the brewer

"Tony is out with the flu and Andy, the new guy, missed his train and will be here in about 15 minutes"

"That explains the long line of customers waiting"

"Yes it does" Val responds "So, Kate, the usual today?"

"You know me too well. I hate change. A Grande skim latte two pumps sugar free vanilla" Kate says as she hands over her pre paid Java Joynt card

"I am so sorry, Kate. It will be several minutes" Then she leans in close to Beckett's ear "This one's on me" the manager tells Kate

The manager pretends to charge the card then she passes it back to the young detective

Beckett smiles as she mouths the words 'Thank You' to the manager

Kate turns around and realizes the place is completely packed with people not just waiting in line to order but also waiting to pick up their orders. Glancing around the room looking for a place to stand or sit, out of the way of the crowd she takes a mental inventory of the customers, like her, waiting.

She notices a business man, in a suit, with his tablet open and a Bluetooth headset in his ear.

A well dressed woman also reading something on the front of her cell phone.

A woman in a nurse's uniform talking on her phone and waving her arms in an animated conversation with someone.

Finally, a group of three teenaged girls laughing while looking at some image on the middle girl's laptop computer.

It is after all that, that Kate notices one high top table with two stools beside it with only one occupied by a man alone. He does not have a Bluetooth device on his head. He has no tablet or computer open on the table top. He has no cell phone up to his ear. He is actually reading a real printed newspaper

Bring an observant police officer, she takes a mental inventory of this man. He is probably in his late sixties or even early seventies, tall over six foot, strong build, looks like he has probably kept himself physically fit possibly by walking, swimming or regular exercise. He has blue eyes and still has a full head of hair. His face is partially covered by a somewhat short salt and pepper beard. He is ruggedly handsome and could easily attract an equally attractive lady

He is alone however and appears to be sad somehow

She decides to ask if she can sit beside him while she waits for her order

"Excuse me sir. Is this seat taken?" Beckett asks as she is pulling the stool away from the table

The man actually does not verbally answer but signals with a slight hand motion they she may sit if she so desires

Kate rises herself up on the stool and finds she is at his eye level once she is seated. "Hi my name is Kate" she states as she offers her hand across the table top

The man looks up from the newspaper in front of him towards her pro offered hand then further up to her face.

As if not wanting to complete the meeting he finally speaks "My name is R...Um. My name is Roger"

"Hello Roger. Nice to meet you Roger. Do you come here a lot?" Kate asks

"Excuse me young lady. This is not a bar and I am not a pick up" the older man comments

"Roger, I am NOT trying to pick up you or anyone else for that matter! I was just making idle conversation while I am waiting for my coffee to be made"

The man looks across at the young woman then over at the ever growing line of patrons waiting for their morning jolt of caffeine.

"Sorry" he speaks quietly. Then returns his gaze at the daily paper in front of him and without looking up he from his newspaper continues "Just started coming last week"

"So. Do you live around here?" she asks

"Just moved two blocks from here"

She begins thinking about where he might live. If he is retired then he would be staying at a retirement community, but there is not one inside the two blocks he just mentioned. There were only apartments and lofts mostly occupied by young single professionals and small families

"You live alone?" trying to keep the conversation going

"Yeah" is his one word reply

She again tries to dig into the man "Are you retired?"

Again he never looks up "Sort of"

"You ARE retired?"

"Sort of" is his response again

She decides to try a different approach. "Are you working part time?"

"Sort of"

She knows that this is not going to go anywhere. But before she can continue her questioning she hears her name being called to pick up her order

"That's my order" Kate slides off the stool "Roger, it was nice to meet you and I hope to see you again"

Once more, the man does not seem interested in the conversation with his half hearted response "Yeah"

All the way to the station, Detective Beckett fills her thoughts about the stranger. She thinks about the man she just met. He seemed like a lonely person. Probably living alone. Not in a retirement community where he would be with possible peers or friends or even lady friends. He was different from all the other customers at the shop. Reading a newspaper, not talking on a cell phone or even seems to be interested in any of the electronic devices. He never once looked up at the television over the counter playing the daily news reports

Kate's mind is quickly drawn back to work.

When she arrived at her desk there it was, a large stack of reports needing her attention. Starting at the top, she slowly began to bring the monster pile of paper under control. By mid afternoon she could see the end of the monster of paper was in sight.

But as fate would have it her afternoon bliss is interrupted by the call from dispatch. A woman's body has been found covered in rose petals and with two sunflowers covering her eyes.

Detective Katherine Beckett gathers up her bag and tells her two partners, Javier Esposito and Kevin Ryan to 'grab your stuff' and the trio head out to the crime scene

Once there the three detectives are met by the medical examiner and Detective Beckett's best friend, Dr. Lanie Parish,

Detective Beckett walks around the victim and realizes that this crime scene is staged exactly like a story in a mystery novel she had read in the past. This makes two crime scenes that appear exactly like fictional tales. Both from the same author.

After making the connection, she chides her partners about not seeing the connection but neither of the two men seems to have the same fixation on the author or even the stories that Detective Beckett does.

She tells the others that she has an idea that she wants to follow up on and heads out into the New York night. She places a phone call to the police data search unit and has them do a search for the current location of the writer of the tales she suspects is the basis of her most recent killing. She believes that in locating this man might help solve her most recent cases.

Driving to the address she uses her shield to gain access to the part celebrating the most recent book release of the man in question.

Pulling her training and inner strength together she manages to not let the man's fame pull her strings and she confronts the possible suspect. After identifying herself and telling him that she needs to ask him a few questions she sees a look in his well known face. A look of stunned confusion

After the interview is over and she decides he had no part of these murders, she realizes he was flirting with her just like he did to all the others. All the debutant and Hollywood wantabe's. But he seemed to especially like playing his game with her

A new week begins for Detective Kate Beckett with another trip to the same coffee shop to get the same coffee and to walk the same sidewalk to the same police station to work on the same old cases.

Again today Beckett orders her usual coffee and notices the same older man sitting at the same high top table reading the newspaper. This time she decides to strike up another conversation with the man

"Good morning Roger" Beckett speaks as she sits down with her coffee

The man glances up without even raising his head "Huh"

"Remember me?

"Hard not to. You interrupted my reading last week and now you are back interrupting me again today"

"Sorry. I didn't know I was an interruption" She has decided that this is going to be a challenge

"Well it was" he responds again without looking up

"What is so important in that paper that speaking to a real person is a problem?"

Turning pages he answers "News, travel, people, weather" again without ever looking up

"Look at me" Kate says using her best detective voice

The man finally raises his head, Kate finally looks into his deep blue eyes and that is when it happens. For some reason Kate Beckett feels a connection inside. There is something familiar yet unknown in this man's face. She feels like they are friends and at the same time strangers. She stutters with her next words

"UH…You look like you could use a friend"

"I don't need a friend" He responds again while lowering his head back to the paper

"OH! I think you do…and I am going to be that friend" She firmly comments

Later in the day, after arriving at the station, Detective Beckett is summoned into the captain's office.

Once inside the boss tells her that her life has just been turned on its head.

The playboy writer will be in her way

Until further notisce!


	2. Chapter 2

Detective Katherine Beckett has arrived early at Jan's Java Joynt and once again orders her favorite morning beverage. After placing her order she looks to the back corner of the dining room and finds the man from the other day is not there.

"Say Val where it the man that was over at that high top the other day?" Beckett asks of the manager

"I think I know who you're talking about. An older gentleman? He only seems to come in once a week or so. Last week he was here on Monday. The week before it was Wednesday, I think. Why? Are you trying to set up a date with him or something?"

"Funny!" Kate responds with a slight chuckle in her voice "No I just thought he looked lonely and I wanted to try and make friends. What do you know about him?"

"Nothing really. I think I saw him for the first time maybe about a month ago" Val answers "He orders a large plain coffee and he drinks it black. He sits over there reading the paper or sometimes a magazine" as she points toward the high top table where Beckett first noticed the man

"Do you know anything about him? Where he works? Or do you happen to know where he lives?" Kate asks

"No he comes walking from across the street. I've never seen the building he comes from or even how far down the block he walks" The manager replies

"Val. Do me a favor. If you would keep an eye out for me I would appreciate it. I'd like to know more about this man if it all possible"

"You have something going with this guy? Val asked with a little touch of a laugh in her voice

"Don't be silly. I'm a cop. He seems somehow to be in need. That's all" Beckett responds

"Sure Kate, I will see what I can do for you"

"Thanks" Beckett responds as she takes her cup and walks away

* * *

><p>Kate Beckett has not quite figured out this new friend of hers. But he seems less interested in having a friend, or being some else's friend, or even having her as a friend just so he can have someone to talk to. But Beckett plans to change all that Beckett heads out the door and onto the station<p>

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><p>Later the same morning, Detective Beckett arrives at the 12th precinct carrying the coffee she just picked up the Java Joynt. She is caught a little off guard and for a moment stunned when she sees the unwanted mystery writer sitting in a chair beside her desk. That chair had not always been beside her desk. This was a chair that he had obviously located somewhere else in the building and brought it and placed it next to her work station.<p>

And as far ash she is concerned 'Just so he could annoy her'

"Good morning detective" Castle says in a sing song as she places her bag down on the desk.

"What are you doing here this morning" detective Beckett says with disgust in her voice

"I thought Captain Montgomery told you I would be joining you on your cases for a little while as I do some research for my next new book"

"Couldn't you just go down to the records room and pull some old case file and go over them? And leave me alone?"

"That is what I've been doing for over 10 years for my research. But this time I would like to actually feel what it's like to go in the field. Interview witnesses and then look at the evidence. You know help find clues and determine who is actually guilty of the crime"

"If you are really wanting to go out on cases I can give you any number of other detectives who would be more than happy to have you follow them around and get in their way, pestering them, and asking dumb questions"

"Detective I don't ask dumb questions

A smirk on her face it's the only answer Detective Kate Beckett uses to respond to his comments

She is honestly surprised that he sits in the terribly uncomfortable chair beside her work place for as long as he does. She feels his eyes watching her for the better part of the morning until finally, she experiences relief when the phone rings.

She answers "Beckett…OK…send me the address…" she spins toward the drawer bedside her desk, pulls the handle, grabs her bag and as she slides the drawer closed looks across to her two detective partners

"Let's go. We have one in an alley off in the Bowery"

The group moves toward the elevator with their newly assigned helper and Beckett punches the button for the basement

The team arrives at the murder scene to find a man in his forties, wearing a nice business suit and good shoes wrapped up on a nice but well worn rug. He obviously did not belong in this neighborhood

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><p>Monday morning finds Detective Beckett once again ordering her favorite drink form her favorite coffer emporium. Her mind is still on the case they just closed and open to thinking about what might be the next major event in her life.<p>

"Say Kate" Val the manager begins "Your boyfriend is here" As she points to the high top table where the older man is placed

"Funny Val. Did you learn anything about him?" Beckett asks as she is looking in the direction of the man

"No just Tommy, my evening Barista said he had noticed him over on Crown Street"

"Thanks" Beckett responds as she takes her cup and moves quickly to the table

"Good morning Roger" she says as she places her drink down, pulls the stool out and places herself on the seat

It is obvious that the man is not interested in her advances as he continues to flip pages of his magazine

"How are you today?"

Again he is unmoved

"I'm having a really rough week. I hope yours is better" Beckett continues in an attempt to get some type if conversation going

"Excuse me lady!" He finally speaks "but if you don't stop bothering me at my work, I will have to call the police"

Beckett laughs "Your Work? Really? This is your work?" Pointing a the table

"Young lady! I will have you know that this is my work and you are interrupting my work"

"Reading a paper is work?"

"Yes it is MY work. And I am dedicated to my work so if you don't want me to call the police and have you removed from by presence, then I suggest that you stop bothering me at my work"

His comment brings a moment of clarity to her as she thinks about a statement she made to the troublesome writer after she arrived at his book reading. Of course she was more than a bother at his work, book event. The major distraction in her presence was the expanse of her legs she placed on display toward him at just the right moment to cause a stutter in his delivery of the final sentence of the book

"Wait! You read papers as a work? And besides, I AM the police. I am Detective Kate Beckett, NYPD" she again reaches out in an attempt to shake his hand

Briefly the man pauses then lifts his head fully toward the young woman. "You are a police detective?"

Again when she is able to see his face fully she is met with a ruggedly handsome yet somehow pained man. His fierce blue eyes catch her and she struggles to answer his question

"UH…Yes…I am…I am a homicide detective with the 12th just around the corner"

This time the man responds to her offered hand and places his hand into hers "Nice to meet you detective. My Name is Roger. Roger Chandler"


	3. Chapter 3

Detective Beckett's day progresses much better than she thought. I would have been much better, however, had THAT MAN not been here.

Complaining about the coffee.

Sitting in a chair at the side of her desk, staring at her while she did reports.

He is freaking her out. A little

"You are just sitting there watching me do paperwork. It's creepy".

"I like it"

"Don't you have some book signing or meeting to go to?"

"NO?"

"It's still creepy" she finally comments as she again turns her attention back to her tasks at her desk

For now she is just trying to get by the days until he publishes his new novel and finally leaves her alone. She keeps watching the calendar wanting that day to come. SOON!

Ignoring the irritating man beside her desk, she is looking at the computer screen trying to select the next file she needs to address, her mind wanders to the gentleman in the coffee shop. She is wondering about his story. So far she has only been able to get him to introduce himself. Something is inside this guy that she wants to know and if she has enough time, she will get that story

The phone rings and she is quickly drawn away from the obnoxious writer, and her boring reports, and brings her back out in the dark dangerous streets doing what she likes the most.

Doing her job.

The call takes them to a less than elegant part of town where they discover the victim has been killed in a ritualistic style.

As the team surveys the area, Castle comments "Look in the victim's mouth. You will find a pouch"

The team are surprised to discover that Castle is correct in his assumption that there is a clue located lodged in the man's teeth. Castle tells the group that he once researched the religion of theses particular immigrants and was somewhat versed in the customs surrounding this type murder.

Later Castle has convinced Detective Beckett to join him at his loft to share in the research with her. Instead of producing volumes of evidence Rick begins reading from one of his book. This irritated Beckett more than just the inconvenience of being in his presence

"Castle! I can read your books for myself. I don't need you quoting from them"

"Detective, I will have you know that I spent many hours looking into this religion and its practices for the sake of accuracy"

As Beckett grabs her coat and heads toward the loft door, there is a knock. When she opens the door, she is faced with a well dressed woman carrying a bag that must be dinner because the aroma is heavenly. Beckett decides that she might just delay her exit and see what edible treasures await her this evening

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><p>Monday morning finds Kate Beckett at the coffee counter placing her request to the clerk for another morning and week starting container full of deep dark aromatic beverage. The aroma surrounding Detective Beckett matches her mood today. Fresh and invigorating<p>

She takes her cup from the counter and travels to the condiment bar and adds two pumps of sugar free vanilla to her skim latte. After completing the additions to her drink, she glances over at the high top table in the corner where she sees her newly found friend in his usual place

"Good morning Roger" Kate says as she pulls out the stool and sitting her drink down

In difference to the responses given in the past, the older patron looks up and speaks "Good morning Kate. Nice to see you today. How was your weekend?"

"Interesting to say the least" she responds "We started with had a murder connected to smuggling of passports into the country"

"Really?'

"They were putting them into knock-off ladies handbags. It seems one of the bags was accidentally sold to an innocent woman. The killer went around murdering the women who had bought the bags until he found the one he was looking for.

"How did you figure out the bags were the connection?" Roger asks

"That's the funny part. My shadow's ex wife came in the station and commented about the fake"

"So his ex wife comes in often?"

"OH no. She was in town to have sex with him and was bringing their daughter to drop her off"

Roger looks at Kate wit a face full of question"She came into town and dropped the daughter off and then have sex with him? He must be really good".

Kate realizes that how she described the event did not exactly fit the entire story

"No he calls her a fried Twinkie and when she comes into town he…"

Roger interrupts her statement "That's Ok! I think I understand where this is going. So the forged bags lead you to the killer?"

"YES! We found hag with the passport and we were leaving when the suspect showed up. My partner shoved me on the floor just before that man shot at me"

"So, he saved your life?"

Beckett had not considered this before but that is exactly what happened. Castle pushed her down just milliseconds before the gun went off therefore saving her life

She decides to change the subject and brings up the next murder. This will take her mind and this conversation off the mystery writer

"Then we finished Friday at a fancy fund raising gala at the Astoria

"We got a more dastardly murder" Kate begins

"How do you go from a dastardly murder to a full dress ball?"

"We got a murder that involved high end jewelry stolen from high class neighborhoods

"This is where we found a woman has been found stuffed in a wall safe. Her ring finger is cut off and other jewelry is missing from the home"

"That is gruesome. She was inside the safe?"

"Yes. He folded her up like bath towel and put her inside"

"Bit if this suspect had not killed his latest victim, we might still have a bunch of unsolved high end jewelry robberies. Doing this brought us into the cases"

"So a killer helped you solve a robbery? That sounds like a great story line for a novel"

"Well, Roger, it probably will end up in a novel" she states

"How do you figure that?" he asks

"I think I told you that I have had a civilian writer tagging along on my cases for a while and he uses these real stories for his books"

"Oh really? You have a novelist following you at work?" Roger wonders

"Yes! Unfortunately I do. But I am hoping that after he finishes this book that he is in the process of writing he will return to the swamp and crawl back under the rock he came out of when he entered the precinct"

"Oh, so he is a bad guy? Wait! You just said he saved you life"

"That's not the point! He's not really a BAD, Bad guy, just a…" she pauses while trying to come up with an answer for the question

"A pain in the neck? He comments

"Something like that" Beckett responds

"Sort of like you were that first time you came in here?"

Kate smiles and a slight chuckle comes from her mouth. She never once considered that her attempt at conversation was a bad thing. Her intentions were good. Just seeing someone who looked lonely and might need a friend

"Hey at least I don't go around bringing weirdness into your life. Do I?"

"I suppose not. But what weirdness did this guy give you?"

"In that one case involving Voodoo and Black Magic he had this woman bring dinner to his apartment and I have to say it was weird"

"Weird food? Huh. What was it?" Roger asks obviously intrigued by her comment

"It was a kind of soup. If he hadn't told me the name, I probably would have been ok because when he described it to me he called it beef but then she said it was called Cow's Foot Soup and I almost gagged"

"Cow's Foot Soup?" Ha asks quite light heartedly followed with a laugh

"Yeah! Isn't that disgusting?"

"No! Not really. I find Cow's Foot Soup very tasty. And you do realize cow is beef therefore Cow's Foot is beef and when done right it is so very delicious"

Kate is stunned by the reply from her companion at the table "What do you know about Cow's Foot Soup?"

"I have had it before. In fact many times and at several places around the world"

"How? What? When have you had this and where? And Why?" Beckett asks with shock in her voice

"Ms. Beckett I never told you but I have traveled a lot over the years. A LOT!"

"So you have been around the world before?'

"OH yes. Many, many times

Beckett has decided it is time she begin to unwind the mystery of her newly found friend when her plan is interrupted by her cell phone. She has a look on her face obviously not happy that her train of thought is being interrupted

"Beckett" she responds into the phone "OK I am on my way" She clicks the phone off with a brush of a finger. She then looks back up to her friend "I want to know everything about this but I have to go to work now"

Roger simply smiles then acknowledges her comment with a nod of the head "Tomorrow then Kate"

She smiles

"Tomorrow"


	4. Chapter 4

**Just to clear the air. This story is for the most part AU I use legend and story lines to give me something to jump off from. I will not follow the episodes in order**

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><p>Even being a senior detective does not keep Detective Beckett from, on occasion, relegated to working the weekend shifts. This Sunday is no different. She was called in directly by her boss, Captain Montgomery and asked to be at this particular crime scene. She did not know until after she arrived what type of a crime scene and the environment surrounding it<p>

A kidnapping

As she pulls up in her cruiser she spots her obnoxious, ever present follower walking up holding a coffee carrier and a bag. She actually becomes slightly excited at the contents of the bag as he offers her a cup of coffee and a tasty pastry

"Grande Skim Latte with two pumps of sugar free vanilla" The write begins the conversation

"How did you know?" She honestly wonders. She has never described her preferences

"I'm a writer. It's my job to notice things"

She is sure most of what sne notices has to do less with her preferences and more to do with her personal vital statistics

"Sunday morning, shouldn't you be slinking home of a scandalous liaison?" She comments just before bringing the tasty treat into her mouth

"Would you be jealous?"

"In your dreams" she quickly responds

"In my dreams you're never jealous, you just join in …muff…ug…"

And a quickly as possible she stops his comments by stuffing his mouth with the Bear Claw

She quickly begins her walk away from the man and into the crime scene so she can make some attempt at her job

Little does she know that this crime marks the beginning of what will soon be a very uncomfortable period of time for the civilian writer

* * *

><p>Monday morning Detective Beckett has parked her cruise at the station and has walked the short distance from the station where she has found her morning refreshment in the form of caffeine and conversation. She takes her cup and has again placed herself down beside her newly found companion.<p>

Hello Kate" Roger states as she settles herself into place

"Hey Roger. I missed seeing you last week"

"Well I was at work and couldn't be here. Sorry" Roger responds

"Work? Really? You actually still work?" Kate has not yet been able to pull sufficient information from her morning visitor. He has been able to stay just outside her area of snooping.

"Yes I work! But what I do is less work and…let me just say I call it fun"

"OK then what is so fun about your job?"

"I get to travel. All around the world"

"Alright. That does sound like fun. What places have you been?"

"You name it I have been there"

Just as Beckett is planning on pulling more information from her newfound friend, her phone rings.

Looking up to Roger "I'm Sorry! It's work"

He acknowledges with a brief nod of the head

"Beckett" she listens for a minute "OK I will be there in about thirty minutes" and she disconnects her phone

"What was that about" Roger begins the questions blocking Kate's attempt at his history

"That was Dr. Parish at the morgue. She has some information on my latest victim." Then Beckett chuckles

"Victim? And it's funny?"

"OH no! Just the victim was…well…" She is having a problem describing the events leading up to the current status on the man in the morgue

"His body was taken from the coroners van on the way to the morgue then we found his body later in an ally. It had been mutilated"

"Mutilated? What happened?"

"I would rather not give you a description of this. It was quite gruesome" Kate is not sure herself f she wants to verbalize the scene

"Kate I have seen corpses before so believe me you will not gross me out. I can take it"

"It appears that his organs were cut out. It was…"

"OK I get it. So you are heading to the morgue to see your Medical Examiner and get some clues as to who is doing this?"

"That's the plan Roger. I really hate to leave but crimes never stop"

"Tomorrow Kate"

Katherine Beckett just smiles as she walks out of the coffee shop and on her way to gather more information in her quest to find a murderer

On her walk back to pick up her cruiser she realizes that she was only moments from betting the scoop on this man's history and the stupid phone had to ring. She has so far not pulled strings at the station and try to get into his personal life and she decides that her job is more important that snooping into his life.

At least for the moment.

* * *

><p>By the time Friday rolls around and the drug mule case has been solved, Kate Beckett is ready to slow down a little. She decides to stop on her way home at Jan's Java Joynt and grab a bag of this special brew that Val had concocted. Kate found it especially delicious for her Saturday morning break.<p>

Kate plans on heading home, taking herself a long slow bath, have a nice glass of red and re read one of Castle's novels. She is torn between several of his books especially since meeting the man. She has become aware that much of what she thought about the writer is actually not the real life he leads.

The night she and the writer went undercover at the charity gala and he had bought her that very expensive and lovely dress, how his daughter complimented her on her appearance and finally as his mother offered expensive jewelry to top off the attire, she has had to reevaluate this man.

But no matter what happens now, she is confident she will never fall under his spell. She knows that spell is wicked and not what she wants for her life.

The bell over the door announces Kate's entry into the coffee bistro. Friday nights are usually very quiet as most New Yorkers are heading out on the town, paired up for a romantic dinner at a fine restraint or crowded together at the theater.

Kate walks to the counter to see Val alone serving the register and acting as the only Barista present. "Hi Kate"

"Hey Val. What are you doing here? Alone?"

"Can't get good help you know. If you want something done, you have to do it yourself"

"So true" Kate answers

"The usual tonight?" The manager asks

"No, I came to pick up a pound of that special Colombian bean you put together. That is some wonderful product for a lazy Saturday morning"

Val reaches behind her on the shelf and passes the package to Beckett. Kate pays for her purchase but as she turns to leave she sees Roger is sitting alone at his usual table

"Hi Roger" Kate says as she moves beside the high top

The man raises his head from the magazine in front of him and a small smile appears. Kate feel like she has probably broken down whatever wall this man had up around him

"Hello Ms Beckett" he responds

"OH Roger, why so formal today?"

"Not so much formal. Just respectful" he answers "What may I ask are you doing in a coffee shop so late in the day?"

Kate holds up her purchase for him to see "getting something for tomorrow morning"

"Excellent choice I must say. That particular blend is some of the best I have ever tasted. So ending another stressful week?"

Kate answers simply "Yes"

"Catch any bad guys, I mean besides your 'bad guy' tag along?"

"Funny Roger. Actually we did close that mutilation case I told you about"

"What happened?"

"The man got behind in paying a loan shark and hired himself out as a drug mule. He got killed by the loan shark for not paying them back while he was on his way to turn over the drugs to get the money to pay the loan shark"

"Wow what a mess. Was the loan shark and the drug dealer connected to one another?"

"No that's the crazy part. The drug dealer took the body to get his drugs back. They are the one 's who cut him open but they didn't kill him"

"How did you catch the killer? The loan shark?"

"Well they were operating illegal poker games around the city. The Chinese Triads were running roving games at different places each week. They victim got involved with a Russian mobster, poker player, loan shark"

"So did you raid the game loaded up with assault rifles, SWAT teams? Guns blazing? Tell me all about it" Roger seems almost giddy

"No that would not have worked. We…well rather the writer found out where the games were being played. It was in a seedy part of China town. He was able to get in and located the suspect at one of the tables"

"So he took notes and brought you the information?"

Kate pauses before answering

"No he actually joined the game. Threw a wad of cash on the table and almost invited the others to take him down. Fortunately we had a bug on him and I overheard them threaten to take his money from him so I went in and got him out. He was in grave danger in doing what he did. He was so arrogant and stupid"

Roger seems to consider what she just told him

"Kate, it appears to me that this man risked his own life to help you solve this case. Have you considered that he is doing this to impress you?"

She stops and looks at her feet

"Kate I think he likes you"


	5. Chapter 5

Another week of work finally finishes and this time without the novelist in tow. He had some type of a meeting with the publisher that took him away, thankfully, for the better part of the last seven days.

But her time of peace and quiet is destroyed when she looks up to find him once again walking toward her desk.

"Since you finished the book, I figured you were gone for good" Kate starts up

"OH detective, you hurt me to the quick. I thought that at least you were starting to appreciate my gifts"

"What gifts would that be?" she questions

"My help in solving your crimes. Locating the devious clues the criminals have so cleverly hidden from view"

"Are you serious? You honestly think that we could not have solved these cases without your help?"

But before Castle has a chance to respond, his thoughts are interrupted by the captain "Hey, Castle! Thanks so much for your help in that double murder case last week"

"Not a problem captain. I am glad I could help" Castle responds with a slight gleam in his eye that does not go unnoticed by Detective Beckett

After the captain moves a safe distance away Beckett looks back over the corner of her desk at the writer "don't gloat. It's not attractive"

"Detective. I am hurt that you think that I would gloat over a murder"

"Don't you have some place to be? Book store? Signing? TV interview? Meeting at your publisher?"

"I like it here" he responds but there is something in his voice that tells the detective that something else is happening

"Wait! You're hiding! You are supposed to be somewhere else and you're hiding!" Kate says with sure determination in her voice

"UH…NO?" he answers with a guilty grin on his face

His interrogation is halted by the phone on the detective's desk ringing to announce a new crime has been committed

It only takes moments at the crime scene for the playboy to point out the victim was a model and the dress she was wearing belonged on a runway and not on a dead body in a fountain near the street. The team quickly moved the investigation inside where Beckett watched the writer use his charms on several of the women as they seemed to flock around him.

This served to only reinforce her desire to stay as far away as possible from this man's personal life

* * *

><p>"Hey Roger" Kate starts up as she sites down beside the coffee shop friend<p>

Looking up from his morning newspaper, he gives Kate a gentle smile. "Good morning yourself" he responds "You are early today"

"Yeah I got up early today. Thought I would have my morning coffee with a good friend and conservationist"

Roger gives a small slight smile in response "So what weird crimes have you solved this week?"

"Nothing too unusual, a murder at a fashion event. A model was murdered by her husband because he thought she was cheating on him. IT turned out she was trying to get away from the man who was trying to have the affair. Her husband thought her leaving the man's apartment was her walk of shame when it was really her escaping his advances"

Kate notices Roger's face fall while she is describing the story

"It is sad that that sometime lovers do not communicate their feelings and plans and it ends up blowing up in their face" Beckett continues

Roger's only response is "So true"

Thinking she might need to lighten up the conversation "Well anyway I did get a good laugh off the novelist"

"How's that?" Roger is glad she moved the discussion away from the other subject

"I watched him putting the moves on this gorgeous young a model and flirt and set up a date only for him to discover he knew her and this girl was his daughter's former babysitter. He knew her from when she was a mid teen. It just caught him totally off knowing he was chasing a barely legal female. It was so funny"

Kate stops while describing the events. Her mind is trying to sort out what she just said about the man. He showed true concern and not lust over this young woman

* * *

><p>During the investigation of the fake Arctic Explorer Castle seems truly impressed at the level of detail the man had created. The letters between him and the children. The detail he brought to the children's experience was totally unlike any normal con perpetrated on the innocent. Beckett was positive this was only a con but Castle seemed to think there was more<p>

"Why did he respond to the children's letters? Why did he continue the story on line when he could have just taken the money and disappear?" He asked to no one in particular.

But for Detective Beckett a small event near the close of the case brought her to a place she had never been.

Face to face with a MAN who thought like her and brought her theory building to a new level it had never been. They bounced ideas off one another and brought another criminal to justice

Sitting at home contemplating the events of the mind connection between her and the writer, Kate struggles as to what this really means.

He is not anything to her except the irritating novelist who just so happens to help her with cases. PERIOD!

* * *

><p>Coffee and a pastry. That is Kate's morning desire. She is still trying to recover from a long night at a book release party. Never in the past was she invited to be at an event such as this. Her last attendance was as a non invited guest. A police officer seeking a statement from the author in question. Especially she has never been to a party where the book in question was dedicated to her. That one line he placed at the beginning of his tale is eating at her heart. Deeply eating at her heart!<p>

Kate is struggling at the ramifications of all this. Not only has she been taking jabs from her fellow officers and detectives but now the rest of the world knows who she is. So this morning, in a mode of self preservation, she is seeking the solitude of the warm space at the Java Joynt and maybe quiet conversation with her friend

After she takes her drink and, today, a muffin, she moves to the table where she finds Roger in his ever constant position of reading a printed media

"Good morning Roger"

Good morning Nikki Heat" He responds

That comment causes Kate to look up at him with a definite glare in her eyes "What was that for?" she questions

Roger smiles as he opens the Ledger to the 'Events Around The City' page. He then lifts the paper up to eye level and turns it toward Kate. This is the first time she has seen the full color photograph of her wearing a very form fitting and figure enhancing blue cocktail dress

"Wow Kate! You set the city of New York on its ear last night with your arrival at the Nikki Heat book release"

"Well I am NOT Nikki Heat"

Roger looks at the photograph again "Based on this picture. And that dress, you look like her to me"

"Funny Roger. I was just dressed up for the party"

"You telling me that you we not dressed up that way for HIM?"

"NO!"

Roger smiles a little as he looks back at the paper "It says here that he dedicated his book to you"

"Not just me. He included everyone one else at the station"

"It says Extraordinary KB and all my friends at the 12th. That sounds like you were singled out in that dedication"

Kate looks down at the paper then back up at her friend "I think that he is trying too hard is what I am thinking"

"Don't say that Kate. You are doing plenty yourself"

"What do you mean?"

Roger holds the paper up again "Are you telling me you dress like this for your co corkers? Kate if you weren't dressed like this for him then why did you put yourself out there like this?"

Beckett realizes that Roger is totally right in his assessment of her actions. She DID in fact select a very short, very sexy dress to wear that night.

Luckily for Kate, Roger changes the subject allowing her an escape from further interrogation

"So I never asked about the author but it says that he is a mystery writer. I never was a big fan of mystery novels"

Thanking him silently, Kate asks "So, Roger if you don't like mysteries what is you preference? Westerns? Romance?"

"No actually I am totally into Spy stories. Espionage, Cold War secrets. That type of thing. I am completely into the James Bond and Jack Ryan books. I have read and re read all the great ones. I appreciate the original Matt Helm stories before Hollywood cannibalized the books"

His comment about spy books gives her heart a little jolt. She has been avoiding thinking about the fact that Castle is leaving her now to become a ghost writer to continue the Ian Fleming series. Last night she and Castle had a bit of a rift over this very subject. She realizes today that they both brought about this split and she is not sure how she really feels about loosing him as her friend and partner

"In fact I had the pleasure of bidding on and winning an original Ian Fleming autographed copy of Casino Royal. I still have it"


	6. Chapter 6

Detective Beckett has moved to the precinct to get her work done. All the attendants from last night are running a little bit late. As she sits down at her desk her mind drifts to Roger's comments about Castle and what it means. She is determined that she is Not going down that road but stay her path and avoid getting into something deeper with the writer that she knows will only end up with her hurt and him moving on to his next woman.

As she moves toward her desk she sees him there like he always is looking around like he has a real reason to be there other than to irritate her

""What are you doing here, Castle?"

"I am looking for my sunglasses" re replies as if that is the real reason for his presence

"That is the lamest excuse I ever…" she begins her rant just as he lifts his eye protection from her desk. This event only seems to irritate her even more "Then don't forget those" she points to the nesting dolls on another desk

As he turns to retrieve the items Detective Karpowski is on the phone with a call from the SRO the victim was living in wanting to know about renting her room.

The time line makes Castle realize the rent payment was made AFTER the victim's death. She was killed on Thursday and the payment was made on Friday. Someone else dropped the money into the night deposit slot

This revelation brings Kate and Castle back into her cruiser and sitting in front of the building waiting for the suspect to come and pick up the mail

"Thanks Castle, We would have never thought about going through her mail and only after we had probable cause and a search warrant"

"I may be leaving but I am leaving a part of myself behind" he almost off the cuff comments. But Kate Beckett is suddenly hit by the fact that this man, This nuisance. This trouble maker if leaving.

For Good

But she is not completely sure she wants that.

Her detective side is thinking that 'He Really Has Been Help on my cases'

Her serious side is glad the 'Playboy joker is finally going to be gone.

The personal side of her is going to miss him. Really? Is she actually considering that him leaving is bad? His comment of leaving part of himself behind hurts. That part he is leaving behind is the part she has grown to like. A LOT

That friendship factor is real. There is a part of him that she has realized is real, just not enough real to want him to stay. Or does she?

Her thought process is broken by the appearance of the doctor's wife heading toward the mail boxes.

But they soon discover it is not the wife but the head nurse, sent to pick up the victim's mail under the pretext that the doctor and the victim were in an affair.

Once again, his off beat thinking has brought them to the real criminal. The doctor, husband who has switched the victim's baby at the nursery because his own child had a fatal disease.

As they are leaving the apartment after reuniting a child with his real father, Beckett attempts to lighten the departure with her thanks and her desire for the writer to do well in his next endeavor.

Her heart is torn between him no longer being under foot and a feeling she has deep inside that maybe, just maybe, he could be more for her. But she truly knows that she is a tiny distraction in his life and she has no special meaning to him. It will be best if they separate before things get any more complicated

"Well, Good Luck" she almost has to choke the words out. "I now you'll do it proud"

"Thanks" he responds and with the look on his face, she is thinking he is also having problems calling the partnership finished

When he reaches out to shake her hand she thinks she sees pain in his face. But since he is nothing but an excellent, well experienced player, she knows she is mistaken. Any expression he is showing is not truly for her.

She looks at his hand and is drawn to take the offer from him. But, she was NOT ready for what happens next.

She feels a jolt of electricity pass from his hand, thru her fingers, and up her arm all the way to her heart. This is not what is supposed to happen between them.

Her heart is racing. Her eyes are glazing over. Her skin is tingling. She is wanting to say something, do something and she is positive that a similar event is planned by him based on the look on his face.

Her body's sensory overload is broken with the sound of the ringing of both his and her cell phones.

* * *

><p>Another early sunrise brings Kate Beckett to her morning drink stop. After taking her cup from Val she steps up to the table she always shares with her recently discovered friend<p>

"Hey Roger" she scoots the stool away form the table making a loud squeak to travel all the way across the room

"Hello Kate" Roger replies as he closes his paper. Their morning conversations have gone from his obvious dislike of her interruptions to him actually seeming to enjoy her visits

"Hello Kate. You seem especially happy today"

"We took more criminals of the street. That always makes me happy"

"So tell me all about it"

"This latest case involved a rock star who was killed by her producer. He was sexually abusing her and she was going to blow the whistle on him. So he killed her and staged the murder like one of her music videos"

"How did you figure it out?"

"Castle came up with the answer…" Kate pauses as she realizes that one again Castle helped her in the closing of a murder. He got nothing out of doing this and she garnered all the credit with headquarters. "His daughter is or rather was a big fan and she was listening to one of her last songs and the words struck Castle that there was something wrong"

"Kate, he does seem to be helpful in a lot of your cases, doesn't he?"

"UH…yeah he does" Beckett stops for a moment

"So his daughter was hurt by the string of events? How did he handle the story? What did he tell her about her idol's murder?"

Kate pauses in thought Then considers the words that she is about to speak "He said what he always tells her…the truth"

He always tells Beckett the truth, just like he tells his little girl. He definitely helps with cases. And he passes on writing a spy novel to remain with Beckett.

What does he want from me?" Kate wonders to herself

"So Roger. Anything interesting in this morning 's paper?" She asks, trying to deflect her current mental musings

"Actually the paper is very boring so I am going to be changing all that very soon, however"

"How's that?" Kate asks as she sips her coffee

"I am leaving for a few weeks"

"OH Really!" she responds with a tone of serious question in her voice

"Yes. I am going to go to South America for almost three weeks" He tells her

"And just why are you going there and to do what?" Kate realizes that Roger has never told her his work experience. In fact he told her very little except that he was 'sort of' retired. So he must be going for a vacation "So there is a vacation in the plans?"

"No it is work"

"OK I'll bite. What kind of work takes you out of the country for three weeks?"

He pauses a brief moment then answers "I am a…shall we say I am a troubleshooter for large companies. I travel around and sort out issues and fix problems"

"And you travel all over the world to do this?"

"Yes. I fly to where I am needed and fix problems"

"That sounds like an interesting job"

"It is. I get to travel all over the world and see fun and fascination places. Meet interesting people but sometimes those people are not happy to see me"

"OH, so you have to get rid of people sometimes?"

"Yes. It is a tough job but someone has to do it and now today it is my turn to take care of a little problem in South America"

"Well Roger, be careful. You say I won't see you for about three weeks?"

"That's how long I have planned to be out. But Kate I will be looking forward to hearing more of your police tales when I return"

"Oh I am sure what you do traveling the world is way more exciting that what I do".

"Oh I doubt that" Roger responds


	7. Chapter 7

**OK I watched 7x1 three times. **  
><strong>I have to say that I liked it<strong>  
><strong>Since we already know Marlow said they will NOT break them up, we just need to sit back and watch<strong>

* * *

><p>Roger is late arriving at the coffee shop today and Kate is already seated at the usual table sipping her morning brew and reading a newspaper. Some part of this man has in fact rubbed off on her.<p>

"Hello Kate" the older man says as he walks up to the table

Kate put on an honest smile "Hey" pointing to the chair "I will move if you want your usual spot"

The older man briefly looks around the room as if contemplating his position in the space "Thank you. I would appreciate that:"

Beckett stands allowing Roger to take his place against the back wall looking out into the room and Kate puts herself in her usual stool

"Kate do you always stalk the older men of the world like you have done to me?"

Kate chuckles briefly then answers with a question of her own "So how was South America? And when did you get back?"

"It was fine and I arrived back in the states last week"

"Well did you fix all the problem of the world while you were there?"

"Not all of them but my fair share. How about you? Get any new and juicy murders for me to hear about? And lastly how are you and your…um…partner getting along?"

"Fine. We're fine. Why?"

"No reason just wondered if there were any changes while I was gone. That's all"

Kate looks down at her coffee and smiles ever so slightly "Roger, Castle is a complicated man. He is a world famous mystery writer. He has traveled all over the world just like you. He has a long list of women in his little black book"

"So" Roger responds

"I am NOT interested in becoming another entry in that journal. That's all"

"Why are you so sure that is what he wants?"

Kate is struggling in coming up with an answer "That's not the point. Anyway you were asking about cases and we got a good one. A man stuffed into a garbage chute in a building."

"What is so unusual about that? I would think that that is a great place to dispose of a body. Drop him down the trash into a dumpster then off to the land fill. No body, no problem"

"You act like you thought about that" Kate laughs as she comments

"No. It just sounds likely that is what happens"

"So anyway it turns out the guy was involved in business espionage and was spying on a competing battery recycle company"

"OH Good! A spy story" Roger comments

"Not so good for the victim"

"He got killed for that?"

"Yeah, the man he was spying on was illegally dumping batteries instead of recycling them. So he murdered then poor man"

"Wow" Roger comments

"Yeah then we had a case involving forged and stolen art and a victim with amnesia"

"Another neat story. Did he get his memory back soon?"

"No actually the memory loss was become long term, but it had a happy ending. Because he lost his memories of his previous life, he and his ex wife got back together. I heard they are still seeing each other. They are doing well"

"Fantastic. But Kate I want to go back to what you said about…you know, him. You know the writer? Why are you feeling so distant from him right now?"

"OK if you must know. We had a case involving a murdered bride's maid"

"How does the death of a member of a wedding party cause…this" He points at the table top

"The bride was Castle's ex lover. His ex …Uh...'One and done', his ex…fiancé"

"OK got it" He responds. Roger can see that this conversation is traveling down a path that is bringing out some very serious emotions for Beckett

"Kate if you don't want to talk about it, it's OK"

"No, it's just the bride and Castle were a couple once many years ago and while the entire time that I was considering her a suspect he went and met with her on a rooftop"

"OK so the met on a rooftop. Then what?"

"They was making out. On that rooftop. I had surveillance pictures of them. Together!"

"So that bothered you that he was kissing her?"

"Yes! NO! I mean he was cavorting with a suspect"

"Not that he was kissing another woman?"

"No! Anyway it turned out that the groom's financial manager killed the woman. It was a tale of money and greed and not love that caused her death"

Kate looks down at her dad's watch "Oh my gosh! I'm late for work. I have to get going. Roger I will see you later?"

"Sure Kate. I will be in town for about a week or so then I am off again"

"Again? Where you going now?"

"England"

"Another troubleshooting trip?"

"No this time to relax and just write"

"Write? You're a writer?"

"Not exactly. I'll tell you what. When you have time I will tell you all about me. OK?"

"OK?" she responds as she stands to walk away "I'm going to hold you to that!"

* * *

><p>At her desk in the station Detective Beckett is reviewing the information on the murder of an Irish mobster and how his murder is connection to her mother's death. Too many similarities in the wounds. . Castle's ever present snooping into Kate's mother's case has come to nest. He brought the proof that the deaths are connected and the killer is close<p>

A person of interest during her interrogation has offered to help Kate find the man who ordered the death of her mother. Her mother's killer! But the price is high. She has to come up with one hundred thousand dollars.

She knows the department will not provide the cash so in her mind, she is looking at her retirement account and the equity in her apartment, available cash on her credit cards and what she has in the bank trying to figure out how she can get that much money together and how quickly she can do it..

"I can't come up with that!" She speaks out loud when she realizes it is not possible for her

That is when he grabs her heart strings and gives them a firm yank. "No, but I can"

This man will not stay out of my personal life and is at it again.

"NO Castle I can't let you do it"

"You can and you will"

"I will not let you do that" She firmly repeats to him

"This conversation is over" He states firmly

The entire plan collapses when Castle realizes the man in custody was the murderer. The man who killed her mom.

She reacts to Castle's comment just in time for the killer to grab a uniform's weapon and place it into Castle's back. He informs her that one wrong move and Rick is the first to get shot and he will die slowly

Quick reflexes, a head butt, and a single gunshot to the chest of Dick Coonan and all hopes of finding out who hired Coonan to kill Johanna Beckett is gone

"Castle, I will pay you back"

"Negative" is his response

Sitting at her desk reading Captain Montgomery's after action repost, she feels Castle's presence as he comes to her side

"You come cross like Stephen Segal"

"Should I be flattered or insulted?"

"Both" She responds lightly

After bringing out every possible food that she might like, he says he is finished and will no longer follow her and that it is his fault that the hit man is dead. He promises to leave her alone.

But something inside of her again pulls her emotions back and she tells him she is accustomed to his ever irritating presence.

"And one day soon I will find the son's of bitches who had Coonan kill her and I want you there when I do"

Inside her mind she still wonders how she will ever be able, someday, that can repay him for his help, support. And especially the money he so willingly gave trying to find her mother's killer. Something he did with no expectation for repayment.

She has a sudden fear enter her mind. What if he wants something from her in payment on a much more personal level? Such as her body! He has been waiting patiently for his chance. For over a year he has been just outside. What if this is it!?

* * *

><p>Kate makes sure she arrives at Jan's Java Joynt early. She is planning on finding Roger and interrogate him on his past. But he is not there today. She takes her Grande Skim Latte and as she is just about to walk out the door Roger almost bumps into her as he is entering<p>

"Hey Kate, leaving so soon?"

No you weren't here so I was just…"

"Can you wait a minute. I will grab my coffee and join you"

Beckett takes her drink and sits down at the table. This high top has become their space ever since she stumbled into him many months ago. Ever since she met Roger, there have been many great stories told over this top. She is not going to leave without the latest tales being passed between these two

"So Kate what great stories can you tell me about involving you and your shadow today?"

Her plans on finding out more on Roger's past get tangled up in her reliving the events of this last week. How Castle's bachelor life made the page 6 article about New York's most eligible single men with money.

She tells the story of how she discovered that the paper had reported that she was tangled up with him. How she found out that it was believed that she was his latest girlfriend

"I was ready to kill him about this. He screamed that it was bad for his reputation. He has no idea what that does to my reputation" Kate says firmly

"I can imagine it helping yours very nicely. The world would know that the famous writer has selected you over all the other women"

Ignoring his statement Kate continues in the story of the squatters in the apartment leading to her and him showing up at the same fancy restaurant with their respective dates.

"So he was there with bachleorette number 3 and I am with Fire Fighter July Calendar centerfold" Kate tells her story "but the whole time we are both thinking about only the case at hand. We both kept getting up from our respective dates and meeting near the bar to listen to Ryan and Esposito fill us in on the clues they were uncovering"

"Well Kate did you go back to your fire fighter and finish your meal and him to his date?"

She chuckles as she finishes telling Roger about her and Castle leaving the other pair together at Rick's table as she and Castle left and closed the case before them.

"Sorry you missed your meal at Drago, Kate. They are really fine purveyors of excellent dining" Roger comments

His knowledge of the fine dining establishment and knowing that is where she was goes completely past her as she recalls what happened after they closed the case. How her and Rick went on their own form of a dinner date. Rick took her to Remy's for cheeseburgers and shakes.

"Actually Castle suggested we go for burgers at Remy's and I have to admit it was nice. Very nice. The burgers were SO good and the shakes absolutely dreamy"

Kate seems to have emotions flowing as she describes what Roger can only describe as

A DATE

"Were the burgers the only thing dreamy?" Roger asks

This is something that she is yet to realize will become their regular date spot


	8. Chapter 8

"So we are following clues on the latest victim. We found her hanging from a jungle gym in the park. She was missing most of her clothes and she was covered in caramel sauce

"Are you serious?" Roger gasps or chuckles. Kate is not sure if he was shocked or he was holding back laughter

"We discovered that she was living the life of a mistress in the world of domination and sexual perversion" Kate continues telling her story to Roger

"Well I guess that was a very interesting case?"

"Oh I had so much fun with Castle" Beckett starts "We tracked down the dungeon where she was torturing her customers and we went looking for information on her or rather the boys started searching"

Kate pauses as she remembers how the males in the station were gawking at an image of some impossible position. She laughs ever so quietly but Roger picks up on the smile on her face

"What's so funny Kate?"

"Oh nothing."

That's a little more than nothing"

"OK if you must know. They guys were looking up the information on the victim and came across a picture of a couple in an impossible sexual position. I just glanced at the image and commented that it was possible as if I really knew. That caused Castle to almost choke on his own tongue. I wanted to laugh out loud but then he would have known that I did it just to torture him"

"Kate that's not nice. I mean teasing him like that"

"Oh he is so easy. I can comment on anything even remotely sexual and he just flips out"

"Kate didn't you say he wrote a sex scene in his first book about you?

Kate turns red "No it was NOT about me. It was Nikki and Jamison Rook. Castle and I have NEVER, I mean never had sex and it will never be happening either"

"Sure Kate, kept thinking that" Roger shakes his head trying to figure out how this woman is not seeing the signs all around her about how this man is interested in her but she keeps pouring water on the flames of this relationship

"Anyway, I called the phone number we found and I set up an appointment with the mistress of the dungeon. I told them that my boyfriend, Ricky, was being a bad boy and I needed him to see the mistress for punishment. He completely freaked out. I laughed so hard over that. He told me to cancel the meeting but then I asked him 'Not afraid of a little role play are you?' Becket continues a tale of her own personal torture of the mystery writer.

Roger just listens to this woman describing events that in any other story would end up with the two being joined at the hip. As if they weren't already joined that way.

* * *

><p>Roger has returned from his latest trip, this time to England, where Beckett finds him there sitting at the corner table. He seems to have a far away look on his face.<p>

"Roger what's wrong. You look like you just lost your very best friend"

"No not that. I just read that you had a very close brush with death last week"

Beckett sits down at the high top with her drink in her hand

"It did get a little close"

"So tell me what happened"

"Well the morning started with Castle walking in and asking me 'Who do you want to play you in the movie? He asked as he sits in his ever irritating location beside my desk. Then it went down hill from there"

"His book is being made into a movie?"

"Yeah but then things became a little more intense for a little while after that" Kate responds

"A LITTLE Tense? That would be an understatement from what was printed in the Post. It says that your apartment was blown up with you in it and the killer kidnapped an FBI agent? I would call that pretty intense" Roger points at the paper on the table

"What happened Kate?" The older man asks

Beckett smiles slightly "A serial killer called me at the station after his first victim in New York. He challenges Nikki Heat to find him and stop him"

"OH wow. So you became the character for this man's sick enjoyment?"

"Something like that"

"Tell me more" Roger closes the paper in front of him and folds his hands to indicate that he is giving her story his complete attention

"Well, he started by murdering a man in Grand Central then a woman on a carousal at Central Park. It made us all believe it was related to a dog death"

"A Dog?"

"Yeah. But the real killer was pretending to be the victim. If that make any sense"

"Sort of" Roger replies just like he did when Kate asked him if he was still working

"Anyway the FBI came in and claimed jurisdiction on the case and Castle became enthralled by the FBI and all the fancy tools they brought"

"He sounds like a guy who would be thrilled by all the technology. So what did the senior agent have to say about you bringing a civilian into the case?"

"Well, she first thought that Castle and I were sleeping together" Kate laughs

"Still not?" Roger quips

"In never gonna happen land" Beckett snaps

"OK" Roger replies quietly

"That's not the point. He was so enthralled by the FBI data mining program. The data matrix and all the computer stuff that Jordan Shaw brought"

"So who is Jordan Shaw?"

"The lead agent for the FBI! It seems Castle knew all about her and all of her accomplishments and all the cases she solved and how she did it and how she was able to sift thru all the clues on finding a serial killer and…"

"Whoa Kate! I get it. He was impressed by her abilities?"

"I guess. As I said he was all over her and…"

And as Kate continues to describe how Castle was totally engaged by this brilliant, intelligent woman FBI agent. Roger is wondering if she was as equally physically attractive as she was mentally attractive because listening to Kate it sounded just like a jealous woman talking about a schoolyard crush

"…then it turned out that the man we thought was the suspect was really the victim and the suspect had played all of us. Then Castle figured out that the suspect was still alive and was after Nikki Heat. I mean he was after me…"

She stops briefly as she considers Castle calling her to protect her

"Then he called me to warm me that the killer was still alive. A bomb placed in my apartment would have killed me if Castle had not called and alerted me just moments before the blast. I jumped into the bath tub and it protected me from the explosion

"Where was he? At home?"

No he was just outside my building. He came in to get me out"

"That was heroic of him" Roger comments

"Not so heroic. I was naked in the tub and he did it so he was able to finally get a flash, which is something he has been trying to do ever since we met"

"Kate, if he just wanted to see you without clothes he would not have been so close to a bomb blast. He was there to protect you. Nothing else"

Roger pauses as Kate seems to be considering his comment

"So your apartment is blown up and you are homeless now?"

"No I got stuck again with Castle. He offered a spare bedroom in his loft to me until I find a new place. So right now, I am trapped in a guest room in a playboy's place. As if my reputation can take any more hits from this guy"

"He seems more interested in your safety than his personal pleasure"

"Again that is not the point. So we finally captured the killer. After Castle figured out where he was and the trap that Dunn had set for the FBI. We went in and rescued Shaw and captured the killer"

She pauses again thinking about the events that occurred. It is becoming more and more difficult for Kate Beckett to ignore the ever presence of the mystery writer and the pull he makes on her emotions.

She looks down at her hands then says so quietly she thinks Roger can't hear "He saved my life…Once Again!"


	9. Chapter 9

Roger is waiting in his usual spot on the bright warm spring morning. It is an absolutely beautiful day beginning in the city. He is planning on using the image of this day to begin trying to pull Beckett out of her shell when it comes to her shadow. Roger has decided that she needs to open up to the feelings that she is keeping buried down deep inside. So today his going to start as soon as she appears.

He has spent the early part of the morning reading the entertainment section of the paper giving a glowing review of the late Bobby Mann. He has just finished the article when Kate sits down beside him

"Hey Roger" She greets the day

"Good morning detective" He responds with a voice full of cheer

Beckett looks across the table at her friend "Really?" she says with a syrupy voice

"What?" Roger question

"Loose the 'I just got laid voice'"

Roger laughs out loud at that comment "Sorry, Kate but I have no idea what you are talking about"

"I'm sorry Roger. You sounded exactly like Castle did the other day when he came into the station after having an…" Kate balks at having to even say what happened "an all night romp with an aspiring actress"

Roger can tell that that event is grinding on Kate but he decides that maybe he can still make a correction in the course "What happened?"

"I told you that Castle's first book, Heat Wave is being made into a movie. Well he was on the Bobby Mann show doing a promotion. In fact it was the last show before Mann died…"

"Yeah I was just reading about his death. What happened to him? The newspapers say he had a heart attack"

"Castle thought it was murder because Bobby Mann told Castle that someone wanted him dead. So he convinced Lanie to look at the autopsy"

"So was it murder?"

"Yes actually but we are keeping it on the down low. At least until we get more information"

So Rick is actually helping you again?"

That question brings an obvious look from her

"That's not the point. We figured out that his old pal and show announcer and partner was the killer. He fed Bobby a fatal cocktail of Cranberry juice and Balsamic Vinegar. He was taking a medicine that made any fermented drink fatal and it would kill him. So no booze but not vinegar either…"

"Both are fermented" The older man firmly states

"OK Roger I need an answer about something"

"Alright" he responds

"How do you know so much about food? You knew about the restaurant Drago, you have eaten Cow's Foot Soup and you know about vinegar. What's the deal?"

"I'll tell you what, Kate. Finish your story and I will tell you everything about me. Deal?"

"Deal"

"Now tell me about this actress and Mr. Castle"

"He met the actress Ellie Monroe on the Bobby Mann TV show and she took Castle for a walk on a wild ride, Of course it turned out that she was only sleeping with Castle to get the part of Nikki Heat in the upcoming movie"

"I assume you told him that he she was just using him?"

Kate looks directly at Roger "DUH…yeah I did"

"How did he take it?"

Laughing Beckett answers "Not very well. He blamed me for her crying, getting mad at him, and storming out of his bedroom. It turned out that she had also slept with the TV station producer."

"The Bobby Mann producer?"

"Yeah. We had him in the interview room, Castle was in the observation room and overheard the information about her well known escapades. Kind of blew up her plan to become Nikki Heat on the big screen"

"Good. So Kate is everything back to normal with you and the writer? At least what you two call normal"

Kate looks down into her coffee cup and takes a deep breath. "Normal? Nothing is Normal between Castle and me. And now I am positive there is no possible chance of our friendship going anywhere else remotely close to normal"

She rubs her hands around the outside of her cup before speaking again. She looks up to her friend

"Roger…Rick Castle is a player. He is a womanizer. A playboy. A skirt chaser. He proved it once again with Ellie Monroe and there is no was that I will ever allow myself to get tangled up in his life. He can keep his Nikki Heat love story. He can keep his book parties. He can keep his gifts, his diners at Remy's and his string of easy available women I am going to avoid anything remotely close to him"

She takes a deep breath and stands up obviously whatever else is on her mind it is coloring her feelings at the moment "I need to get to the precinct. I need a good workout at the gym" Turning back as she starts walking "See you tomorrow Roger"

And just like that, she is out the door. Roger is left at the table alone with his thoughts

'I guess suggesting that she give him another chance is out of the question'.

Roger reaches back under the table to retrieve the latest issue of Traveler Times Magazine. He flips to the 'Best Destinations' Section and begins reading the article about places to visit and dine in Brazil and Peru

* * *

><p>Kate Beckett has changed into her workout gear and is attempting to kill one large punching bag but to no avail. The victim keeps moving away with each punch she throws. She know that today she is especially angry and this poor bag is the recipient of her anger at Castle<p>

It is at this moment a very tall, extremely handsome man steps up and offers to back up the bag so Kate can get her kicks in. After s couple of punches and a spin kick or two, the man finally introduces himself

"I'm Tom Demming, Robbery"

"Beckett. Kate Beckett. Homicide" She responds to the introduction.

"Nice to meet you" The male answers back. It is obvious that this robbery detective is struck by the beauty wearing sparing gloves, form fitted warm ups and attempting to beat a confession out of the punching bag

* * *

><p>Returning to her homicide floor she spots the ever present and now more irritating writer at her desk. They have a new case but this time it involves a robbery tied to a murder.<p>

And to add issues to the case, Javier Esposito seems to have some history with the suspect and also a certain Robbery Detective

When Detective Tom Demming shows up on the floor Richard Castle finds himself in a contest. A contest trying to compete for the favors of a certain Homicide Detective. When it seems Beckett is listening to Demming more than Castle's crazy theories Castle tries even harder to be heard.

She is now going to the crime scenes with the robbery guy and not Castle..

She is questioning suspects with Tom and not Rick

The writer feels like he is being replaced and he tries several tactics in his attempt to stay in the game, trying to keep in the loop, and on Beckett's radar. His latest ploy is to bring her coffee. This is something he did on and off in the past but never consistent. Now he is going to go for broke

But, the robbery detective beats Castle at every turn. Each day she is already fixed for the start with coffee from that 'other man'

As the case progresses, Castle again brings out the crazy theories but this time he becomes the laughing stock.

He struggles over his feelings that he has growing inside. He is not sure if he can temper them anymore. So after the case is over he goes looking for Kate to offer his congratulations and possible attempt to push their relationship a little.

BUT he turns the corner and sees an occurrence that he wishes he was not a witness to.

He sees Detective Demming with his hands on Kate's hips and his lips pressed to hers. To make the situation worse Castle can tell that she is enjoying the detective's advances

His breath hitches and he makes a quick retreat to the break room and is pretending to make a coffee for himself before he departs to head home

* * *

><p>"Good Mourning Roger" Kate Beckett quips happily and loudly as she approaches the corner table "how are you today?"<p>

The older man looks up from the morning paper "You are in a good mood" He firmly states to her obvious pleased expression on her face

"OH I am in the best moods ever"

"So Kate what happened in your life that makes you so happy?"

She has a wide smile on her face "I have a new boyfriend"

"Kate. That's great. So tell me all about him" Roger responds thinking that Beckett has finally opened up to her partner,

"He is tall and handsome and he works in the precinct with me"

Rogers almost cannot contain

But his joy is crushed when she finished telling him about he guy

"His name is Tom and he is a robbery detective"

Roger sits quietly as he listens to her describe the man and paint a beautiful picture of this new guy in her life


	10. Chapter 10

Roger enters Jan's Java Joynt to find the hard working detective is already sitting at the table with her back against the wall. She has a long face and obviously there something troubling her. And from the seriousness of the expression on her face he determines that it must be bad. Very Bad

Roger places his cup of straight up black coffee on the table and without asking her to relocate to the outside chair he sits himself down with his back to the door

"Hey Kate" he speaks softly

"Hi" is her equally quiet answer

"OK Kate! What's wrong?"

"What makes you think anything is wrong?"

"Nothing much, other than the long face and sad eyes that I see form my perspective. Did you loose someone? Or did a much more serious case cross your desk?"

"Neither or rather both"

"OK what happened? Someone close to you have something bad occur?"

"No. Nothing like that"

"Some kind of a bad case then?"

"Yeah"

Roger has now put his morning paper down on the table top and is giving Kate 100% attention

"Tell me what happened"

"We had a man. A chef actually from a new fancy restaurant. He was the chef and partner for this new place. He was found murdered. His kitchen staff discovered him on the floor frozen to death using liquid nitrogen"

"That's what I call a cold blooded murder" Roger comments in a feeble attempt to lighten the atmosphere in the room

"Not so funny" Kate responds

"OK. Sorry"

"We determined he stayed late at the restaurant making a special dessert that required the use of liquid nitrogen in the prep. The killer just used the freezing liquid to kill the chef"

"Why was HE making dessert himself? Didn't' the restaurant have a pastry chef to do that?"

"Oh yeah Q3 had a full complete kitchen staff and…"

"Q3? Are you talking about Wolf?" Roger asks with real concern in his voice.

"Yeah" Kate answers almost like a question herself "you know about Q3 and Wolfe?"

"Oh yes. One of the best dining experiences in town. Right up there with Drago. Anyway what happened?"

"We determined that he had sold his part in a smaller café he owned jointly with this foster brother and also cleaned out his savings"

"That's odd" Roger says

"Ironically Q3's senior partner was a former high school classmate of mine"

"Convenient. You had someone to question that you did not consider a suspect"

"Oh I had to bring her in for questioning. We found out that Wolfe wanted out and she would have to pay Wolfe a lot to get him out. But if he died she gained a cool half million in partner insurance. So I thought there was a possibility she was involved in his death"

"Was that Madison Quillar by chance?"

"Yes how did you know?"

"The night that Castle and her were out on a tasting experience I saw you come in and the three of you left together. She and Mr. Castle seemed a little upset with you. Kate you were upset with them for being out on a date?"

Kate stops for a moment "No! Anyway that's not the point. The point was we thought that Maddie was involved and she might have killed Wolfe but she didn't"

"So who did it and why?" Roger wonders

Kate laughs a moment "Someone close and naturally it involved a woman"

"What?"

"Castle came up with the idea that he was working late on a special dessert. A sugar heart to top a cake. A cake he made to use to propose to a woman"

"Sound like a romantic proposal"

"Might have been had he been able to do it. But he died just after finishing the cake"

Roger looks across to Kate to judge any reaction she is having

Kate continues telling her story "Castle smashed open the heart and found the ring…"

Beckett stops in her description thinking about the ring and how when Rick pulled it out of the decoration he was holding it up to her face like a man proposing to a woman. Kate had briefly been taken back by the closeness of this act. As if inside he was actually presenting a ring to her. She had to pull herself back down to the fact she has a boyfriend when Castle did this

"So you found a ring but no one knew that he had a girlfriend?"

"UH…no. Everyone thought he was totally involved in the business. Even his partner my old high school friend of mine"

"Wait a minute. Old friend. Chef, engagement ring. Who was the fiancé?"

"Not a fiancé. But a woman he was in love with but she was already involved with another man"

"Oh good. Lovers triangle" He speaks quietly under his breath. Beckett does not notice that Roger has turned as has a wish full look on his face as if he is thinking about something important

"Not to good actually. We finally figured out who Wolfe was planning on proposing to"

Roger looks back to Beckett. Not so much at her but past her like he is thinking about something else

"It seems he fell in love with a woman who was already the girlfriend of someone very close to him"

Kate pause again noticing Roger seems distracted

"Two men were both in love with the same woman" Beckett states firmly. She does notice that Roger's face just fell from her statement

"Wolfe had gotten the woman pregnant and he was wanting to change his life and marry her. Do the right thing but his brother found out and the murder happened"

Kate pauses a minute before continuing

"Yeah the victim wanted to do the right thing with the girl. It seems he got her pregnant and he was willing to give up everything in his life to be with her and raise his child"

"The poor guy sold all of his possessions including his part in a restaurant so he could buy her a ring…but…" She stops in her story

Kate is sure that something very serious is happening with Roger since he has changed to a sullen expression and seems to be focused on the outside window of the shop

"OK" Roger stops the conversation without further comment

Beckett looks up at Roger and she is positive she sees a tear in his eye. She has been meeting this man a couple of times a week foe almost two years ant this is the first time she sees any sign of emotion.

"Roger! What's wrong?"

"Nothing" He quietly responds

"Roger! This is something. Did I say something wrong? Do I do something wrong?"

"No" he responds with his voice even

Kate reaches out and for the first time since they met touches the older man. When she does this she realizes something very strange happens. She feels something. Something very odd. The contact with this man seems somehow familiar. It feels to her like they are connected much deeper somehow. This had the feel a person gets when they are in contact with an immediate family member or whit that someone special in that comes into their lives from outside.

From the change in his expression Kate believes that Roger must also realize the same experience

"Roger. What happened? What did I say? Please tell me. You have become like my special grandfather and I am feeling your pain and if I did something or said something, I want to fix this"

Roger finally looks up toward the lovely young lady that has been a major part of his early morning routine for so long now "Kate when you came in here a year ago, I noticed you immediately. Your hair. Your frame. Your skin Your face. All these things brought back a memory from my past"

Kate truly is concerned by his confession

"When I was younger my brother and I both had a crush on a girl from the town were we lived"

"You never mentioned a brother. Ion face we have never discussed wither of our families"

Right. Well he and I were both chasing Marsha Ivy. She was tall like you. Brunette like you. Olive skin like you. Kate I'm sorry but you looked just like her so I was taken back. My defense mechanism. I am sorry for that"

"Not a problem Roger, but there must be more if this story is bothering you so much"

Roger takes a deep breath My brother Randy was the more mature of the two of us. I was the bad boy. I was always getting in trouble. Drag racing. Hanging out with the bad crowd. Getting drunk with all my buddies. We were quite a crowd. But Randy was the solid rock in the family"

"Was he older than you?"

Roger chuckles "Yeah by 6 minutes"

"You are a twin?"

"Yes. The bad twin I always told everyone"

"You don't seem so bad anymore. I mean since I met you, you seem to be very straight and narrow"

"I am now. It just took a long bumpy road to bring me here"

"You did say you liked to drag race"

Roger stops again and takes a deep breath "It was a drag race that brought my life down. And at the same time made me change"

* * *

><p>T<strong>o all my readers. It is time for this story to go off the rails.<br>WAY off the rails**  
><strong><br>For everyone who thought Roger was Castle daddy ? ? ?**  
><strong>IS HE?<strong>


	11. Chapter 11

**I promised everyone this was going off the rails. So here you go**

* * *

><p>She is not sure about anything anymore. Yesterday was fine. Yesterday was perfect. Yesterday she had accepted a new relationship with a new man and this man was doing everything humanly possible to make her happy.<p>

She is, of course, positive his actions directed at her are his attempt to achieve his goal of getting her horizontal. Soon!

He has been helpful in solving cases, just like the other guy. He has been nice to her bringing her coffee and other treats, just like the other guy. He did invite her on a nice week end getaway.

JUST LIKE THE OTHER GUY!

So why is she sitting here in the coffee shop with her insides all twisted up. Her skin crawling. Her breathing accelerated. Her chest tightened. WHY?

Because her long time tag along has just told her that their partnership is over.

"I thought this would be our last case" He had said

He actually said that this is our last case. He is really leaving me. For good? Esposito said it perfectly

"Whatever the reason he's been following you around? I'm sure it didn't include seeing you be with another guy"

Why would HE care? Why does he care? Why do I care?

Kate Beckett's thoughts are interrupted by the presence of her regular morning friend "Hi Kate"

"Roger" is her one word reply

"What's going on Kate?" Roger can see that she is deep in self deprecating

"Just having an internal argument about a case. That's all. So how are you today?"

"Good. Great as a matter of fact. I am actually getting ready to leave town for a while"

Actually the thought of Roger leaving town creates a moment's hitch in Kate. She realized that not only is Castle leaving but Roger is going to be gone too.

"How long?"

"About two months. I wasn't planning on going anywhere for a while but something came up and I have to make an extended trip"

Kate turns fully toward her old friend and her brain goes into full overdrive. 'Castle is leaving me and now my good friend and morning coffee companion is going to be gone for months'

She decides that she will use this moment to digging into the mystery past of Roger Chandler

"OK. Time for true confessions Roger. Where are you going and what is it you do? Really Do!"

"It is funny you say true confessions. Because I…um…I…uh…"

"Roger! Spill"

"Alright Kate. But it is a secret. A big secret. You must promise me that you will never tell anyone what I do. Who I am! Promise?"

Beckett smiles at the man like she thinks he is going to give her some super secret spy story

"I am a food critic"

There is a long pause as Kate absorbs the statement that Roger just made

"A…Food…Critic?" She says almost as if she doesn't believe him

"Yes, Kate I write a syndicated piece that is published in dozens of newspapers around the globe and I am a major contributor to about a dozen magazines published all over the world"

She stops smiling when she realizes he is not kidding. He is dead serious

"You write about food?"

"Well food and under another assumed name travel logs"

Kate sits quietly

"I get to travel all over the world and visit beautiful and exotic places. I get to stay in luxury hotels and villas and dine at the finer establishments from Moscow to Beirut. From Florence to London, From San Palo to Denver"

"WOW" is all she can say

"Then I write articles about the food, the vacation spots. The lodging. I get to see the world and I get paid to do it

"OKAAAAY!" Kate drags out the word into a full blown sentence

"You are a travel writer?"

"That's me" Roger answers confident in his response

"A food critic?"

"That too"

"I thought you said you were a troubleshooter. You went around fixing problems all over the world"

"I do that too. Since I am an expert in fine dining, I am hired by major corporations to go to their troubled establishments and deal with the problems"

"So when you said that you have to 'Get Rid of People Sometimes' you are talking about…"

"Firing them! Replacing them! Replacing them with someone who will get the job done"

Kate chuckles

"What did you think I meant?"

"Nothing. I actually considered the fact you said you like spy books and maybe you were a spy. That's all"

Roger laughs "Sorry to disappoint you Kate. But I am just a food critic and resturaunt consultant…Who likes spy books"

"That's cool. I think" Kate responds "How in the world did you go from being the bad boy in the neighborhood to a respected food expert?"

Roger pauses for a minute then decides to complete the story he began a few days before. Kate can tell that there are some deep seeded issues relating to the story about to unfold

"Kate I told you I was pretty much the black sheep in my family. My family was not rich. Our dad and mom owned a small café. We both worked in the café all the way through high school. Randy and I spent a lot of time helping our mom and dad run the little grill. We lived in the apartment upstairs"

"So your family owned a small diner?"

"The key word was small. Dad and I did the cooking. Randy helped out and bused the tables. We had only one waitress beside our mother and that was Marsha Ivy. She came to work her senior year in high school. Randy and I were a year ahead of her. We had already graduated Anyway we were happy except I had a crush on Marsha but it seemed that she was into Randy"

Beckett laughs "I usually went after the bad boys. Not the nice guys"

"That is so true a lot of the time. But this one I was interested in Marsha and seemed to have no use for the bad boy, me. She seemed totally into Randy and ignored me. I had a crush on her in a big way and was planning on changing my ways to try to get her. But I never said a word"

"So Randy and Marsha were a dating?"

Roger suddenly goes very sullen before answering "I destroyed it. I destroyed everything"

"EVERYTHING" Roger speaks firmly

"What happened?"

"I told you that I hung out with the bad crowd"

"Yeah"

"One of the things we did was drag race. We went our on the old main highway just outside of town. This is where we had drag races every Friday night. Then one night just after 10PM I was racing against Tommy Marsh. He was in a super charged Chevy and I was in my souped up Ford…"

He stops again then continues

We had painted a line across the highway and another one quarter mile away. We lined up and they dropped the flag. I was wining by two car lengths against Tommy when I saw the headlights of a car coming down the road toward us. This was the OLD highway. No one ever used it anymore after they built the bypass. No one was supposed to be on it No one used it since the interstate had been built a few years before…"

He stops again

"Who was it?"

He just looks out the window

"Roger?" Kate asks gently

"It was my mom and my dad and…"

"Oh No! Randy?"

"No. It was Marsha. They had just closed the café and were taking Marsha home. Randy had stayed behind to finish cleaning up after closing"

"Roger…what happened?"

"Everything was just gone in a flash. Tommy hit them head on. All four were killed. No one survived"

Kate takes Roger's hand once more and again received the tingle from the contact "I am so sorry. Your entire family…?"

"…except Randy. But of course he blamed me for the accident like I was the one who hit them. I only saw them seconds before the wreck…but he was right, it was my fault. If I had not been racing they…"

"Roger. If you were not the one racing it would have been someone else"

"No one saw it that way. Randy never came back to the café we had a giant fight. He told me that Marsha was in love with me. But she was afraid to get involved with me because of my reputation. She was going out with Randy just to try to get me jealous."

Kate is sitting in chilled silence

Roger continues his story "Randy went out and joined the army the day after the funeral. He signed his share of the inheritance to me and never looked back" We never spoke after that"

"Did you ever make up?"

"The Viet Nam war was in full swing. After boot camp, I found out he went to Nam with the Green Berets. He had made Special Forces. He evidently dedicated himself to the service. I heard he was planning on making it a career"

Kate is now totally into the story

"After he left I had cleaned up my act. I worked hard to make a go of the diner. I actually had grown the place's popularity and saved some money. I discovered I had a knack for cooking and had turned our little place into a regional hot spot with a few of the recipes I created.

"So you were a local celebrity

"I guess"

"Did you ever hear from your brother again?"

Roger has again become very quiet

"No. the next contact I got was THE 'Visit'. The Visit from the Department of the Army that every family dreads. The one starting out with the words 'We regret to inform you…'"

"I am so, so sorry Roger"

Thank you Kate. It was been a long time ago"

"What did you do then?"

"I was able to sell the dinner because of its success. I took the money and what I had saved and the money from my brother's government life insurance and I went to Culinary School and became a Chef myself. But after running the family store for several years I decided that being in the kitchen was not what I really wanted to do. I used my experience to create a food column in the paper then I grew it into a multi magazine travel piece"

"Sound like you grabbed success from tragedy"

"Kate I think every day about the time we never had. My family and especially Marsha. If I had been able to tell her how I felt. Had she told me she was interested in me. I would not have been racing. If I had not been the bad boy"

"Makes you think about all the things in your life that you don't want to put off anymore" Kate speaks almost silently

Her heart screams 'I can fix this. I will fix this. When this case is over I will fix this'


	12. Chapter 12

**For the sake of those you asked me NOT to go thru Josh and Gina**

**Sorry but they were there, but I will deal with them differently**

**I promise this will all make sense…later.**

**Much Later**

* * *

><p>PAIN!<p>

SCREAMS!

WHITE LIGHT!

BEEPING!

VOICES YELLING!

MORE PAIN!

Blackness

Kate Beckett awakens from a dream. Is it a dream? Is it real? It seems like a dream or more accurately a nightmare.

He peers around the room. She is in a hospital bed. There are nurses and technicians moving about the room. A gentle voice speaks from beside her

"Kate…Kate…Can you hear me Kate?"

"Hum" is her only sound 'what happened? Where am I? Where is…" She opens her eyes to see the man sitting in the chair beside her bed.

There he is. A Man's face. A face she recognizes but she doesn't recognize. There is confusion painted across her brow.

The man can tell that the patient does not fully understand what is happening

"Kate do you know where you are? What is happening? Who I am?"

"Um…Yeah. I think"

"Kate, it's me Josh. Josh Davidson. You r boyfriend"

She looks at the face that it staring lovingly at her but she is not sure she recognizes it

"Josh?" after a pause "My Boyfriend?" she says as if she doesn't believe it

"Kate you have been trough a lot over the last three days. What do you remember?"

"I…I…don't remember anything since…" her confusion is moving the forefront now. This man said he was her boyfriend. She didn't have a boyfriend. She just broke up with her boyfriend Tom Demming

"I'm sorry but I don't know you. How do I know you?"

"We have been dating. For almost 6 months. We met at a bar near the hospital. We struck up a conversation because you saw my motorcycle helmet. You told me about your Harley"

It is apparent that Kate Beckett is totally and completely confused over the current situation.

"I don't remember that"

"What is the last thing you do remember?"

She pauses a moment then as her eyes scan from left to right as her brain is attempting to retrieve information and process the events currently surrounding her

"I…uh…I was trying to get back to the station in time to be at Castle's going away party. He was leaving to write his next book and I needed to tell him that…I…uh…"

She slows down her description as she realizes that the man sitting beside her thinks he is her boyfriend and he probably does not be want to hear about her plans to go to the Hamptons with the writer. The writer that this man hates with a vengeance

"Needed to tell HIM What Kate? What do you need to tell the man who was responsible for you being shot? The man responsible for the death of Captain Montgomery…The man responsible for…"

She stops this tirade mid sentence with her next words

"ROY IS DEAD? How? Who? What happened?"

Beckett's screaming causes the nursing staff to rush to her bedside and even thought the man sitting here is a doctor the unit supervisor directs him to leave the area immediately so they can get the patient calmed down

After a few minutes the room has settled down and the patient has been sedated. Her best friend enters and moves beside the staff

"How is she?" Lanie asks the director

"She is experiencing retrograde amnesia but we are not surprised being she was just shot in the chest by a sniper. Be have sedated her now so she can get some rest"

Lanie is looking at the IV bags hanging just above her friend "What are you giving her?"

The charge nurse looks at the paperwork and reads off to Lanie what is being given to Kate. The doctor listens carefully as a host of medication are presented that would cause any person to be unconscious but also bring out some very vivid and frightening dreams.

After completing her mental inventory of the drugs Lanie sits down in the chair beside her best friend and takes a hold of Beckett's hand

"Sweetie, when you wake up I will fill you in on all the things that happened"

What Lanie does not know it that Kate's loss of memory goes all the way back to when she wanted to leave with Castle for the Memorial Day weekend and in her drug induced coma she is now living the days and weeks proceeding the attempt on her life.

Her first memory travels back to that spring day after the Spy Ventures case was completed.

* * *

><p>Fall in New York is normally very beautiful. The sun lower in the sky. The trees beginning to show their autumn colors. Then finally the shedding of the foliage and finally the tree limbs become barren no longer blocking the light.<p>

This is exactly how Kate Beckett feels today. Her feelings stripped from her and all the limbs completely void of any of their beauty

She has spent the last four months thinking about what she could have done differently. How she should have told him sooner that she wanted to open up to him. How she was ready to at least try to have a life not focused around her work and her mother's death.

But instead of these new and wonderful things she is alone. At least alone at home. Alone in her personal life. No regular dates. No boyfriends. No lovers. Nothing except the life that she seems to select each and every time a decision is presented to her, she selects poorly.

And last spring she selected wrong

AGAIN.

She picked to go to the Hamptons with her writer, friend, partner, but he picked someone else.

She had tried so hard to open up and accept his invitation after she finally had accepted the fact that hiding behind a fake boyfriend was not an adequate shield from what she truly wanted.

But her delays had cost her once more. This time it cost her dearly!

Her mind is drifting back to that nice spring day when they had just wrapped up the case of the Spycation and the jilted husband murdering his wife's undercover lover. She set her resolve to go with Castle but she first had to tell the man she was dating that she wanted something else. She had it all planned out how she was going to go into the going away party the guys had set up and drag him into the hall and tell him that having him around had been great and she really wanted to keep their relationship alive and that…

Finally! She was going to go with him to his vacation home and spend the holiday alone with him.

BUT…As always, something seems to get in the way. On her way to the break room, her resolve set, her determination fixed that she is going to talk to him. Straight up. To his face. She is going to say how she really feels…BUT

"Detective Beckett" Comes the firm voice of Assistant District Attorney Walt Bishop

Kate stops in her tracks. A cold chill passes from her toes to the top of her head. This man's reputation is well known. Every defendant prays that they not draw him as the prosecutor. Every cop is happy when he is on the case. If the evidence is solid, the case is all but won and the criminal can expect to spend a very long time behind bars.

But today, his voice is not what Beckett wants to hear

"Detective Beckett. I need to talk to you right now"

"Sir can't it wait for a few minutes?"

"No. I am meeting with the defense attorney in an hour. She wants to strike a deal and I am not inclined to give an inch. So I need to go over some information with you"

Kate is looking in the general direction of the break room wishing she could at least see Castle and to let them know she is going to be delayed for a few minutes and she really must talk to him before he leaves today, but her line of sight is blocked

The prosecutor and detective move to a conference room that is not normally used by the officers in the station. Unfortunately this room is out of eye line from pretty much the entire floor. Anyone not knowing they were in there would miss seeing them

The attorney's questioning starts at the beginning of the case and is asking questions about the crime scene. The body, the weapon found at the scene. Evidence, blood, DNA and on and on. He wanted details on her method of investigating and how she came to the conclusion on the suspect and how she tracked the evidence to its final conclusion...

After an hour in this meeting Kate Beckett finally was able to leave the room and she quickly moves over toward the room where the party had been planned. As she enters the space she was met with vacant chairs, empty pizza boxes and several beer bottles now void of any contents

In what can only be called panic Beckett rushes toward the bull pen looking for anyone. She is confronted by her best friend and her friend's current love interest, Javier Esposito. The two of them seem to have very downtrodden faces

"Hey?" Kate says

"Hey girlfriend" Lanie comments quietly "Where've you been?"

"The DA caught me and wanted a bunch of questions answered on a case. Where's Castle?" Kate is looking all around the floor

"He left" Esposito answers

This statement brings a hitch to Beckett's throat

Lanie pulls Kate aside "Sweetie! I'm sorry. We tried to keep him here so you could tell him goodbye. He seemed to be trying to delay leaving. He kept looking out the door like he expected to see you. I think he finally gave up. Decided you didn't want to see him off"

"I tried…I wanted to talk to him"

"Gina showed up and he left with her"

"Gina?" Beckett chokes out the question


	13. Chapter 13

**I hope this brings a little clarity to everyone**  
><strong>It is not my intent to confuse or to anger anyone.<br>Please remember I just like driving down different roads. That's all  
><strong>

* * *

><p>The day moved to evening and the evening to night. Kate Beckett was not aware of where she is in the context of the day. The minutes and hours blur together and was the course of her day,<p>

She only knew the horror that continually traveled from her chest to her brain. The pain and panic searing her mind. She can feel the tremor in her legs and arms as she tries desperately to get her brain to accept what is taking place around her

"Castle…Castle…please stop…I need to talk to you…" Kate is mumbling just loud enough for Lanie to hear

Dr. Parish leans in close to her friend "Kate…Kate…Sweetie, its Lanie. Can you hear me?"

"Hum…" Kate Beckett's eyes slowly open as she is trying to focus on her surroundings "Where am I?"

"You are in the hospital"

"OH!" Beckett turns her head toward the door as if she is looking for someone

"Kate. You were calling for Castle. Do you need me to call him and have him come here?"

"He's not here?" She asks as if she was expecting him to be here

"No. He was told to leave and not…" Lanie stops her sentence

"Told to leave? Who told him to leave?"

"Josh told him to leave and never some back"

"Who is Josh?" Beckett again does not seem to remember the man who claims to be her boyfriend

"Kate you and Josh Davidson have been dating for the last six months"

"I am? I didn't go with Rick to the Hamptons…no wait. He already left before I…?"

Lanie can see that Beckett is very confused by the current situation "No sweetie. You never did"

"Then why do I remember him standing over me telling me not to leave him…"

"He tried to save you Kate"

"I don't understand Lanie. I was…"

"You were shot. Castle tried to push you out of the way. He tackled you to the ground and covered your body with his own"

"Shot! I was shot?"

Lanie takes a hold of Beckett's hand but is afraid to squeeze because there are so many wires and tubes connected to her friend

"Yes. You were shot at the funeral"

"What funeral?"

Lanie realizes she has just opened a door that she wishes she had left closed. At least for now "Captain Montgomery's funeral" Lanie says softly

Beckett again reacts to the news and starts becoming agitated and trying to stand up. Lanie stops her from hurting herself. She calls for a nurse to come help calm the detective down

The nurse is forced to sedate Beckett one more time

As she feels the effects of the drugs the memories from last spring come out as if they were new

As Dr. Lanie Parish watches over her best friend, the wounded detective drifts out into a land of dreams and nightmares

To Kate Beckett, the drug induced dreams return. She is now traveling back to the summer of loss. The time she was alone. No boyfriend. No writer or companion or partner

Or Friend

* * *

><p>Katherine Beckett is entering her favorite coffee shop. Today for the first rime in several months but she sees her old friend sitting at his usual table<p>

"Roger" there is obvious glee in Beckett's voice

He responds with "Kate. So nice to see you"

"What happened? I though you were gong to be gone only a couple of months. It has been like 4"

"Sorry, something came up while I was in Peking and I got re routed somewhere else"

"At least you are home safe" Beckett says

"That I am. So how have things been here? Any juicy cases? Any unusual murders? Any upgrades on you love life?"

Roger does not realize that this questions is painful for her. He is not privy to Kate's hurt and pain from discovering that her partner left. With his ex wife and especially that no one has seen him since

"No! nothing. Except…" she halts in her story

"Except what Kate?"

"Castle's gone"

"What do you mean gone? Gone where?"

"He left me…I mean the team and has returned to his old party life. Chasing women"

"What are you talking about? What women?"

"Back in the spring he took off with his ex wife"

Roger sits quietly on the stool and sips his morning brew

"Oh. What happened?"

"I messed up. He left with his ex wife and I lost him forever"

"Kate! I am so very sorry" Roger comments.

"It's ok I guess. He is happy without me"

"Are you happy?"

"Not really."

"Talk to me Kate"

"Castle asked me to go to the Hamptons with him and I turned him down telling him that I had to work but then the guy I was dating asked me, in front of Castle, to go with him and it all blew up"

Kate then goes into great detail about the events of the next few days. How she broke up with Tom and tried desperately to tell Castle she was willing to go with him. Then to have her heart broken by the writer after she discovered that he left with Gina.

* * *

><p>The pain in thinking about this event causes her to wake back up in the hospital. She opens her eyes and sees her ever faithful best friend sitting next to her bed<p>

"Hey Lanie" comes the very weak statement from Kate

"Girlfriend. How are you?"

"I've been better. What happened to me?" Kate's question serves to remind Lanie how fragile the human mind can be when it comes to handling trauma

"You were shot" This time Kate's best friend decides to not add the tag line explaining where it occurred

Beckett's eyes close momentarily then she opens them again

"Roy's funeral? Right?"

"Yes Kate. You were shot while you were giving the eulogy"

Confusion is evident on Kate's face. "Was Castle there?"

"Yes sweetie, he was. Why?"

"I am having trouble remembering things"

"Kate, that is natural. What DO you remember?"

"I remember Castle leaving to go to=o the Hamptons with Gina. Then…I am…I am not sure about much else"

There is a gentle knock on the door then it swings open slightly. Lanie responds "Come in"

"A slight smile is coming from Rick Castle's face as he peeks around the door. He finally opens the door completely and enters. He is holding a large array of flowers

"I heard you were opening a flower shop and I thought I would contribute"

Lanie looks at the writer then to her friend "I am going to take a break. You two talk" She stand and walks to the door. "Be gentle with her" she whispers

"The way you're looking at me, I must look awful"

"No, I just thought I was never going to see you again"

"I hear you tried to save me"

"Yeah…I…uh" he sops his statement "You HEARD? You don't remember the gunshot?" He pauses once again

A somewhat feeble response comes from the wounded detective "No. I don't remember much of anything"

"You don't remember me… me pushing you to the ground…?"

"They say some things are better not remembered"

"Yeah I guess so." Then looking up at the man standing over her bed she is seeing something in his eyes she does not remember seeing before and it is scaring her

"Did you stop me from helping Roy?"

Castle can tell that she has large holes in her memories

"Yeah I did Kate. They would have killed you"

"You don't know that"

"Kate…uh…I…" He is trying to tell her that he wants her to be ok. He wants her to come back. He wants so much more from her

"I'm really, really tired. I need to rest right now"

"OK" as he moves toward the door "Talk tomorrow"

"Do you mind if we don't. I need some time"

"Fine. How long?"

"I'll call you. OK?"

Richard Castle just felt his legs go out from under him. He knows full well that she is telling him to never call her again. And he will honor that request. What is not going to tell her is even though he will stay away, this time, he will still use all of his resources in locating her shooter and stop the rampage

The door closes to her room and Kate is alone again. She is trying to force memories to return but with only limited success. The only memories she can pull up are the hurt from the writer leaving with his ex wife

Then her supposed boyfriend and how he came about. She remembers dating him on the rebound of Castle leaving. Then she has a memory that something about the ex wife not being what it appeared to be.

The next item is the pain she experienced in her shooting and the chaos surrounding her bed in the ICU

There is also a vague glimpse of the writer leaning over her, begging her not to leave. But everything else is blurred out by the pain

Kate Beckett is not positive if what her mind is telling her is real or imagined.

As she looks up the door opens again and the man who clams to be her boyfriend is entering once again.

"Kate. How are you feeling?" He asks

For some reason, in her heart, she knows that what she is about to do is the right thing to do

"Josh, We need to talk…"

* * *

><p><strong>OK here we go.<strong>  
><strong>If you are running scared.<strong>  
><strong>1. She is breaking up with Josh. But we will still deal with him in memories<strong>  
><strong>2. The Hamptons issue with Gina is not what happened in the show<strong>  
><strong>3. Most important. She DOES NOT remember the ILY<strong>  
><strong>At least not right now<strong>


	14. Chapter 14

Lanie Parish walks into the hospital room and finds her best friend, Kate Beckett sitting in a chair eating her breakfast.

"Hey girlfriend, you are looking so much better today. How are you feeling?"

"Pretty good. The Doctor came in this morning and told me that I get to go home. Or go to rehab for 8 weeks then another 4 weeks in obligatory disability time off"

"Really? You get to go home already? It seems like just yesterday when you were shot, not 2 weeks" Lanie comments

"It feels like two years since I was at work. I am about to go stark raving mad sitting in this room"

"So, do you want me to help you pack?"

"No" I already have everything packed and in that bag over there" Beckett points toward a small overnight bag, it is the same one she had taken to LA with Castle just a few months ago

Just as if on cue the room door opens and Kate's dad appears bringing a roll around cart so he can load up all the flowers filling the room.

"Hello Dr. Parish" Jim Beckett says to his daughter's best friend

"Hi Mr. Beckett" Lanier responds showing her respect for her friends dad

"Call me Jim":

"And my name Lanie"

"Glad you two got that out of the way. So Dad, let's not take all these flowers. Just a few" As Kate points out a couple of the plants that she had set aside. These are the ones that she knew Lanie had sent.

"What about all these others?" Jim questions his daughter

"OH…Those…they are from other people" It is apparent to Lanie and Jim Beckett that Kate is deliberately leaving these other items behind.

Jim loads up the cart and just as he places Kate's bag on the lower tray the door opens and the nursing unit manager enters with a clip board filled with paperwork to be read and signed. As this task is being performed, Lanie uses the distraction to snoop around the other flowers to see who sent them. Lanie is somewhat surprised to discover that with the exception of a couple of smaller arrangements, that are withering, the majority of the nicer and most beautiful plants had been sent by one very determined mystery writer. In any other world, Lanie knew that Kate should be taking these with her and cherishing the meaning of these items of affection.

But at this moment Lanie can tell that Kate Beckett is not in the mood to talk about the writer.

The trio move downstairs to the covered drive where Kate is gently placed into the front seat of her dad's car. Lanie tells her best friend to be careful and asks where they are heading

"I am going to my dad's cabin for a few days then I have to start rehab on Monday. I will be there three days a week but I am planning to stay back in the cabin the rest of the time"

:"OK Kate. You let me know whatever you need and I will tell the guys where you will be if anyone wants to come out to see you"

Kate's face goes dark "Lanie, would you mind not telling them…at least for a few weeks. I have a lot of things I need to sort out in my head right now"

"Alright Kate. But you know where I will be and if you need anything I will be there in a flash. You understand?"

"Thanks Lanie. I will call you. OK"

"OK Bye" Dr. Parish is left standing at the entry of the hospital wondering what is going on the head of her best friend and what 'things' she need to sort out

The Beckett pair has left the hospital and is heading out to the cabin in the woods where Kate hopes to fins a small amount of healing space. He dad, however, is more concerned about her mental health.

Since the shooting, she has not even mentioned Castle's name in any context. He is sensitive to the fact that in the weeks and months leading up to Captain Montgomery's murder and her shooting that Kate had spent more and more time talking about the writer, tag along. Talking about him and not her claimed to be 'boyfriend'

She had mentioned how he had helped her rescue the boys from the man who ended up killing Montgomery. How Castle had gone to LA with Kate to find the man who murdered her former training officer. At one point in the discussion about the California trip, she seemed as if she had a confession to make about it. But she never finished her story. She just said that Castle had told her why he liked being around her and she blushed

As the car pulls into the driveway of the small secluded lodge Kate takes in a deep breath of the clean air. She feels invigorated by the smell of pine trees and the crisp air. Her dad refuses to allow her to carry anything inside. He handles all flowers and her bag. He carries her carry all into her room as she follows.

It has been several years since she spent a night in this room but in a way is seem like only yesterday. She sits down on the bed and lays back and placed her head on the pillow. She must have been more tired that she realized because she wakes up three hours later. Someone has removed her boots and covered her up with a comforter.

Pulling the warm cotton filled blanket around herself she walks beck into the main room. There she finds her dad, sitting in his usual chair reading a brief for a case he is working on back in the city

"Hey dad"

Jim Beckett looks up from his papers "Hello Kate. Did you sleep well?"

Placing herself on her usual chair beside her dad "I didn't know I was so tired"

"Your body told you what you needed and you did what it said. You slept"

"Thank you for bringing me out here, dad. But you don't need to stay if you need to go back to the city for work"

"I need to leave in the morning. I will stay tonight then head back before dawn"

"Dad, you don't have to…"

"Katie. Will you let me stay here and take care of you? At least tonight?"

She smiles at her father. The one man that has always been beside her no mater how hard she was to raise. The man who showed her the real meaning of family no mater how often she rebelled at his parentage The man who was the shining example of a loving father no mater how often she felt that she shouldn't be loved.

She closes her eyes to cherish the fact he is always there for her when suddenly his face is replaced by another man's face and it startles her

The early sun breaks over the tree tops. Kate Beckett is sitting on the porch of her dad's cabin watching the sparkles of the morning dew on the leaves. The sounds of the woods is relaxing or more accurately maddening 'Silence'

She walks back into the living room and glances over to the fireplace mantle. This is where her father placed the flowers she brought from her hospital room. She thought that there were only two or three plants he was to have brought.

But instead there are almost a dozen containers of greenery. Kate steps up to the fireplace and looks at the arrangements. Attached to each is a card. She takes the first one down and read the note

'Please hurry back. We miss you' signed the detectives at the 12th

'Get well soon detective. The criminals are waiting' signed the uniformed officers

'Please get better. I need to see that smile everyday' Signed Rick

She looks over the next several plants and notices they are also from Castle.

'Why did he send so many flowers? I told him to leave me alone' she considers her actions at the hospital. 'And I told my dad to leave then there'

The last plant seems so very nice. She picks up the card and smiles when she reads what is written there for her

'Please get well soon, Kate. We all miss you at Jan's Java Joynt' signed Jan, Val, Tony and Andy

Then she notices another name added 'Roger'

It is now that she decides that she will somehow, someway get back to that place. She knows that Roger may hold her answers. She spoke to him several times a week and he had become her confidant. If anyone knew about the secrets blocked in her head, he is it. She plans to get back to the high top table in the corner and to her friend

But now she is tied down to rehab. Body and mind must be brought back

Physical therapy is not too hard for Kate Beckett. She was an active person before the shooting. Recovering from the event was easier than most. When a therapist is faced with a 'Couch Potato' they have to start from scratch They usually have to force the patient to start moving around.

In the case of Kate Beckett, the student almost became the teacher. Beckett was more than ready to start running but the trained professional had to pull her down and make her take it slow. Muscles had to heal. Tendons to reattach themselves. Skin had to grow to cover wounds.

Mental healing was a little harder to take in for the independent detective. This woman has for the last ten plus years taken care of her own emotions. Never letting anyone inside her head. No one was permitted to see past her retaining wall. No one was allowed to see the real Kate Beckett.

That is until a certain writer snuck past the guard shack. Crawled under the fence. Penetrated the vault.

And now she is having to allow another to see inside.

Dr. Burke

At least with Dr. Burke she can limit access. She just has to allow him to see the gunshot, wounded detective. If she can convince him that the 'Shot In The Line of Duty' officer is healed and can do her job, then she can put this all on the back burner and move forward.

But her first day in the mental heath professional does not go her way. It begins with him not asking questions like she thought he would. He expected her to talk. She did not want to talk. She wanted him to ask a question that she would answer with a simple yes or no. And then another, then another until he had all the answers he needed to sign off on her return to duty.

"Kate. Tell me about the shooting. What do you remember?"

She looks up thru her somewhat still pain filled eyes when she responds

"Very little actually! In fact I don't remember much for the last several months"

* * *

><p>Sitting down at her favorite table in Jan's coffee shop Kate sees her old coffee buddy. He looks at her and it is apparent he is happy she is there<p>

As Roger glances across the table to Beckett she smiles "Kate. I am so very glad you are back and I must say you look wonderful"

"Thanks Roger. It has been a rough three months"

"Has it been that long?"

"Yeah! Three long hard months, but I get to go to the station today. Check in with a new boss. A new captain has taken over the 12th. They say she is a tough nut"

"I'll bet you put her in her place quickly" Roger comments with a laugh in his voice

"Sure" Beckett responds

"Roger…can I…uh…ask you something?" She has a lot of hesitation in her voice

"Kate. What's wrong? You seem…I don't' know. You seem to have a lot of fear in her face"

"Did something happen to Castle? Or did I do something to him?"

"What are you asking, Kate?"

"I have flashes of memory for the last year. Most of them relate to Castle. But I can't seem to string memories together and make any sense out of it"

"Alright Kate. Maybe I can fill in some blanks for you"

Kate's face tells that she is happy that he might help her

"You and I had a lot of conversations about…him" He stops since he is not completely sure what questions she is wanting answered. Once again

Kate looks up from her coffee cup when she posses the next interrogation "Is Castle still together with his ex wife, Gina?"

"Still? What do you mean still?"

"She left with him and they went to the Hamptons together last spring. That is the last thing I have a memory about"

"If you are talking about his publisher with Black Pawn, Gina Crowell, I was on a plane with her back in May"

"So you do know her?" Beckett is obviously struck by this revelation.

"Just to say hello. My agent works with Black Pawn some and we have met socially.

She was with some guy and they seemed very lovey doveie. I talked to her for a minute. She said that she had just dropped off one of her writers at his vacation home and told him not to leave until he finished his next book. She said that she and her current man were heading for a romantic month in Paris"

Kate feels her heart jump into her throat

"So he did not spend the summer with her?" She asks Roger

"Not from what I saw. She had another guy"

"Roger. What did I do? I mean did I do something stupid…with a doctor?"

"Evidently while I was gone you did start dating someone but…I did try to stop you after I returned and you told me to mind my own business"

"Can I ask another question?"

"Did Castle propose to me?"

Roger chuckles "Yeah! He did"

She buries her head in her hands

"OH NO!"


	15. Chapter 15

**Previously on Castle**

**Kate is recovering from her gunshot to the chest. She does not remember anything from the last year except that** **her and Castle have become much closer. She has vague memories of key moments in their relationship but not ****enough to move forward**

**She is still afraid that she is not enough for the rich mystery writer and is trying to accept that he will still wait for her. However long it takes**

* * *

><p>Her mind has moved into full blown panic mode after the revelation just delivered by her coffee drinking buddy. Her morning friend just punched her in the heart with his answer.<p>

She always thought of herself as a decent person. A good person. A person who had morals and could always be trusted. She was sure that she would not have done anything as outrageous as accepting a marriage proposal especially while dating another man. And most certainly not from the writer

But this is an answer to a burning question that she had drifting around inside her head ever since she left the hospital. Maybe this should not have been the first gap she would try to fill, but it seemed the most important one at the time. At least in her desire to find someone who would fill the empty spaces between clarity and holes in her memory

How did her life just completely fall apart this way.

This question that had swirled inside her brain along with several others since her hospital discharge needed to be dealt with so she just threw this one out to see where it landed. It obviously landed clearly on her lap.

Katherine Beckett has just felt her stomach climb up to her mouth and she wants to do nothing but hurl its contents somewhere else.

Kate looks up at her coffee companion and sees a glint in his eyes and a tiny smile turned up on his lips.

"What?" she spits out at her friend

"Kate, you asked me if Castle proposed. Right?"

She shakes her head to the affirmative

"You didn't ask about the events surrounding him asking the question or how or why it was being raised to you or your response"

"Roger! What are you saying? It didn't happen? He didn't propose?"

His answer is surrounded by a little mirth in his voice "Kate! During the past year there were a lot of, shall we call them, 'Events' between you and Castle that one or both of you should have grabbed them and run to each other. As far as him 'popping the question'! It was not exactly a real proposal"

"OK Roger. I am confused more now than before"

"Kate. You have a lot of blank spaces in your memory, Right?"

"Yes"

"Let me fill them in for you. A little at a time"

"OK"

"Ask a question and I will tell you what I know but let's keep them focused"

"Roger…" she pauses briefly "was I faithful to Josh?"

"From what you told me…yes. But you were fighting feelings for your writer buddy all year. Ever since he came back form his writing sabbatical"

"That explains something"

"Explains what?" the older mentor asks

"In the hospital…I would see Josh and wanted nothing to do with him. But when Rick came in I got scared. I mean I saw him and there was something in his face that frightened me. Something I couldn't decipher. A wanting…in his eyes"

"So why are you scared of that with him?"

Kate plays around with her coffee cup. Twisting it and turning it around and around as if one side has a magic word for her.

"I don't know. I honestly think he is wanting more from me and I am afraid…" she halts in her answer

"Afraid of what Kate? Afraid to give in to him?"

"No Afraid that I might want it too"

She finally looks up at Roger and sees something there also. A look similar of that her own father has given her before. The look Jim Beckett puts on his face when his daughter talked about her partnership with the writer instead of talking about the man she was dating

"Why are you afraid Kate?"

"What if he just wants me for today? What if I am just a momentary distraction? What if I am just…"

"Kate stop" Her friend interrupts her verbal rampage

"That man has stood beside you for over three years. You have told me stories about what happens between the two of you both working together and how protective he has become when it comes to you"

"Roger it's complicated"

Beckett looks at her dad's watch. The very watch that Castle had fixed after her apartment was blown up

"I'm late! I need to get to the station. I have to check in and return to active duty"

She stands up and walks toward the door, her job, and maybe a new future

* * *

><p>Richard Castle had been on auto pilot today. Signing his book. Watching as copy after copy is presented to him and he places his signature without conscious thought as to whom the recipient is. Then it happens<p>

"Hello. What is your name?"

A soft gentle voice answers "Kate. You can make it out to Kate"

He is completely torn between hurt, anger, distrust, and finally the one strongest emotion he has ever felt toward another human being

Love.

* * *

><p>"CASTLE! WAIT!" are her words as he attempts to rush away from this woman. But he stops to reply<p>

"I did! Three months"

"I said I needed some time"

"You said a few days"

"I needed more"

"You should have said that"

She can see the pain in his face. She is also in pain only her pain is a combination of her feelings for this overgrown child and her lack of memories for the last year.

"I just needed to put some distance…"

Deep down inside her soul there is a part of her that wants to just grab him and try to fix whatever is broken. Another, stronger part is holding her back for fear of rejection. The only thing she is sure of is that their friendship is too important to allow it to wither and die.

He then says a sentence that grabs her heart and pulls it out to her chest "Josh help you with that?"

She is trying with all her might to not let on that she knows that even the very mention of the doctor will bring out all type of feelings. Feelings that she would just as soon forget about

"We broke up" and she walks away

* * *

><p>"So Roger, I told him that I broke up with Josh. That I really liked him but it was not enough. That I needed more" Kate is reliving the conversation in the park with her mentor and friend<p>

"So did you tell him how you truly feel about him?

"I don't know myself how I feel. He has injected himself into my life like no one has ever before. He feels like flypaper. Every time I try to shake him off one finger, he sticks to another, then another. I can not seem to get rid of him".

"Kate. Are you sure that you WANT to get him out of your life?"

She looks up at Roger like a lost child afraid of the answer that is circulating inside her brain

"He has been married twice. When I met him he was holding a Sharpie in one hand asking where I wanted his signature. I know where he was putting his autograph. He talked almost non stop about his sex life. How many women he had. It became tiring hearing about his escapades"

"How about your long line of men?"

"What do you mean? What men?"

"You told me about the FBI agent, then the robbery detective that you were going to go spend a weekend with instead of leaving with Castle, Kate, how many more?"

"Yeah but that's not the point. He left with his ex wife. They…" She stops when it hits her that Roger told Kate that Gina did not stay with Rick over the summer

"Kate. When Rick came back you were already dating the doctor"

Beckett ducks her head briefly "Yeah. I guess that had started. Didn't it?"

"Roger, if I was dating Josh up until I got shot, how is it that you said Castle proposed to me?"

The older man chuckles briefly then begins to fill in the story for the detective

"I think this would be a good place to start in helping you in filling in the blanks in your memory, don't you?"

"Yeah, I guess so"

"Do you remember when the first Nikki Heat book was being made into a movie?"

"Yeah"

"Do you remember who was signed on to play her?"

Kate's face shows her mind is trying to think about the actress. It suddenly hits Kate

"Natalie Rhodes. They signed Natalie Rhodes to play Nikki Heat…and she came down to shadow me for a while"

"Right. And do you remember what happened the day she arrived?"

Again Kate pauses as she processes the events from that day

"Kevin brought his engagement ring for Jenny and showed it to Rick. He told Ryan to use a helicopter ride and propose. I told them that a girl wanted something more intimate…"

Roger asks "Then what did Castle say?"

"He flashed the ring in my face and said 'What are you supposed to do? Just be boring and ask…Will you Marry Me?'"

Kate's face turns red

"Kate. You're blushing like you did the first time you told me about it"

She touches her cheek "I am?"

"You told me back then that you wanted to say yes"

"I did! Didn't I?"

Katherine Beckett has stood and is walking from the coffee shop. She does not look back at her friend because if she had she would have been shocked at an event that would make her question

EVERYTHING

Roger reaches into his pocket and pulls out an object that Kate knew in her heart he did not even own. A PDA

He quickly types a message, hits the send button and places the device back into his coat. The message was brief and to the point

"Moving Forward. Finally"


	16. Chapter 16

Dreams have never been an every night or even frequent event for Kate Beckett but the last several months have been full of scattered memories manifesting themselves in glimpses of occurrences of the last year mixed with more recent events. Many of the illusions of the mind have been nightmares but some have been pleasant.

Some of the memories become blurred in between actual current events of things happening at the very moment. Some just seem to creep into the forefront of the mind from somewhere deep inside. Sometimes inside the dream world

This Monday morning begins again with her sleep being broken in a harsh way. She is waking up to find her heart beating fast inside her chest.

In the recesses of her mind she just watched, once again, Castle's body leaning into the sexy insurance investigator. He has her pinned against the wall and his arms wrapped around this tall blond woman. She has her arms around his neck pulling his lips to hers in an attempt to meld into one flesh. The two of them were making out in a hotel hallway just outside her room getting ready to go inside to complete the night together.

Then the dream moves to another woman that he was making out with a year before. Beckett is watching a replay of her partner this time being pinned to the wall of the precinct elevator by the body of another woman. This body belongs to the actress that had been following Kate. She recalls how she actually felt a tinge of jealousy when it appeared that the Hollywood bimbo was putting the moves on the writer. He is 'Her' writer and not someone else's and now the top heavy woman that has dressed herself to look more like Kate and has decided she is going to score a few acting points by scoring herself a footnote with the writer of the story that she is planning to do a complete character change. She is planning to replace Kate with Natalie in Castle's life.

A voice in Beckett's head screams at her

"SEE he's still the playboy. You are nothing to him. Just get over him Kate"

Then Beckett sits straight up in a jolt and grabs her own chest as she tries to slow down her berating heart. Sweat is dripping down her face then after a couple of deep breaths she is able to stop the memories and return to current time

* * *

><p>"Morning Kate" Roger greets her with way too much happiness in his voice to suit her after what she just relived in her head<p>

She is alone at the table. This time she has not even ordered a drink and Kate just looks at her hands "Roger you promised to help me with what occurred last year"

"Yes if you asked me what I knew I would tell you but it had to be specific memories. I don't want to confuse you by just telling you what you told me about what happened from last year"

She takes a deep breath "…you told me that Castle had not been with Gina last year. In the Hamptons"

"That's right. She had a boyfriend. They went to Europe"

"I have a memory of him making out with Natalie Rhodes. In the station of all things"

Roger smiles at his own drink before speaking "Kate that did happen. You allowed Natalie to follow you around"

"OK I kind of remember her coming in to the station…" her comments trail off

"She…she started…" Kate trails off again

"She followed you to get a feel for the woman that Nikki Heat is based upon then she started acting like you, talking like you, and finally she dressed like you"

Kate looks directly at Roger "I remember that now" She looks off as if trying to recover a memory "She put the moves on Castle? Didn't she?"

"Yes she did and you were very upset over it. The morning after she left with Castle you were on a rampage telling me all about her activities" Roger answers Kate's question "But do you remember what Natalie asked you about Mr. Castle that morning?"

Kate's eyes scan the lower area of the table as her brain tries to pull information about the event "She asked…if…" She stops briefly then her synapses begin to click in "She asked if Castle was gay?"

Kate's voice is almost giddy "She said that he refused to sleep with her and Natalie asked if Rick and I were a couple but sworn to secrecy?"

"That's right Kate. Everyone in the station. Every person you two have ever interacted with immediately thought you two were together. Why was that?"

She drops her head and begins staring at her own fingers that are now folded on the table top

"Roger…it's complicated"

"Kate! Look at me" The older man says with firmness in his voice

He gets to see her deep hazel eyes peek from below her lashes

"You better decide to close this gap soon or I am afraid that he may give up on you and I know you don't really want that and I will assure you that from the things that happened over the last few years that you told me about, he doesn't want that either"

* * *

><p>Kate Beckett and her two protégés and fellow detectives are up to their necks in paperwork. Of course Castle is no where to be found. Paperwork was like a disease to him. Mention it and he went into quarantine<p>

Castle had told her yesterday that he had to go with Martha to the bank to try and secure a loan for her acting studio. It needed some serious upgrades and she simply did not have the ready cash to handle that so he promised to introduce her to the bank manager.

When Beckett's phone rings she immediately sees the face of the writer appear and a smile creeps onto her face. She has not realized that he is doing this to her now. It just seems that their relationship has moved a step or two in the right direction

"Hey Castle" are her first words directed to her favorite writer, but his response catches her totally off guard

"Tell me you need me" He says firmly

She barely chokes out her nest statement "Excuse me?"

"I am at the bank with my mother trying to get a loan. I was hoping you had a case"

"Sorry just boring paperwork but you can come help"

But their fun banter swiftly dices down into panic when he announces the bank is being robbed and starts describing the perpetrators

Kate Beckett's morning spirals down quickly as she finds herself inside the NYPD Command Van with the negotiating team working to calm the situation involving a man that Kate is quickly realizing she need to be OK. No not just OK but great. Safe. Alive

But her hopes are bashed by the thunder and concussion of the explosion marking the end of the stand off.

Her heart is racing faster than her mind. She can see his body strewn all over the bank lobby. She sees blood and human remains scattered to the four corners of the room. She makes sure she is inside immediately behind the SWAT team.

When she hears his voice answering her call it is like a weight has been lifted from her. She dashes directly to him. Not bothering to concern herself about anyone else, she gently touches his collar and smiles into his face. She is positive he must see the relief she is experiencing at this moment

The evening spent with the entire Castle family warms her insides. Sitting at the table with the other three she begins to wonder if there is any possibility that this could be the start of a more regular meeting including herself.

The night ends when the other two women excuse themselves to call it a night, leaving just the man and woman alone in the living room of the loft. They are just sitting talking about one thing then another. The conversation is not actually going anywhere

"Castle! I…I thought…when I heard the blast I thought I had I mean I thought you and Martha were killed"

"Kate. While we were being tied up and lead to the vault I knew that you would come to the rescue I had total faith in you being there for me…for us"

Richard Castle's eyes are locked on her eyes She sees something in his face that reminds her of another time but she is not able to bring out any details. He has look of someone wanting more from her and she feels herself becoming afraid again

"It's late. I need to go" Beckett says verbally but her heart wants to say something else. She is not sure what it would be

She stands up and takes her jacket from the coat rack. She looks back and sees Rick has stood and is walking toward her and he speaks one word

"Kate"

She takes the handle of the loft door and pulls it open "Goodnight Castle" and she steps out into the hallway. She leans back into the door and closes her eyes. Déjà vu rushes thru her head and she knows that she has lived this event before and as before it ended with her walking away

Afraid!

* * *

><p>She is seeing flashes of a bomb. A countdown timer and a 'Radioactive' symbol. She also feels a hand holding hers. She looks over and she has taken Rick's hands into her own and speaks the almost silent word "Castle"<p>

In a cold sweat she bolts straight up in bed

* * *

><p>"Roger you better have a good explanation for what I remember"<p>

"Alright Kate. Tell me what you remember"

"Me and Castle huddled together holding each other, A bomb In a Van. Him pulling all the wires and…" she halts in her description

"And what Kate?"

"Castle and me holding each other like there is no tomorrow".

"There was almost no tomorrow for the two of you. Rick disarmed the bomb with less than one second left. You two were caught up in the emotions of the moment"

She thinks for just a minute "Roger if Rick and I were supposed to be together why it didn't happen here?"

"Your boyfriend showed up"

"OH!"

* * *

><p><strong>I wonder how Roger know so many details about a classified event?<strong>


	17. Chapter 17

"Rick Castle at a loss for words?"

"Sophia Turner" Richard Castle says as the ravishingly beautiful woman steps up to the pair

Kate Beckett finds herself standing between her partner and this Woman trying to absorb the events surrounding her at this time.

"How do you know her?" Beckett asks

"It's a long story"

"I'll take the short version" Kate snipes out

"Let me help with that" The tall leggy woman says as she steps into the room carrying two cusp of coffee. Kate looks at this woman's hands as she passes one cup to Castle then seems relieved when the second is placed into her own palm

"We met while he was doing research for Derrick Storm" Turner is trying to fill in some blanks

"You're Clara Strike? THE Clara Strike form the Derrick Storm books?" Kate says with an obvious air of distaste

"I wouldn't say I WAS Clara Strike but I want to think I inspired Rick in some way"

One of the things going on inside Beckett this moment is a major pang of jealously. She doesn't know why she feels this way but it just keeps growing with every word spoken.

"Well that's just fascinating" Kate chokes out her statement through clenched teeth

There is one thing Beckett is positive about now. She is definitely jealous of this woman

"How long has it been Rick" She asks Castle "Ten years?

"Eleven and a half" Castle seems to know the EXACT time

Those words have raised Kate's jealousy by a factor of at least a thousand and she can feel her blood pressure rise with every word this hauntingly beautiful woman speaks along with his apparent knowledge of her.

Every innuendo she lets out. Every flash from her eyes. Every sway from her body brings Kate to the point that she just wants to tell this CIA agent the she is his current Muse and that she is planting her flag on the writer

* * *

><p>"Then she had our victim's body taken from the morgue and then after we located the scientist who was hired to help resolve global problems without using force, she had his body taken too. That's when I asked if they had slept together and he said yes, then I called her his girlfriend in front of his daughter that was a mistake on my part then…"<p>

Roger is trying to keep up with Kate's story but she is running so fast and furious that he is not exactly sure what part of her tale is the cop doing a great job in her investigation of getting the bad guy and what part of this tale is Kate Beckett being jealous of another woman in Richard Castle's life

"So she was a really double agent. She had been serving the old Soviet Union while still working for the CIA. She was trying to cause the failure of our nation. The collapse of our monetary system. The collapse of the United States…And for what...Money?... Someone was going to pay her a lot of money to make this happen…and then she took us to a basement and told him his father was in the CIA…and pointed a gun at Castle's head and was going to kill us both when this other agent came in and shot her…"

"Kate…Kate" Roger is trying to slow Beckett down in her detailed description of the events of the last few days

"What?" She finally stops

"I get it. You wanted him all to yourself and this other suitor was close by"

No! No that's not the point…"

"What is the point Kate? All you have done today is talk about this other woman and how Castle knew her from the past and how close they had been. It sound like she is the central focus of your conversation today"

"I guess I was a little taken back when I discovered he had followed another woman around for research,. That's all"

"Kate Why has your and Castle's closeness become such an issue now?"

"After the events with…the government agent…I had a flash of a memory"

"What memory?"

"Castle and I got involved with some government contractors or mercenaries, or CIA. I'm not real sure who they were but had to do with my mother's murder someway"

"What DO you remember?"

"This guy, Lockwood, captured Ryan and Esposito and were torturing them when Castle and I went to rescue them. Rick came up with a bright idea of distracting the guard by pretending to be drunk. Well it wasn't working and before I could pull my gun, he grabbed me…put his hand on my neck…pulled me close…and…" She is reliving the event in clear detail

"What do you remember Kate?"

She looks up at Roger "He kissed me. He pulled me in and kissed me"

"The first time you told me the story you said a lot more happened. Do you remember what happened after that?"

"No" She answers softly

"You kissed him back"

"Oh"

"Yes you did kiss him back and from what you told me, you enjoyed it"

"I did! Didn't I?"

Roger does not respond just looks at Kate waiting for her to absorb all the information. When she finally accepts what was just said, she decides to tackle another subject

"Roger. Do you know why I didn't feel guilty doing that or why I wanted to go back into the living room of that LA hotel and just grab Castle and throw all caution to the wind?"

"Believe it or not, it had to do with your mother"

"My mother? How does it have anything to do with her?"

"You told me that early last year Castle set up a scholarship in honor of your mother"

"OK I think I remember"

"You said she held a fancy dress ball in her honor to raise money to fund the scholarship"

"Right! I remember that" She smiles at the fact that this truly took place and she is beginning to remember

"Kate. You, along with Josh your boyfriend, were to be the honored guests for this party"

Kate suddenly looks down at the table "He stood me up"

"Sort of" Roger responds

"No! He stood me up on purpose. After promising faithfully to be there for me, in memory of my mother, he deliberately took an assignment to go on a doctor's without borders trip. He knew how important this was to me and just before the date, he found out Castle had organized the event and he went ballistic"

Roger just sits and lets Kate resolve the event in her own mind

She looks up at her coffee buddy "That is when I decided he and I were on a short list when it came to our relationship. I was not so important to him"

"Not like you were important to Mr. Castle"

"Roger, do you realty think so? I can see things now. I knew I felt something last year, but now I see it with perfect clarity. If he feels the same that I do then I want to do something about it"

"Kate, what are you going to do?"

"Try to find out if he still feels the same and then find a way to fix that gap between us"

Katherine Beckett stands up and with a smile on her face tells her coffee companion "It will be great!"

As she walks out the door Roger speaks under his breath just to himself 'So that's what happened to Sophia Turner?'

* * *

><p><strong>We are close to finishing this one<strong>


	18. Chapter 18

Another morning at the coffee shop, another cup of her morning brew, another chance to visit with a man who has become her confidant, her surrogate grandfather, her pal,

Her friend

And the man who is trying to help her regain her memories and especially pull out her repressed feelings. Her feelings for the writer who simply refused to "Stay Out of my private Life" as she put it

"Hey Kate" Roger starts up. "You realize we are going to have to stop meeting like this?"

She honestly has a fear in her eyes "Why?" She asks

"You have this new boyfriend and he might get jealous" Roger jokingly responds

"He is NOT my boyfriend. He is my partner…And my friend?"

"Kate, when are you going to give into these feelings you obviously have for him?"

"It's complicated"

The older man looks at her with real sincerity "Kate…Stop running"

"I'm not running…" She looks out the front windows "am I?"

"Like a 26.2 mile marathon runner. And right now you are in first place getting ready to cross the finish line"

Then after a moment's pause Roger finishes his statement

"ALONE"

* * *

><p>Kate Beckett has decided that today is the day she will broach a subject that she has avoided for the last three, almost four years. The subject of this relationship between her and the writer. This ever present writer that has been her almost constant companion. She knows that she wants more. So much more but she is afraid that her feelings might really be one sided.<p>

But Roger has told her repeatedly that she needs to not worry about the writer's inner feelings for her. Roger seems positive that she has nothing to worry about

She sends Castle a text message that she will pick him up this morning. Her plans are to take him to Jan's Java Joynt and buy him a coffee this time. She will then tell Castle how she wants to be more than partners at work and hope he wants something too.

Her nerves are on fire as she pulls up to the front of the loft. The front door opens and the ever smiling man child turns and tells the door man bye and he quickly rushes down the steps. She can hardly wait to say the words to him.

The moment he opens the door to her cruiser he speaks in his usual cheery tome "Good morning Detective"

"Hey" she responds with an added smile

Castle closes the door and immediately straps into his seat belt and Beckett pulls away from the cub

"So Beckett, what prompted this?"

"What?" Kate has a little fear in her tone

"The curb service. Picking me up and telling me that we needed to talk about something"

"Oh, I thought that after all these years that I owed you about a hundred coffees and I would try to start paying you back"

Castle looks out the side window before making his next comment "Kate I….I. wanted to talk to you too"

"Really? About what?" she asks

Just as Rick takes in a deep breath preparing to start there is a shrill tone from her police radio

"What is that?" Castle had never heard that occur before

"It's a city wide broadcast. Something really bad has happened"

Kate reaches over and turns the volume up on her radio as the voice of the dispatcher comes on announcing that there has been a bombing at Borland Plaza. He directs all officers from, nearby stations to respond and the 12th precinct units to proceed code 3

Detective Beckett kicks in as she turns on her emergency lights and siren and she starts moving quickly thru traffic

* * *

><p>The explosion was felt in a large section of New York City. Several citizens immediately looked up at high rise buildings surrounding the entire area. Afraid that another terrorist plane had been flown into a skyscraper.<p>

But today the devastation is at ground level.

In a plaza of all places. A plaza where families should be able to go and relax. A plaza where children should be able to play and have fun. A plaza where couples should be able to just sit together, have dinner, and talk about their future lives, but not today

Today a small group of protestors have taken over the area and gathered to voice their feelings about business and profits when the blast occurs

Bodies fly thru the air!

Wounds!

Screams!

The victims are everywhere.

The police have a place to start this time. They have something better than just witness statements. The blast is recorded on video as an on the street news reporter was doing a live report from Borland Plaza.

The debris field covers the better part of an acre. Bodies and injured survivors cover the landscape. Chios extends past the blast area. Emergency services have cordoned off the immediate area and Federal Agents are in command of the incident

When Detective Kate Beckett and her ever present follower arrive they are very sullen. Both are truly taken back by this crime scene

The police are told where they can meet and the duo join their coworkers for direction from the captain then move back to their precinct to start their investigation

They begin their job. Interviewing the victims. Witnesses are questioned. Information gathered. Facts documented. Reports compiled

Emotions of the first responders are taken to new heights. Especially the emotions of these two partners, co-workers, friends who now finding themselves drawing closer to one another. They are both feeling the pull created by the void caused in a loss of this magnitude.

As they travel back to the station each one is silent closed inside their own world. The world where the events of today weigh heavily on both of them

As Rick and Kate stand in the next room away from the interview areas watching the other officers question the witnesses about where they were, what they saw, what they heard each one attempts to begin a conversation. Only to be blocked by the memories of the event itself

Looking at her partner and friend and…. Kate sees his emotions building equal to her own. This feels that the time for her to close the gap that exists between her and him is now

"Are you OK" Kate asks her partner

"Yeah…It's just this case"

"No one seems to have been targeted"

Most of our victims die for a reason. A twisted reason" He states. It is obvious that the current situation is weighing heavily on him

"All their future all just gone in a flash" He continues

"Makes you think about all the things in your own life that you don't want to put off anymore" Her voice strained

Esposito sticks his head into the room and interrupts a conversation that should have been allowed to finish "The Captain is gathering the troops"

The investigation goes very little as the day progresses. Unknown to Kate, Rick has had a defining conversation with his mother at home when he took his much too young daughter there.

When he arrives back at the station he moves directly to Kate's desk and…

"You got a minute?" He asks almost as if he expects to be told no

"Sure" She responds with a little gladness in her voice

He pulls in a deep breath. Much deeper than should be needed for a conversation. Having this beautiful woman sitting across is not helping him in his desire to form words and tell her how he feels

"I've been thinking…about the victims…and all the opportunities they will never have… and I don't want that to happen to us…and I…"

And then what has transpired so many times between these two breaks the path of the conversation as Ryan steps up. "Hey! We got something"

Kate looks at Rick as he responds "That's OK. It will wait until after the case"

* * *

><p>The new day finds Kate Beckett sitting at the tall table in the corner where so many of her confessions and AH! HA! Moments have occurred. Roger notices that, again, she has no coffee in front of her, so when he orders his plain black morning brew, he also orders a Grande skim latte and then he adds two pumps of sugar free vanilla. Once his order is prepared she takes the two cups and places one in front of the brunette and his at his spot<p>

"Good morning detective" he says with a much too sweet tone in his voice

"Really?" she says without even looking up

"What?"

"You sound like Castle did a few years ago after he…" she stops in her comment "Never mind"

"What's wrong Kate?"

She shakes her head

"Don't shake your head at me. Something is wrong. And from how you look seriously wrong"

"I was interviewing a suspect in the Borland Plaza bombing case. He claimed he didn't do it but he was there. He said he couldn't remember anything. I was questioning him and he claimed that he did not remember the explosion. He said it was the trauma of the blast that kept him from remembering. I really wanted answers for all these innocent victims and I got really mad at him. I got in his face and I said 'You want to know trauma, I was shot in the chest and I…"

Kate stops in her story just like she did in the interrogation room,

"I remember every moment of it…" she finishes

Beckett finally looks up at Roger "It all came back. At that very moment it all came back. I remember everything now"

"Remember what?"

"Everything! I remember everything from my shooting. Everything from this last year. Montgomery being shot, I remember being in that LA hotel room with Castle…I remember us kissing in that alley and…"

"And what Kate?"

She picks up her drink and takes a tiny sip then places it back on the table

"When I was shot he was on top of me, holding me, protecting me. He begged me not to leave him and then he said it…" she looks up to Roger and he can see sheen in her eyes. Tears are trying to fall "he said it"

"He said he loved me. After all this time…after all the things I did to him…he said he loved me"

"And what does this mean to you Kate?" the older man asks her

"It means we have a chance"

"Don't you dare run now girl. you know how he feels about you. Now GO tell him you remember and… "

"I am. That is exactly what I am going to go do" She looks at Roger "Thank you"

"For what?"

"Just being here. Listening to me rant. Telling me to not be afraid of my future"

"Always"


	19. Chapter 19

**This has to be my longest chapter ever.**

* * *

><p>Once she arrives at the precinct and is sitting at her desk, Detective Beckett looks immediately over to the chair that has been the home for her partner and best friend and the 'One by Her Side' for the last several years. She immediately realizes that Roger is right. Castle has been a lot more than just her partner for a very long time. She now remembers his confession that wants to be way more than just a friend and now she wants this with him. That more than just a friend thing<p>

So today she is going to just take him aside and tell him that she is ready. No! Not just ready. More than ready. And not just tell him. Show that she is ready to just dive into it together, with him

The sound of the elevator bell and the aroma of his morning coffee reach her senses. He steps up beside her but instead of having a cup for her he continues to holds a lone coffee in his hand

"Good morning detective. How are you today?" He asks with an air of formal pleasantry dripping from his every word. From the tone, it sounds like he is in no mood for a fun conversation

She takes a deep breath, places her pen down on the desk. She folds her hands together intertwining her fingers into one another and turns slightly in the chair to face him. When she closes her eyes, she can see from behind her eyelids his face and the smile that is always present for her early each and every day.

It's just not there today

After opening her eyes she starts up "Castle can we talk?" She struggles to speak these words to him as she looks into his now sullen face

He folds his own hands into his lap "Sure. What is it?" His voice is still even and smooth. She knows he has no idea what she is about to drop on him. What she doesn't know is he believes she is ready to tell him that he has spent enough time bothering her and he needs to move on.

She has no idea that when she told the suspect that 'I was shot in the chest and I remember every second of it' Castle heard her statement

She has no idea that in his mind the thinks she knew all along that he loved her and she was embarrassed because she didn't feel the same way about him. She was just protecting the friendship. Keeping him at arms length. Castle did not know that it was at that exact instant that all of her memories came back and she is excided to be able to move into a real relationship with him. Finally!

"Castle…I…uh…I want to talk to you about something…Something very important"

"OK" he responds not really wanting to hear her tell him goodbye but he has braced himself for this final conversation with her

Then, before she can complete the next word of her confession, the voice of Javier Esposito crashes over her ears "Beckett! We got a good one. Man ran over in an alley by a van. Witness said he stood in front of the van shooting at it until he was struck and killed"

Rick looks back at Kate to see if she wants to finish her statement "It's OK. It will wait until after the case" She says but not because that is what she really wants to have happen. She actually wants it all out in the open

At the scene they recover a Sig with custom grip and weight compensated made for a specific person. A special made gun to fit the owners hand perfectly. This is something not bought at the neighborhood gun shop. This is a weapon bought for a serious shooter

Security cameras provide the proof needed to determine a young college student as been taken and they are able to track her down and determine she is the daughter of a foreign national

At the precinct they are meeting with the parents of the abducted girl. The FBI has been called in and Rick and Kate are trying to be as supportive to the parents as humanly possible

"I can't imagine how I would feel if that were Alexis that was kidnapped" Rick comments "They must be imagining the worst possible scenarios"

A part of the writer is pleased having this final case. At least this way the partnership will be breaking up on a high note. A really good chapter to close the book on Katherine Beckett.

* * *

><p>When the team of writer and cop interview the manager at the hotel where the conference was held, Castle discovers his worst fears have been manifested into reality.<p>

Alexis was also taken in the abduction.

The ransom call comes to the family of the other girl. It appears the kidnapping is the result of her father's involvement with certain government officials not necessarily liked in his home country

The ransom payments are made and the girl released.

BUT Alexis is not released with the other girl

Every possible horrible event is pictured in his mind. First, the woman he truly loves is planning to tell him goodbye and now his daughter is in the hands of some terrorist. Richard Castle's mystery writer mind is playing out so many outcomes for this. None of them are good

As Kate and Rick meet with the FBI agent about Alexis Castle's fear for his daughter's safety is all over his face. He tells the FBI he wants the truth. He does not want to be handled. He agrees to have the bureau set up a Trap and Trace on his home phone. The supervising agent leaves the conference room to get the work started

As Castle stands up he pushes the chair back under the table then turns toward Beckett. He wants to say something to her but he cannot seem to form any words in his head right now. He knows it the situation between the two of them were different, this would be much easier, but it is not

Then Kate Beckett does something that takes Richard Castle totally off guard. She steps up to him. She places her arms completely around his torso pulling him in tight, lays her head on his shoulder, then whispers to him

"Castle, we will get her back. I promise"

Inside Richard Castle, his emotions are running in circles. First and foremost is his fear for the safety of his daughter. Secondly he is being overwhelmed by the feelings caused by Beckett's sudden show of affection. A physical show that he has never witnessed from her and a completely wrong assumption on his part that this marks some type of change between them. He has to fight with all of his will power to not just grab her and hold on for dear life. But he knows this would be assuming she wanted him to.

"Gates will think that something is going on between us"

"I don't care anymore" Beckett responds in a breathy whisper.

Castle leaves the station to go home and tell his mother that her grand daughter is still missing. Kate was hoping that she would have been able to move forward in their relationship but for the moment Alexis is a much more important subject.

After a brief conversation with Esposito about Rick's emotional status, Kate decides that she will go to the loft and keep Castle company. This way she might be able to show him her real feelings. Not just tell him how she feels, but show it to him. Clearly!

Immediately on her arrival, Martha invited Kate in but as his mother is looking behind Beckett for her son, Kate is looking behind his mother. The conversation quickly comes around to

"Where is Castle?"

Both women determine very quickly that the man in question has pulled a disappearing act and is no where to be found. At least no where locally.

Martha calls his cell phone only to discover that he has gone to Paris to find his little girl

After a brief but intense conversation between mother and son about the foolishness of his actions, Beckett decides that she best leave the older woman to deal with the always stubborn son.

But as Beckett tries to leave Martha speaks up "Katherine! Could you possibly stay with me? I have the spare room and I really don't want to be here alone right now"

Beckett quickly decides that the better choice is to stay with Martha "Let me go to my car and get my 'Go Bag' and I will be right back up"

Beckett goes to her cruiser and retrieves a small packed bag that she always has close by just in case she needs a change of clothes or has to go out of town at a moment's notice.

She settles into the spare bedroom for the night but not until she notifies her two detective partners to the current situation. After preparing herself for bed, the detective quickly realizes that sleep will not be happening tonight.

* * *

><p>Kate is at her desk with serious fear passing completely thru her system now. Her partner is in danger. Danger such as he has never encountered before.<p>

In the past he was good at committing his silly stunts that sometimes helps and sometimes hurt the situation. Today though he is in peril as he has never experienced before

Today she is not sure which way this is going to go. He has traveled to the opposite side of the Earth to get his daughter back. He is the poster boy for going rogue and today is no exception. She wishes she had known in advance of his plan because she would have been on the plane with him. That's what partners do. Especially partner's like them

Esposito steps up to her desk "Beckett, we picked up Henson's girlfriend. She is in interrogation room 1

Beckett calmly walks into the room and closes the door.

"Ms. DeGamo, what can you tell me about Roger Henson's murder?"

The interrogation quickly spirals down as the woman refuses to answer and demands to talk to a lawyer. Without considering the implications of her actions, Kate Beckett kicks the woman's chair out from under her causing the witness to land sharply on the floor. Immediately jumping to the floor Beckett gets into the woman's face

"MY PARTNER'S DAUGHTER IS MISSING"

She slings the file at the woman

"AND YOU ARE IN MY WAY"

The witness decides that giving up the information is more advisable that losing some important body part.

After going to the suspect's apartment and retrieving a computer hard drive. While waiting for tech to recover the information on the drive, Kate is sitting patiently at her desk waiting to hear from Castle so she can have an important conversation with this man.

She is at her desk staring off at His chair. It appears there are tears trying to escape from her eyes. But not today! She is not going to let her emotions take over her investigation! She is determined to not go down that path that her heart wants her to take!

Her determination is fixed until the moment her phone rings and the caller id says 'Castle' She slides the answer icon and watches as his face grows to fully cover her screen

"Hey Castle"

"Beckett, it's me"

The voice of the writer is all it takes for her to break down. She is glad he is not there to see what is happening

"Beckett, I think I found her."

"Castle! How? She chokes out

"I know a guy"

"What guy?"

"Don't worry about that, Beckett, just to know he is someone I trust. A man who connected me with a merc. He has talked to the people holding Alexis and we are going there soon to get her back"

"Rick?" She pauses "Be careful. Please!" her voice is filled with emotion unlike anything Castle has ever heard

"I will. Kate what's wrong?" Castle waits for an answer "You sound like you have been crying"

There is another moment of silence on the phone

"Kate?" he says her name again

"Rick…I need to tell you something" Her usage of his first name and the tone of her voice does not go unnoticed

"Kate, what's wrong. Did something happen to my mother? Are you OK?"

"She's fine. I'm fine…or I will be fine when you come home"

"Beckett! What's going on? I can tell that there is something happening there. What is it? What are you not telling me?"

Kate Beckett takes a deep breath "What I'm...not telling you…I'm…"

"KATE! What is it? Castle almost screams into the phone

"Rick, I remembered what you said in the cemetery. When I was shot. I heard what you said"

He feels his heart drop down to his stomach. The hitch in his voice is now evident. He thinks she has just told him that she has known he loves her and she confirms that she does not feel the same. So she just wants him to know this in case this rescue goes badly

"Alright Beckett. I understand. But why did you think that you needed to tell me this today of all days. Couldn't you wait until I get home later to tell me that my feelings for you are unrequited?"

That is the moment that her heart takes over

"WHAT? What? No Rick! That is not what I am saying! What I'm trying to say is…"

"Beckett! Listen I can not have this conversation right now. I need to find Alexis and get her back. So if there is nothing else, I need to go now…"

"RICK! I LOVE YOU TOO!" Beckett finally blurts the words out very loudly. Loud enough to have been heard by anyone on the 4th floor of the precinct. Fortunately the floor is empty. Kate looks around and she is alone

This statement brings silence from the other side of the phone

"Rick? Are you still there?" Beckett speaks so quietly

Much softer words come from the other side of the world "Kate? We must have a really, really bad connection. I am not sure I heard you right. Can you repeat what you just said?"

"I said I am in love with you. I love you Richard Castle and have for a long time" She responds with so much emotion in her voice

"If this is a bad connection I don't want anyone to fix it"

"Good" she whispers almost as a prayer

"So I guess we do have some things to work out when I get home?"

"That's why I need you home safe. I have a lot to tell you. I have a lot I want to show you. I have a lot of time I want to spend with you discussing this…and catching up"

"Kate, I will be home safe and we WILL continue this conversation. I promise"

"Good" she responds "hurry home. Please?"

"Richard Castle is sitting in the dark dingy basement waiting for the next move in the return of his daughter but his heart is in the 12th back in New York.

His thoughts about Kate are broken by the return of his hired mercenary. The man tells Castle that he has arranged for the exchange of his daughter for a large cash payment. What Richard Castle does not know is the entire plot surrounded his little girl and she was the target of the kidnapping. It was all staged to get Castle to Paris and use the ploy to draw Rick's father out of his safe hiding place

As he is standing in the woods surrounded by dead men including the man Richard Castle thought was helping a tall, older man with a beard and white hair appears from nowhere.

"Get in" Pointing at the car

"I am not going anywhere with you. You are going to kill me"

"If I was going to kill you, you would already be dead. Now get into the car" The older man says firmly

Just than moment Castle's phone rings and Beckett's face appears

"Kate" Rick says with panic in his voice

"Rick listen! Alexis was the target! Alexis was the target!" Beckett says firmly

But before Castle can respond the other man grabs the phone from Castle's hand, throws it into the air and with a single blast from his rifle blows the phone into tiny pieces of electronic scrap

After a well planned rescue involving an exploding handie-talkie and well executed deception Richard and Alexis Castle are safely on their way home

* * *

><p>In a second floor SoHo loft is one very impatient mother and one equally excited brunette homicide detective.<p>

Kate Beckett returned to the loft the moment she was advised by the State Department that the two wayfarers were on an unscheduled airplane en route back to the United States.

In the comfortable chairs of a Private Jet somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean, a father and his daughter are holding one another closely. They have spoken very little about the events leading up to her rescue.

He had told her that a lot of what did occur was classified and for once his theory of spies and covert operatives came true.

"Dad…what's on your mind" Alexis asks her father

He looks down to this little red headed blessing in his life "I am just so very happy you are safe and we are heading home"

"No dad. There is something else going on with you"

"What do you mean pumpkin?"

"OH I don't know. There is something in your face. You need to remember that I am your little girl and I have seen you happy, sad, mad and everywhere in between"

"OK then I am happy. Happy to have you safe"

The girls looks at her father and smiles "no dad, there is something else. I see the look you have at Christmas"

"Christmas? What look at Christmas?"

"The look you have on Christmas morning when you come down to the tree and start looking around the presents that grams and I got for you. Looking for a present you did not think you were going to get. The look when you are hoping we bought you that something special you wanted but never told us. Something that you wanted really bad."

Richard Castle smiles at the little girl and thinks 'This is one very sharp kid' if she is reading my thoughts like that

"Let's just say I already know what it is but I am just hoping it IS there" He pulls her head to his shoulder. In a very few minutes both the Castle's are asleep

After they were advised that the diplomatic flight has landed, Martha orders breakfast delivered from a neighborhood deli.

The two women are patently waiting when the front door wildly flies open and the young red head rushes past her much taller father still standing in the entry way. The grandmother wraps the girl into a bear hug.

Kate Beckett rushes up to the man almost knocking him down.

His heart is breaking and he is looking into her eyes as the tall beautiful woman, who has held his heart for so many years reaches up to his face and firmly places her lips into contract with his. This is all it takes to bring a moan from deep inside both of them

Martha and Alexis both turn toward the door when the sounds coming from that portion of the loft become quite loud

"Well Katherine I didn't know that having Richard back was THAT important" Martha says using her best Broadway Diva voice

Kate pulls back and tries desperately to hide the redness starting on the tip of her wears and traveling all the way down to her collar

Alexis is smiling at her father "Early Christmas present?"

He is looking directly into Kate's eyes as he responds "Early Christmas Present!"

He whispers into Kate's ear "It's a long story" Then turning to Alexis "Yes! And the best present I have ever had"

Kate lifts up on her tiptoes and brings her lips to his ear kissing the lobe on the way, causing him to shiver, then she whispers "I can't wait for you to unwrap it so you can see what it is"

* * *

><p><strong>For all those wanting Casket<strong>


	20. Chapter 20

The sunshine peeking thru the window shades announce the beginning of a new day. Another new day in the new life of Katherine Beckett. A new life she once thought would never happen for her or more accurately 'Could Never' happen. There was no pathway in front of her that would bring her here, to this place, so she never considered this was ever even a possibility.

She knew that she was destined to be a Police Officer, a Cop, a Detective and ALONE. Or if not alone then probably with a man that she didn't love. That was to be her lot in life after her mother died. She saw herself forever chasing the shrouded ghosts who killed her mother but she would never see the face behind the mask. Just the fleeting glimpse of the killer

Then the writer showed up. He came into her life like the flamboyant playboy the papers described but he was really different from that. She saw something in him that she wished she could have.

A child like love for life.

An innocent perspective of the world

A belief in magic

The ability and resources to make that magic happen

And an anticipation in him when waiting for Christmas to come

These last few days he has been acting like Christmas just came early for him.

Now Kate Becket is beginning to believe in the magic of Christmas herself and she feels the tree was stuffed of every great gift she could possibly want

She hears the door open and her senses are flooded with the aroma of fresh ground coffee, fried bacon and waffles. She turns over in the way over stuffed mattress and grabs the gown from the floor that she placed there just for emergencies. Emergencies such as if the house caught fire and she had to escape, she wanted to have something to wear other than the smile that has been glued to her face the last three days

"Good morning beautiful" Castle says as he places the tray carefully onto her lap.

Kate almost giggles as she looks at they tray of food he just brought in "You are trying to make me fat?"

He gently slides himself in next to her and props himself up with pillows then reaches to the plate and takes a piece of bacon. Then tearing it in half puts on piece between his teeth and he leans in as if he is going to kiss her, offering the piece of bacon instead

She does take the offered piece of breakfast protein and smiles back at the man

"With the level of aerobic workouts we are getting lately, I don't think caloric intake is a problem" he says

She pokes his arm "Hush"

"You don't like how we are burning calories?"

She looks across the bed to her partner and with the sultriest voice he has ever heard from a woman responds "I love our exercise program"

Castle is finding it difficult feeding himself. He can't seem to take his eyes off of Kate as he is trying to place food on his fork. He looks like an actor in a comedy movie scrapping the fork across the plate, missing every morsel of food then placing an empty fork into his mouth

Smiling, Kate takes a napkin from the tray and touches it to his mouth pretending to brush away a crumb "You are adorable" she says as her fingers touch his chin

"You know we might need to find the time to have the talk. The talk I was planning on before Alexis was taken"

"Kate after we admitted that we love each other, I don't have any more words to say. I am supposed to be a wordsmith and I have completely run out. You are the most important thing I have ever had in my life. You are…"

She places her fingers to his lips to stop his rambling. She then takes the tray and places it on the bedside table

He tries once again to speak but before he can say another word he finds his mouth filled with a piece of toast

"I assume that you don't want any more breakfast?" He mumbles thru the bread

"I think I want something else now"

Castle is caught up in her eyes as he feels her hand reach up to his neck then moves up to his ears and gently rubs his lobes

"What…what are we doing"?

"After this breakfast, I think we need some more exercise. Don't you?"

* * *

><p>Early afternoon finds Kate sitting on the patio looking out to the ocean. She can hear the sound of the waves gently brushing the shore not a hundred yards from her current position. The call of the birds as they seek food from the Atlantic seem so close<p>

The sliding door opens and she can feel the presence of the man who has done everything possible for her over the last three days. She looks to the table at her side to see a tray of fruit and some cheese along with some crackers being placed there

"I thought a lite lunch was in order"

"Looks nice, Castle" she can feel the love this man has for her in everything he has done.

The love that her coffee shop mentor told her existed for several years but she avoided, is now right here beside her

"I thought we would go out to a nice place tonight for dinner since your days off the captain gave you are over and we have to go back to the city tomorrow" there is sadness in his voice

"I have to go back to work Rick. You don't. You could stay here"

"Not without you Kate. After all the things we have been through to get here, I am NOT letting you out of my sight. I'm afraid this is some evil plan from the galaxy and if I let you leave me you will never be back"

She places her water glass down on the table and looks out to the ocean before she speaks

"So this is what I missed when you invited me here a couple of years ago?

"The view yes. Everything else No"

Kate gets a questioning look on her face with his words "NO?"

"Kate when I invited you here I honestly had no evil motives. It honestly was just for you to relax"

"You would not have tried any moves on me then?"

Castle looks across the deck to the water "Kate I had decided I wanted a relationship with you. I wanted a REAL relationship and I think that this has actually become better"

She looks away again "I heard you left with Gina that day" She threw it out to see his response

"Yeah! LEFT with her but she dropped me off here. It was her way to make sure I finished Naked Heat. She stayed long enough to see me typing, then her and her boyfriend left for Europe I think"

Rick had just confirmed Roger's version of that spring

"I spent the summer trying to finish the book but it was hard. I was frequently thinking about you and Deming together"

"I had already broken up with him and I was going to go with you. My summer was not real good either"

"So no wild summer at the getaway place he talked to you about?"

"No! And no wild, wild summer with the ex-wife?"

"That train pulled out of the station a long time ago. I found new meaning in my life. A new reason to be a better man. A new focus in front of me"

"YOU! I decided I wanted a real relationship with a real woman"

Beckett pauses a minute before responding

"Castle I told you there was a lot of things I wanted to tell you…"

"And show me I think you said"

She laughs a little as a smile forms on her lips "I think we been doing that part already"

"True"

"Now I want to confess"

"OK"

"Castle, I did run. I ran away because I was afraid that this…" pointing between them "was going to turn out to be as amazing as it is turning out to be"

"Kate, I…" he tries to stop what he thinking is going to end badly

"Castle! That was when we first met. You were a jerk. Or at least that was the persona everyone saw but then I got to know the real you and I thought it was possible…just possible we could be something but I also did not feel worthy of this"

"What you mean not worthy"

She closes her eyes then continues "You are rich and famous…"

"A little" he comments

"You can have any woman you want. In fact I first thought that was all you wanted, just another woman and I had no desire to be that woman. But then I saw the father the son the friend and partner…" Her statement stutters "A friend who gave one hundred thousand dollars for me" She reaches to his hand "and that is when I knew I had to stay away from you"

"And yet you are here" He says happily

"Yes I am here because I met someone who pointed out things about you and the things you were doing were because you truly loved me. Not as a Muse. Not just the cop. Not the wounded daughter. Not the woman who was hungry for…something"

"Should I be jealous of this man?"

"No, first he is old enough to be your father and second you need to thank him"

"I will as soon as you arrange it"

"When we get back to the city, I am taking you directly to Jan's Java Joynt. That's is where we talked…About you mostly"

Castle reaches to the table and picks up a bottle of water then takes a deep breath "Kate if we are going to talk about things I need to know something"

"OK ask away"

"When did you remember my confession of love for you?"

She looks down at her own hands "When I woke up in the hospital all my memories were gone for the previous year. My mind was blank except for isolated events. Then during the bombing case. I was interviewing a suspect who claimed he forgot everything because of the blast. I got in his face and I said I was shot in the chest…and I remembered every second. It was at that very moment it all came back to me. I remembered the shooting. I remembered you disarming the dirty bomb. I remember snuggling up with you in the freezer…"

She pauses and looks at Rick "I remembered the kiss in the alley. That was nice"

He smiles at her statement

"And when it all came back to me, I was lying in the grass and you were holding me in your arms and you begged me not to leave and you said you loved me"

"That is when it all came back?"

"That very moment. Every detail that had been missing. And that was when I decided to grab you and tell you but Alexis got kidnapped and…you know the rest"

Kate suddenly turns her head toward the door. She looks at Rick and then the opening "I think I can hear my cell phone ringing" She states

"I'll go got it" he jumps up and rushes into the house. In just a minute he steps back out to the deck holding both his and her wireless devices "My phone was ringing too. We both have several texts and messages"

Beckett looks at her screen to discover a list of missed messages

"Something must be happening in the city" she says as she hits the button to respond to the unanswered message from Esposito

Rick is also reading the text message on his phone then his expression changes from inquiry to shock. Before he can tell Kate what he just read he sees that she has called back and is talking to her Hispanic partner.

The man begins talking fast as soon as the connection is made He is giving her a rushed description of events happening on the other side of the world and other breaking news events closer to home

"Slow down Java. What happened?"

"Who?"

"Where?"

"When?"

Beckett does not notice that Castle has gone inside the house as he is talking to his daughter. She hangs up on the call with her partner and rushes into the living room looking for Rick

"Castle! Where are you? Something has happened"

She sees her now boyfriend grabbing the remote control and turning on the large flat panel display at the end of the room

"I know! Alexis said it is all over the TV. She said the story just broke about an hour ago"

"Yeah! Javi said they were called about 2 hours ago and told the station to be prepared. He tried to call but I had my phone on silent. I set it that only City emergencies would announce the call"

The TV screen immediately comes alive with images of news reporters at the anchor desk and smaller images of remote reporters with banners flowing across the bottom of the screen announcing

Alert! Alert! And Breaking News!

"US law enforcement and Interpol execute simultaneous arrest warrants in Washington and Paris"

Suddenly Kate sees the main focus of the news report

"U.S. Senator William H. Bracken arrested on warrants for conspiracy, smuggling, money laundering, and murder"

Castle turns up the volume when he sees the screen switch to a reporter in New York

"…details are still sketchy but what can say right now is the Senator was arrested as the result of an investigation alleging his involvement in drugs, money laundering, and murder for hire. The information we have been able to gather says the senator is at the top of a criminal organization that began over twenty years ago here in New York"

"We have been told that the senator was laundering money from a drug cartel and using that money to fund his campaign"

"It also appears that he was at the head of a legitimate security business fronting for a criminal operation doing government contracts using former military Special Forces. We are hearing evidence exists linking the senator and his security business to several murders for hire for more than twenty years"

"Reports say that Senator Bracken personally ordered the deaths of an undercover federal agent, some members of a criminal family and several New York police officers including retired officer John Ragland and Police Captain Roy Montgomery. Related to these deaths was the murder fourteen years ago of a respected New York attorney Johnna Beckett. Ironically Ms. Beckett's daughter, Katherine Beckett, is a detective who served under the command of the late Roy Montgomery"

The anchor reporter tells the New York reporter that there is breaking information coming in from Europe and they are switching to that remote

"This story is still unfolding at this very moment so we are going to Janice Perez in Paris"

Another radiant talking head appears on the screen

"We are getting reports of a kidnapping of the daughter of a foreign national along with the daughter of Best Selling author Richard Castle are related to Senator Bracken"

"Ironically Mr. Castle's most popular character Nikki Heat, a spicy New York police detective, is based on Detective Katherine Beckett. We are attempting to contact Mr. Castle and Detective Beckett but we being told that no one seems to know their location at this time"

Rick is sitting beside Kate holding her tightly. She has her hand in front of her face and trying to suppress the tears flowing from her eyes. But after the news reports on every TV channel are telling the exact same story she is beginning to believe it herself.

Tomorrow they will leave the Hamptons and go back to the City but tonight's dreams were different. Much different. They were not filled with horror or gunshots or dead bodies or headless victims.

These dreams have been soft and warm and filled with the love of a man holding her close to his heart


	21. Chapter 21

This morning when he awakes she is gone. He rolls over in the bed and reaching out with his arm he is trying to find her, but she is not there. He had a small panic inside as he quickly jumps up to go looking for her

It is a little too early in the morning but for the last three days they have been together and rarely apart for long. Just enough for personal bathroom breaks and for one or the other to concoct some meal or snack for the other.

He rushes into the kitchen and sees that she has in fact started coffee and there is two empty cups sitting by the carafe waiting for attention.

He looks out the sliding patio door and sees the center of his affection. She is on the deck. Her long legs pulled up under her with her arms wrapped around her them with her chin propped on her knees

He fills the two cups, and then doctors hers exactly as she desires her morning caffeine break. He then steps out to the deck

"Hey gorgeous"

She turns her head slightly toward the man's voice "Hey" she responds somewhat weakly

"How long have you been up?"

"Not too long"

He hands her the drink. She looks at the hands offering the cup to her and as she always does, Smiles. Then takes it from him "Thank You" she almost whispers

"No. Thank you"

She turns her head toward Castle "Thanks. For what?"

"Every day I bring you a cup of coffee just I can see a smile on your face"

"I'm sorry Castle. I wish I could be better company. But with all the things happening, I'm afraid that I am not very good…"

"Kate, you need to know that we will get through this Together you and me. We will. I promise"

She looks at the man who has been her constant companion and support for the last four years and she knows it is true

"I love you. Kate. We will get past all this. We just need to move on after all the media blitz is over"

"What's going to happen when we go home?"

"I called Paula and she is working on a press release"

After a very quiet breakfast that Castle prepares with a muffin and some fresh fruit yogurt the pair pack for the trip home

* * *

><p>The traffic for the drive back to the city is, for the most part, uneventful. How much can happen driving from his house in the Hamptons to the loft in SoHo? The traffic on Sunrise Highway was light this morning then switching to the LIE it picked up some. At least they had the sun to their backs for the trip.<p>

Their morning drive was filled with the radio reporting more and more of the details relating to the arrests. The information coming out in the investigation indicated that someone involved in Alexis's kidnapping was working directly for Senator Bracken's security company and he had been captured during the girls' rescue. This man gave up the senator and all his colleagues back in the states.

"Rick?" Kate almost whispers his name

He glances toward his love "What?"

"What happened in Paris?"

Rick is concerned about what he can and cannot tell Kate about the events surrounding Alexis' rescue "Kate the state department made a press release crediting the rescue to the French Police and…"

"Castle Stop!" Beckett halt's his retelling of the official report "What actually happened? Not the new reports, not the sanitized version. I want the truth"

"Kate do you remember what Sofia Turner said about my father?"

"She said he was with the CIA or something?"

"Well, he is or was. I am not sure at this moment"

"What do you mean Castle?"

"The rescue was gunshots, explosions, and Alexis and me running for our lives to the US Embassy. It was all orchestrated by my father. Kate, he is CIA"

"OH" she say quietly

After another period of silence she asks a question again "What are we going to do?"

"About what specifically?"

"This?" she points at themselves "Us? You and me? Our new situation?"

She waits a second before continuing "I had not thought about what this change brings to everything. I mean we are a couple now and the NYPD is not going to like this, and I was hoping to keep it a secret for at least a little while, but now the guys and Lanie must have figured it out already and my dad and then they caught my mom's killer and…"

"Whoa! Stop for just a second, love. This will all be ok. We will be ok. First I think the rest of the world does not yet know about the change between us and they don't care. When I talked to Paula this morning I told her that I needed to meet with her and Black Pawn early today to get some information sorted out and not relating to the arrests. I am afraid that due to this happening when it did and the fact you and I were…'out of pocket' shall we say all weekend, there is going to be rumors that we need to control…or admit to. One way or the other it is going to come out now".

Beckett looks out her window as she watches the scenery change from suburban to urban city scapes. Just as they enter the tunnel to Manhattan a single tear trickles down her cheek.

Kate asked Castle to take her loft to get a few things. She had already agreed to go home with Rick instead of being alone in her place.

As they exit the tunnel on their way to Kate's place Castle dials the lobby phone at his building to get a feel of the current situation there

"This is Jake, how may I assist you?" the young man's voice comes through the speaker in the car

"Jake, this is Rick Castle"

"Yes Mr. Jones what can I help you with?"

Castle immediately knows that there must be someone close by that would recognize the name and that is why Jake did not respond with the real name

"Is it media or someone else?"

"Yes sir the first one"

"Can you say?"

"No sir, not now"

"Alright call me in a little bit"

"Very well Mr. Jones. I will help with that later"

"Rick, what is going on?" Kate asks after Castle hangs up

"Someone is in the lobby and Jake can't talk. He will call back when he can"

"Kate is your place safe? I mean can the media get your address?"

"Since I am active duty it is supposed to be kept secret" she responds as they look down the block. They do see one NYPD patrol car but nothing else in the way of news vehicles.

Castle pulls into the underground garage at her building. Rick knew the back streets to follow to gain entry without anyone outside catching a glimpse of them arriving

Once inside the security of her building Rick takes Kate's bag and the couple get on the elevator to her floor.

On the ride up Kate leans into Rick's side "Castle you did not sign on for this"

"Yes I did" he replies firmly

When the pair gets to her door, Rick takes her key, he opens her door, and they step inside. After he closes and locks the front door he places her bag down on the floor.

He turns toward her and takes a hold of her hand. They wrap one another into a firm warm obviously lovers embrace and Castle leans back into the door with Kate cushioned in his arms.

Kate has her eyes closed and feels totally wrapped up in this man's love.

"Castle I had put her murder behind me behind me so there could be Us"

"There is still Us and there will still be Us from now on" he looks into those green eyes he loves so much

"OK?"

"OK" she smiles back up to him

Neither one of these two had noticed that they were not alone. The silence of the room is abruptly broken by the voice of one very determined woman

"So is this the little situation you said interrupted our Friday night?"

Beckett suddenly stands up straight and pulls away from Castle "OH! Hi Lanie! What are you doing here?"

"You, girlfriend we were planning a girl's night out remember? You called me Friday and bailed. You told me something came up and you needed to postponed it until next week"

Lanie points at Rick "I assume this thing is what came up?"

"Let me explain" Kate tries with all her might to deflect her best friend's barrage but Beckett knows that anything she says will not fill in the answers wanted by the determined woman sitting in her loft

"Kate! There is nothing to explain except…how long has this thing been going on?" Lanie points at Castle

Kate buries her head in Castle's chest

Lanie has not moved closer than is necessary "Sweetie, I know. I understand. This has been a stressful weekend so I assume Rick took you to his place last night after the news broke?"

"Lanie, Kate and I are together" Castle says to the medical examiner "We are…"

Listen writer boy, you don't have to tell me anything when it comes to you two. We all know you have been together for years. You just waited a long time to consummate that relationship. That's all"

Beckett raises her head "Thanks Lanie. But we…Rick and I need some time. We were planning on keeping it quiet at least for a while. But with the arrests and all…"

"You're secret's safe with me"

"Thank you" Castle responds

"So! Tell me about this Paris deal Castle. What is all that about?"

"I am not sure myself. But I think we will never know, Lanie. Government cover up, classified, top secret stuff" Castle answers

"I can tell you that Gates in on the warpath Kate"

"Is she mad at me?" Beckett asks

"Not exactly. She thinks that you knew this was blowing up when you asked for time off but I know why you asked for the days" She looks at Castle then Beckett "And I will say that it looks like whatever came up is making you look radiant Kate"

Beckett knows her best friend's comment truthful

Castle feels his cell phone vibrate in his pocket. He takes it out and looks sat he name on the screen "Paula"

He turns the screen for Kate to see "We had an appointment with her but if I need to postpone while you two take care of other things…"

"No Rick. You go ahead. I will stay here do a couple of things and pack a bag for your place tonight"

"OK" He leans into kiss her then whispers in her ear "Love you"

"Love you too" she responds with happiness in her face

After the door to Kate's loft closes, Beckett turns back to face her best friend "Lanie I…uh…we…"

"Katherine Beckett just shut up. I am so happy for you two. You mother's killer is behind bards, I see happiness in you I have never seen before. I see a future for you with a man that loves you and did I hear you say you were packing a bag for his place?"

"Yeah" Beckett responds softly as she looks at the door

* * *

><p>Once out on the street Castle turns toward midtown where Paula is waiting at the Black Pawn offices. The morning traffic is the usual heavy for early in the day. Castle should have learned something over the years about shaking a tail but his mind is completely focused on the long lean brunette that has finally accepted him as her man and his mind is centered on her and not the black BMW following him.<p>

Every turn he makes, every traffic light stop, every delay as he moves to the offices of his ex-wife and his meeting with her and his agent.

He pulls his car into an off street lot and pulls into a space marked "Reserved "Black Pawn"

He gets out of his Mercedes briskly moves to the elevator. After the door closes the occupant form the BMW moves to the Mercedes and places something to the undercarriage if the writer's car. The man gets back into his BMW and exits the garage and moves on into the city


	22. Chapter 22

When Richard Castle enters from the elevator into the lobby outside the offices of Black Pawn Publishing he finds himself surrounded by group of reporters. Some with cameras, some with microphones, and some with only notebooks.

But all are filled with questions.

"Mr. Castle How are you related to the man who took your daughter?"

"Where were you all weekend?"

"Who was the man arrested in Paris?"

"Why was your daughter taken?"

"What is the connection between your daughter's kidnapping and Senator Bracken?"

"What is your relationship with Detective Beckett?"

"Are you and the detective lovers?"

The staff inside the publishing offices are watching and waiting for Castle to arrive and the moment they see him outside the door several very large men come out to escort Rick inside and into the safety of the interior of the Black Pawn offices

"Rick! What is going on?" Paula is the first to ask a question the moment they enter the conference room."

"Hello Paula, nice to see you too" Rick responds angrily "I am so happy that you are worried about me and my daughter's safety

The woman sits down in one of the comfortable chairs just as Castle's ex wife, Gina open the door and rushes into the room. She is followed by two men in suits carrying briefcases. Rick is assuming there are probably lawyers present to make sure Black Pawn's interests are protected

"Richard" Gina speaks with a syrupy voice. "Nice to see you're safe"

"Nice to be home" he responds

"Mr. Castle" the older of the two men speak up "We are staff council for Black Pawn Publishing and we need to go over a few things with you today"

Rick looks at these two men. It is obvious that they are not here to congratulate Castle on rescuing his daughter

"Mr. Castle. You understand that Black pawn has a lot invested in you personally. They have expended a substantial amount of money with you and you must understand that to that end you are an asset that must be kept safe so I would like to quote from your contract under the 'Dangerous Activities' clause"

The man reaches into a folder and pulls out the paper document signed by Richard Castle over ten years before when they began this publishing relationship

"Per the agreement, it says 'Mr. Castle agrees to not participate in activities that could cause harm or death. These activities include but are not limited to 'Skydiving, parasailing, motorcycle motocross, race car driving or riding as a passenger in a race car. Bungee jumping solo scuba diving, mountain climbing…'"

Castle interrupts "OK I know what is in the contract. So why awe discussing this? I have done none of those listed things".

Gina is the one unhappy at the moment so she responds to his question "Rick! You know exactly why we are discussing this. You went off to Paris to rescue your daughter. You got yourself into a gun fight, you were captured by her kidnappers and you had to be rescued by the Paris Police. I think that all falls into the clause about dangerous activities"

Castle sits for a moment contemplating his response

"Gina, first off, I did not intentionally get into a dangerous situation. Second I was in the company of a trusted companion who had helped me out in times past"

Castle is not about to disclose that this so called friend turned out to associated with the kidnappers

"Mr. Castle listen this goes far deeper than the Paris incident!" the younger attorney comments "After our review of the media and news reports relating to this incident, that it is apparent your daughter being taken as a hostage and your subsequent capture by the perpetrators was more than just a random event"

Castle looks across the table not knowing where this discussion might be heading "What do you mean by that?" He asks to no one in particular

The two men look at Gina for a response

"Look Rick, it appears that Detective Beckett's mother's murder is connected to this"

"Connect how?"

""The news reports say that the arrests were connected and that Senator Bracken was involved in her mother's death and he owned the company that one of the kidnappers worked for. So we believe that there is still a real danger out there. A credible danger to your life"

"And what, specifically, is it you think is still a danger to my life?"

Gina looks at the older attorney who responds "Detective Katherine Beckett"

Castle is momentarily caught for words "Excuse me?"

Gina answers "Rick we believe that your involvement with the NYPD and most specifically with Detective Beckett is extremely dangerous and we are asking that you sever your working relationship with her and the entire NYPD"

"Gina that is not happening. My relationship with the NYPD and Kate Beckett especially are none of your business" Castle says through gritted teeth

Then the senior lawyer of the two chimes in "In that case Mr. Castle, we have no choice but to demand that you break it off with the detective and her co-workers or we will consider this a breach of contract"

Castle stands up making everyone believe he is taking an aggressive posture when Paula tries to calm the situation "Take it easy Rick. This is really for the better. You have followed her around for four years. I am sure you have done enough research to write fifty books, and besides I know how much she hated you always being under foot. She will probably be glad that you finally are leaving her alone"

"We are not discussing this" Castle starts picking up his case from the conference table

"Rick!" Gina speaks again "Please understand that we are doing this for everyone's best interest. You will be safer since you will no longer be shadowing the police while investigating murder cases and the police will no longer have to worry about your safety and finally Detective Beckett made it very clear that having you around was an issue for her. So Rick please just cut your losses and move on. Everyone will be better off this way"

"I am leaving now" Castle says as he turns and opens the door.

At this very moment the receptionist rushes into the conference room "Gina the phones are ringing off the hook. Reporters are wanting to talk to you"

Castle is facing directly at the wall TV display in the lobby of the publishing company. This is when he stops abruptly looking at the news being reported.

There is an image on the screen of a man. Based on the height being displayed on the wall behind the head is evidently about 6ft 2 in tall. Dark hair and very dark eyes. This one thing that causes Rick to stop and watch is also the reason Gina stops to look at the screen

"Gina? Isn't that your boyfriend? The guy you were with last year when you took me to the Hamptons and you left with him for Europe?" Rick asks while still looking at the screen and without even looking at his ex-wife

"He…uh…was…I need to go make a phone call" She turns and rushes out of the lobby toward her office

"What's going on Rick?" Paula asks

"Just a second Paula" Castle responds as he picks up the remote control and adjusts the volume control so they can hear the report

_'More information is being uncovered on the man arrested in Paris. His name is Karl Kent. He is reportedly from Lincoln Nebraska yet there are no records of him in that city. The authorities believe it is a false identity that he has been using for several years. _

_Mr. Kent was arrested during the rescue of kidnap victim, Alexis Castle. The daughter of mystery novelist Richard Castle. On a related note Mr. Kent was reported to be dating Mr. Castle's publisher. We are trying to confirm this at this time'_

As Gina walks back into the lobby Rick looks over at the ex-wife and publisher "I looks to me like knowing you is more dangerous than riding with Kate. Maybe I need to avoid being around you"

He turns and walks out the door

* * *

><p>Most strike teams consisted of four members. It was thought that four would be an impossible number to compromise. The first time the team's strategy was defeated was when they were had captured Detectives Esposito and Ryan and were in the process of the torturing them for information. But it seems that one female detective was able to kill or capture the entire group.<p>

The second time was when the lone surviving member of that group and the team leader was able to escape jail and was set on his path to kill the woman cop that this was the team's target. The group was taken out again.

So the next attempt on the life of Katherine Beckett was performed by a lone gunman at her captain's funeral. But once again she escaped death's bullet due to a microsecond distraction from her partner.

However today is going to be different. She will not survive the sniper. Not today!

Being a sniper requires a certain set of skills. Not all individuals are capable of passing the line between marksman and full blown sniper. But the man on this roof top had earned his title from several years of performing the task of sniper. The only problem is he followed in the ways of Darth Vader and went over to the dark side. He took his skills that had been honed for good and now used them in exchange for the largest dollar. And that dollar comes from working for a private security contractor

He has located the perfect place for his nest where she will not see him. No one will see him. He will perform this one last duty for his employer. Today's assassination was not scheduled in advance. It was a standing order that if the Senator or certain staff members were compromised then he would complete this one last retaliation against the woman.

He selected the building based on intelligence he gathered as to where the press conference would be held. What time it would begin. How far out there would be protection staged

The man is laid out prone on the roof top. He has managed to erect a small blind to conceal himself from any airborne observers. He is an expert at his craft and one of the best shots to ever go through the sniper school.

He has a radio in his ear to listen to the live news report. He wants to hear the authorities brag about the arrests of the senator and all his colleagues around the world. He watches in his scope as the news trucks arrive and set up their remote equipment. He continues to observe as several dignitaries begin to show up.

For the most part the stage is bare of any place to hide. He knows that the moment he pulls the trigger to take the woman out that the balance of the participants will scatter like roaches in the light.

Patience is taught to a sniper. He was tested during training to assure he could and would wait until the perfect opportunity to remove his target. He has waited for this chance for a year. He had the chance once before and now it is happening again. This time he will not miss. Instead of aiming for her heart he is going to put a bullet in her head.

This will be very messy for those standing close to her but at least he will be assured that the target is eliminated.

Once and for all!

As the morning becomes the early afternoon he waits and listens to the remote reports. He also is listening to the talk back frequencies the news media use to talk back to the studio and get cues as to when news conferences are going to start.

As he waits and listens he opens his go bag and pulls out the remote detonator and verifies it is still in communication with the device he placed under a certain Mercedes earlier


	23. Chapter 23

Katherine Beckett has been in her own dream world. This new world that began just four days ago when she finally admitted to her partner, and friend, how she felt about him and what she wanted to have with him. That admission completed four years of dancing around the truth and that opened up the best four days of her life. She is hoping that, for him, the last four days have been as exciting as they have been for her

Even with her best friend standing in her bedroom talking almost non-stop, Kate has been running the past weekend through her head on a non-stop loop.

She knows that talking to Lanie will be required before her long time wine sharing buddy will calm down even a little but she is delaying the inevitable conversation for a long as she can

Kate's attention is been on the bag she has been packing with more than just a few clothes but a complete array of personal items as well. The type of items that someone brings when planning on staying somewhere for an extended period of time.

Kate finally finishes her packing and focuses her attention back on Lanie

"OK! What do you want to know? I will tell you everything"

"EVERYTHING?" Lanie asks with a lot of glee in her voice

"Almost anything! Lanie I can't go into great detail about what all has happened between Castle and me, not now"

Beckett closes her suitcase, picks it up and walks around the bed "This whole thing is just so new and…" Beckett's words drift off

"…and exciting?" Lanie finishes her sentence

"Yeah! Exciting would be one word" Beckett smiles then continues "Another word is satisfying. Another is fulfilling. There are a lot of words that I have never used before while talking about a boyfriend"

"Boyfriend?" Lanie says wit h note of zeal "This was a lot more than just the little weekend trip to the Hamptons two years ago would have been, isn't it?"

Kate smiles to her friend acknowledging agreement with the comment.

Beckett picks up her bag and she and Lanie move from the bedroom to the living room where she drops the bag and the two walk into her kitchen

"Yeah, it is a lot more than that would have been back then" Kate turns toward her best friend "I think I may actually have fallen in love for the first time in my life"

Lanie Parish, the main matchmaker for Kate and Rick over the last four years is so happy for Kate and is not sure where she wants her to stop

"When did you two finally give in to this? Slow burn or just…?"

Beckett moves around to the couch and sits beside her inquisitor "You remember when I was shot? Castle hovered over me to protect me?"

"Yeah"

"I didn't remember at first but he said something to me while I was on the ground. He told me he loved me I did not remember anything about that day. In fact I had lost all memories of last year. But when they came back, they did so with a vengeance. And the one thing about that day that stood out was Castle told me he loved me"

"Oh sweetie! He said that while he thought you were dying?"

"Castle told me he loved me but I don't think it was because I was dying. I think he and I just have had crappy timing. Neither one of us seems to know the right thing to say nor when we should say it"

"You kept that a secret from him for almost a year?"

"Not on purpose I didn't. The bombing case brought all my memories back to me so after it was over I was at my desk trying to tell Castle that I was ready for him but of course, I was stumbling around my feelings then we got the call about Alexis"

"So how did you manage to…you know?"

"When Castle called from Paris I told him to come home safe and that I needed him here, because I loved him too"

"So Castle's half way around the world and you are here trying to tell him you care about him?"

"That pretty much covers it"

Bate looks at her phone as if she is expecting Castle to call "When he got home with Alexis I was there with Martha. Waiting"

Without giving any intimate details Kate continues to describe the events that followed that reunion

"I was staying in the spare room at the loft so Martha would not be alone"

"But you two were in the Hamptons when the arrests occurred?" Lanie questions

"The next morning after they got back, Martha took Alexis to a spa retreat and Rick took me to his place in the Hamptons. Lanie it is beautiful there"

"Nice. But the news interrupted your little…Uh…weekend?"

"We were actually on the deck outside when I heard my phone ring and it all went downhill from there"

"So you got together last Friday?" Lanie takes out her phone and begins looking at her device

"Yeah, I guess so" Kate looks back over to her best friend who is currently typing something on her cell phone

"What are you doing? Taking notes about my personal life?"

"OH, No! I'm just checking on the precinct betting pool to see who won, that's all"

* * *

><p>The moment Castle pulled out of the lot at Black Pawn Publishing he was dialing his attorney. He called into the private number for Doug Parker. After three rings the call goes to voice mail. Castle leaves a lengthy message<p>

"Doug, Rick Castle. I need to talk to you bad. I don't know if you heard about Alexis' kidnapping and the arrest of the senator but they are connected and I just left a meeting at Black Pawn and they are demanding that I break it off with the NYPD. They claim it too dangerous to be around them…" He pauses "especially Detective Beckett…"

Castle takes another deep breath to try and calm himself down "Listen Doug, the truth is that Kate and I are a couple now. We are in a relationship finally. I am not loosing her again. I will not break it off. Not now. Not after everything we have been through together. I need your help. Call me"

He punches the disconnect button on the wheel

Rick is almost back to Kate's apartment when his phone rings. Without looking at his phone the car's Bluetooth will simply speak the number calling except the number reports as 'Unavailable'

He presses the button on his steering wheel to answer "Castle"

"Richard are you alone?" Castle recognizes the voice of the man he just met. The man who was primarily responsible for Alexis' rescue

"Yes"

"This situation has become more public much sooner than we planned"

"You think?" Castle responds very sarcastically "Where are you?"

"I am still in Europe. I will not be stateside for several more months Richard the publicity will grow even more before the day is over. Please understand that we tried to keep the connection between Senator Bracken and you quiet but a member of the French Police accidently let the information out"

"So that's what happened? This Karl guy was Gina's boyfriend and you didn't think it was important to tell me?"

Richard we did not know about him. He was a wild card in Bracken's game. Understand I was focused on rescuing my granddaughter and I had no idea that Kent was even involved. We captured him at the villa and he rolled over on Bracken but not his connection to Alexis' abduction"

"So great dad! I suppose now that I will be dealing with the arrest of a United States political official?"

"No. What we have planned is that Karl Kent will confess that he was just a contractor brought in by Volkov as another hired gun and it was just coincidence that he was involved in her kidnapping"

"Dad! What is the truth or do you even know what the truth is anymore?"

There is a prominent pause in the conversation. "Son you must understand the world we live in is very different than the one you and everyone else sees. It is a world made up of killers and liars"

"I suppose that you are both?" Castle says in a voice filled with anger toward the man who has put his daughter and the love of his live in danger "Dad as much as I wanted to meet you I think it might be best, for the safety of the ones I love, if we don't make a habit of seeing one another"

"Richard after we finish current operations your safety and that of all the women you care about will be assured"

"I hope so"

"I understand there is a news conference set up in a couple of hours. Please do not offer any information that might bring a spotlight on me or my team"

"Fine. I am back at Kate's I have to go" and Castle punches the disconnect button"

When Castle pulls up to the building a police officer stationed in front of her building steps out of his police car and takes an aggressive stance toward Rick "Excuse me sir, what is your business here?"

Castle notices that the officer has his hand on his holster and is ready to pull his weapon if needed

"I am here to pick up Kate Beckett"

"I am sorry sir, but what is your business with Ms. Beckett?"

"I am her…partner, Richard Castle"

It appears the officer knows the name "May I see some id?"

Rick carefully reaches into his pocket and presents his driver's license. The officer moves back to his car and enters some information into his computer. A minute later the officer walks back to Castle and return the DL to him "Sorry Mr. Castle there has been an event involving Ms. Beckett and we are being very careful in allowing access"

Thinking the officer is referring to a newer event, Rick panics. "What happened? Where is she?"

"Easy Mr. Castle., The event happed yesterday. We are just watching her building. No one has not seen her since last Thursday"

"I brought her home this morning. She should be inside" Castle responds

"Very well go ahead" The officer steps aside and allows Castle to enter the building

Once he arrives at Kate's floor he notices another officer is now station in the hall. This time he recognizes Officer Hastings

"Hello Mr. Castle" she speaks formally to him

"Ann you know you can call me Rick"

She smiles back "I need to be formal in case the media overhears"

Castle nod his head

"I don't think Detective Beckett is home" Hastings comments

"I dropped her off earlier" Rick answers

"So she was with you when all this happened?"

"Yeah. We were…she was with me"

A note of understanding appears on the officer's face and she smiles then whispers under her breath "Finally"

Rick knocks on Kate's door and he can hear the sound of someone moving to the door. When it opens he sees the face of the he has been aching to see ever since he left a few hours earlier.

From the response of her arms around him, her hands on his face, and he lips pressed to his, she must have missed him as too

She finally drops back down flat on the floor "Rick they called from the station. I have to be at a press conference at 3:00 at One Police Plaza. You are going with me, Right?"

"Always"


	24. Chapter 24

The rooftop snipers nest is well hidden. Several flyovers by NYPD and federal aerial units have not discovered the location. The man has taken a standby posture. Listening to the radio scanner he has determined the press conference is scheduled for 3:00PM so he has relaxed for a few minutes.

He uses the time to re-verify his back-up plan for today. If by some twist of fate he is not able to neutralize his target, the device placed under the Mercedes will take care of both the primary target but her new boyfriend as well.

Reviewing the current information he has gathered, the press conference is set to start at exactly 3 O'clock. The communications he has intercepted report a tight schedule for the afternoon. The mayor will open the conference then will turn the microphone over to the Police Department's Public Information Officer. The PIO will give the press release then she will take a limited number of questions from the press.

He looks through his spotter scope and sees that several dignitaries have begun to arrive.

Doing a quick calculation of the schedule he decides that the perfect time for the backup plan will be 3:45. If all goes according to schedule by then the conference will be over and, if by some chance, the woman and her new guy escape his bullet the car bomb will be the final nail for not only her but the problematic writer as well

He takes the remote controller out of the bag and programs information into the display. Once he is satisfied with his timing he presses the transmit button. He watches the display from 'Transmitting' to 'Receiving' Then 'Program Confirmed' Then to add icing to the cake and as his final confirmation that his plan cannot be thwarted, he takes the only remote control that can change the program, and smashed it into the wall destroying any possibility of the device being stopped using the controller

He smiles to himself as he returns his attention to the stage set up on the steps of One PP and watches closely at the list of dignitaries arrive to the stage

* * *

><p>Kate is leaning back on the headrest of the extremely comfortable seat in Rick's Mercedes. Before last Friday she had never ridden in his sedan. Now her senses are overwhelmed once again by this item of opulence that she can now enjoy. Lanie has ridden with them to the meeting that Kate Beckett was told she had to attend. No option<p>

They pull up in the area reserved for the attendees. After he parks the car he goes around and opens the doors for Kate and Lanie. Just as the women get out, Castle's cell phone rings. He sees the caller is his attorney. He turns to Kate. "I need to take this. I will be inside as soon as I can finish?"

The two women get out of the car and Beckett puts her arms around Rick "Hurry up. I need you with me"

"Don't worry. I will be there"

The women move inside as he places the phone to his ear. "Castle"

From the other end of the telephone he hears the voice of his trusted legal advisor Doug, Parker

"Rick, what is going on?" comes the smooth and always reassuring voice of the attorney

"Doug. I guess you heard about all the things happening with Alexis and Senator Bracken?"

"It would be impossible to not hear about this. It is all there is on the news right now. Rick are you really involved and your muse too"

"Not directly. I mean I am involved but I had nothing to do with causing this, but Kate, well I have been told by Black Pawn to break it off with the NYPD and specifically Kate. They say it is too dangerous to around her. They say she is a target and I am too close. If they come after her I might get hurt so they want me to stop seeing her and…"

"Rick, slow down"

"OK"

"Let's look at the situation from a legal perspective. I have re-read the contract and I believe that they have the right to determine what could or could not be a danger to your safety and demand you not do those things. The normal stuff sky diving and so forth is universally accepted but the lesser known can also be enforced"

"Are you saying that they can demand I not see Beckett?"

"Exactly! That is one of the dangerous activities they could enforce"

"Doug! I can't do that. Kate and I are in a relationship. We have decided we want each other. We got together just this last week end. I am not letting her get away so you need to tell me how to do this"

There is a long pause on the telephone call before the legal representative speaks. "Rick, I am afraid that I can only think of one way to do this but it will require you to take a giant leap…"

"Doug, whatever it takes. I am ready to do it. Whatever!"

* * *

><p>As the crowd gathers around the steps of One PP the citizens of New York are pushing to get closer to the action. They all want to not just hear what the press has to say, but they are excited about seeing those actually involved.<p>

The national and local Press have all taken their places around the podium and have their cameras rolling and are poised to ask questions

The primary group on the stage is surrounded by uniformed NYPD officers and several other men on station watching for threats. It appears that the federal government is also concerned about the current situation

Standing in the main group is the Mayor, Police Commissioner, the police PIO along with Captain Gates, Detectives Ryan and Esposito, Dr. Lanie Parish. Also the US Attorney General for the New York district.

Finally Richard Castle and Kate Beckett are standing tightly together. Hidden between them they are holding hands and lastly is Castle's agent Paula Haas.

The Mayor steps up to the microphone and begins the press conference "Good afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen, we will be reading a prepared statement then the US Attorney general will take over to answer any questions".

The Police PIO steps to the microphone and begins her pre-printed speech

"During the last 48 hours there have been two national and international events occurring involving citizens of our city. However neither event relates directly to the city itself or any investigation involving the NYPD"

The PIO continues reading from her prepared statement

"The City of New York was not directly involved in the events or the arrests. Other police agencies from both the US and the international community were responsible in the actions that have happened in the last 2 days. Until the news reports began surfacing, nothing was known in advance by the NYPD"

* * *

><p>Listening to the audio feed from the news report it appears that the conference will not get any better. The man on the rooftop has waited long enough. He has decided that his target will probably not be stepping up to the microphone and he will not get any better chance at putting her in the ground as this very moment.<p>

He wanted to make it a very public assassination. Very messy. Now is as good a time as any.

He begins to squeeze the trigger when he hears a sound from behind him

"Cole Maddox or Cedric Marks or whatever you are calling yourself today. I think you need to stop this"

The sniper recognizes the voice of the man behind him.

"Hello Captain"

"Release the grip on your rifle" and the man does as he was told

"Now slide the weapon off to your left using your right hand" again the man complies

"Place your right hand behind your back leaving your left hand on the parapet wall"

After securing the sniper into a set of zip tie cuffs the older man finally walks into sight of the rooftop sniper

"Captain Chandler. I thought you had left the company"

"I thought you had stayed on the righteous path Sergeant Marks or what do they call you now? Murderer?"

"I found a nice gig, Good pay. Easy hours"

"Well you're are retiring now"

"I guess so, Captain. Looks like you tried to kept me from completing my latest job" the sniper comments

"Oh I did more than just TRY to stop you"

"You think so?"

"Oh I know so Cole:" The older man moves to the edge of the roof top to look at the crown gathered at the stage. "They all look just fine to me. I see the Mayor, commissioner and oh yeah, Kate and Rick look so happy now that they are a couple. I don't know what else could be better"

"Think what you will Captain, but you know the one thing you personally taught all of us was be ready for the unknown and always have a back up plan"

"OH that's right! I did teach you to do that... Didn't I?"

The shooter now finds him not only has his hands tied together, but another strap is around his ankles and another at his knees and finally a set strapped to this elbows behind his back.

"Listen Cole I need to go. I promised Kate that I wanted to meet her new man and I spent way too many years working on that relationship to miss out on her happiness but I did want to leave you with a little something to remember me by"

The older man reaches into his bag and pulls out the explosive device that Maddox had placed under Castle's car. The timer on the side clearly visible and the numbers counting down. It indicates there is only about 10 minutes remaining before it detonates

"Let me tie this to you so you don't loose it" as he straps the device to Cole Maddox body where the countdown timer is clearly visible to the man

"Cedric, you were a good soldier once. You could have done so much good in the world. I am sorry we failed teaching you that the force has a good side and a bad side. The good side is the one you should have chosen"

The older man begins walking away leaving Maddox watching the timer on his life ticking away


	25. Chapter 25

**Time for a little angst**  
><strong>Not Much, just a little<strong>  
><strong>I promise you will survive<strong>  
><strong>I am just not sure about one of the players however<br>**

* * *

><p>Kate Beckett has stood at the front of several press conferences in the past but today is different. Much different. Today the story being reported contains answers for her. Answers for her mother's death. Answers that Kate was not expecting to ever be able to get<p>

But today those answers are being delivered. Today the US Attorney General's office is going to be filling in the details for the last void in the life of Katherine Beckett. The one last empty spot that might have been a small bump in the road for her future.

Lanie had to stop at the bottom edge of the stage steps and was not on the list of dignitaries allowed to be on the main deck. Beckett tells Lanie that she would be OK as soon as Castle joined her. Kate Beckett steps up to the main stage and looks around for any known friend for her to wait beside.

This is when she is spotted by Paula Haas, Rick's book agent. This woman believe that she has always had Castle's best interest in mind moves quickly to Kate

"Detective Beckett can I have a word with you?" The agent asks

Kate remembered meeting Paula on a few occasions agreed to step to the rear of the stage for a private conversation

"Detective I know all this has been a roller coaster ride for you and I am so sorry" The agent states

"Thank you Paula" Beckett responds

"Listen Kate we had a meeting at Black Pawn this morning…"

"Yes I know" the brunette detective responds while her focus is looking around the stage for Castle's arrival

"…yes and we know that you were not very happy when you were ordered to allow him to tag along on your cases and so we had this conversation today with Rick and we have agreed that you are no longer being forced to put up with him. He is going to stop being around you and your team and you can now go back to the life you had before he came to bother you"

This statement catches Beckett totally out of the blue "Excuse me?" Kate can barely breathe

"Yes detective Rick will no be around bothering you. He will go back to writing his books and you can go back to being a cop without a civilian to worry about causing trouble"

Beckett finds her heart beating so hard she can hear it in her head. "And Castle agreed…to this…break…this break up?"

"Oh yes detective. We had a meeting and Gina and Black Pawn and she told him that this is for the best. I am sure you understand?"

Kate is looking off across the distance and is no longer hearing what the other woman is saying. Beckett puts her hand up in front of Paula 'Thank…thank you"

Kathrine Beckett is stunned by this woman's comments. She just feels like her insides have been ripped out and her heart has been taken from her. As she walks aimlessly away from the publishing agent her mind goes places she never wanted to go

'I guess my first impression was right. He is a womanizing playboy and all he ever wanted from me was to get me separated from my clothes. Well I am one stupid individual.

He is good!  
>He waited four years to do this!<br>He just wanted to get me into bed and he finally did it!  
>I let him!<br>I thought he loved me!  
>I thought I loved him!<br>But all he wanted was…  
>Well no more!<p>

Kate is standing in the front row when Castle steps up behind her "Sorry for the delay. I had to talk to my lawyer about something to do with my publisher"

In her mind the conversation just gets worse 'OK he talked to his lawyer about the Black Pawn thing! Or worse?

Great!

I guess if I were to accidently be pregnant he wants to make sure I can't claim…I don't want to know what? Or maybe he wants to make sure I can't lay claim to any of his fortune? Well he can just keep his fortune. I don't care anymore. I don't care about his fortune! I don't care about Him!'

She is just a little in front of and slightly aside from him. He has positioned himself so that no one in the audience or even the dignitaries on the stage will notice that he has tried to take her hand. But the moment he reaches to touch her, she recoils from him.

He attempts again with his right hand and receives the exact same response from her

Castle is confused as to what might have occurred and tried to lean into her to ask what is happening. When he comes near her she turns her head away from him making it very clear she is not wanting to know what he has to say

As the AG begins her dissertation, Kate slowly steps forward just an ever so a tiny bit trying to get some distance between him and her. She halts in her movement when she is stopped by his holding firm to her coat tails

The representative from the Federal Government reads a lengthy document containing details of an undercover operation that had begun even before Johanna Beckett's death, The report details how her death was tied to the death of an undercover operative and several criminal elements.

She brings out the connection of the hired hit man, Dick Coonan, and how he was connected to Vulcan Simmons and his drug cartel. How they traced the money thru several legal channels finally ending up in the political campaign account of the senator

Each new piece of evidence brought out causes Kate to try and move further away from Rick.

The story being told causes her to hold her breath then release it when she feels that she might pass out from lack of oxygen. This is not where she wants to be right now especially next to a man who lied to her for all this time

After about fifteen minutes of listening to a prepared written report from the deputy AG they finally brings in the last connection to Senator Bracken and his criminal organization. At this point the AG passes the podium over to a member of the State Department who begins to detail the arrest of Karl Kent in Paris and how that man was tied to Bracken's security company as a hired gun.

The report continues to try to separate the events as if they were not connected in any way while both Beckett and Castle are totally convinced that Alexis kidnapping was orchestrated by the senator

The written report even brings out the fact that Karl Kent was dating Castle's publisher, Gina , and probably did so as a ploy to have access to Rick's daily schedule

After the final page of the prepared statement is finished the press are allowed to pose only a few questions to the group. After a few cursory questions are posed by the reporters as they shift their attention from the senator to the detective and also her shadow

"There seems to be a connection between the Senator and Alexis Castle' kidnapping. Are Detective Beckett and Mr. Castle dating?" comes the first question shot directly at the couple.

When this ambush begins, Kate reaches back with her right hand and pulls Castle's hand off her coat as she tries to separate herself from him even more

It is at this moment Paula, Rick's literary agent steps up to the microphone "I will take that question, Mr. Castle and Ms. Beckett are just co-workers and nothing else"

That statement has caused Kate to tense up markedly

"So they are not dating?" The question gets restated from the reporters

Paula take this opportunity to deliver her planned response "Mr. Castle has been shadowing the NYPD and Detective Beckett for over four years. Rick has written three very successful novels based on the detective. We have discussed this we have agreed that having Mr. Castle following Detective Beckett has become very dangerous and we have had a conversation with him about him discontinuing his shadowing with the NYPD"

Castle is not paying attention to Paula. He is trying to figure out why Kate is acting the way she is

But when Kate hears these words from Rick's agent they bring a fire into her chest like she has never felt before. Her statement just confirms what she had said to Kate earlier. He has agreed to leave Kate. After she thought that they have just become a couple? How could he do this? How did it happen NOW? She wonders.

As she tries to pull her hands away from Castle's hands he looks up at the literary agent. She cannot see Castle's eyes are glaring at his representative as she continues "This should …"

Paula Haas's comments are halted by the thunder of an explosion on a rooftop several blocks away. The black cloud of debris can be clearly seen from the group's current vantage point.

Kate Beckett finds herself on her back on the stage like a year ago. And just like a year ago Castle is on top of her covering her body with his own

"Castle GET OFF ME!" Kate screams

Castle looks around before answering "Not until I'm sure you're safe"

"What are you talking about Castle?"

"Kate! I am not taking a chance of something happening to you! Not again!"

"Castle! Get off of me!" Beckett repeats as she is shoving Rick away from her

After they stand up agents are pushing the pair off the stage and into a safe location below the line of sight of the tall buildings nearby.

Once Castle and Beckett reach a safe distance Rick takes Kate's arm and turns her around "Kate! What is going on? You are acting strange"

"ME? Are you kidding me? How about you?"

"Me? What did I do?" Castel is honestly wondering what he did "Kate what is wrong?

Kate Beckett looks at Rick and he can see fire burning from her eyes. She takes a deep breath before speaking "I am such a fool!"

"Kate! I have no idea what you are saying. What is happening?"

She finally stops long enough to bring her thoughts together "I talked to Paula! She told me that you are breaking it off with me"

"Kate. Is that what you think? I am NOT breaking off with you. Kate I love you and I want you. I want to be with you"

"But Paula said…" Kate chokes out

"Paula, Nothing! I told them that there is no way. I am NOT breaking up with you"

In a much calmer voice Beckett continues "Just as we pulled up here you took a call from your lawyer"

Castle steps close to Kate again and this time she is not pulling back "I told him what they wanted me to do and I told him that was not happening. He said that Black Pawn CAN enforce the dangerous activity clause against US. You and ME."

"So he told you that you do have to leave me or loose the publishing deal?"

"I told him that I want you and not the books"

Castle has managed to put his arms around Kate and is holding her very tight "So he said there is one thing I could do that will void that part of the contract"

"What is that?" Beckett ask

"Katherine Houghton Beckett! Will you marry me?"

She stopped hearing anything after he said her name


	26. Chapter 26

Those four words had been spoken to Kate Beckett only once before in her entire life and exactly like the first time the words were spoken by one Richard Castle.

Just the first time he said them it was Castle's attempt to convince Kevin Ryan that he needed to do something bold when proposing to Jenny. Castle told Kevin that it needed to be huge and world class like a Helicopter ride, sky writing, on top of the pitcher mound at Yankee Stadium. Kate had put down the outrageous proposal and helicopter ride theory to rest saying a woman would prefer something a little more intimate

She never thought about a press conference on the steps of One Police Plaza and an explosion during the proposal as being 'intimate'

She has her eyes closed and tears are burning from under her lids "Did you really mean that? I thought you were breaking up with me. You just proposed to me?"

"Yes I mean it. Kate I have wanted this ever since I met you"

"Really?" Beckett asks thru halted breaths

"Kate I have loved you for years"

"Even before that day in the cemetery?"

"Yes. Long before that day. I think I have Always loved you"

These two don't really care anymore who might see them. Kate has grabbed Rick by the neck and is playing suck face with him. Rick is holding onto Kate for all he's worth. He is demonstrating to her how much he wants them to be one flesh. He is trying with all his might to meld into her and make them one.

When the two finally must surface for air or pass out from lack of oxygen, Castle tries to speak "I guess that means yes?"

She finally opens her eyes and looks up to his face and what she sees removes any doubt as to what his feelings are for her. She sees nothing from him except his total and complete love for her.

"Then I guess I need to start packing by bags for the honeymoon?"

"That's definitely a yes! He is finally able to breathe again. Katherine Beckett, I love you"

"Ditto Mr. Castle" Kate responds

Since these two lovebirds have been in their own little private world for several minutes, they are oblivious to the flash mob that has formed quietly around them.

In the very front row watching the show just presented are the couple's detective partners, Ryan and Esposito, the Lanie Parish, Medial Examiner, AND the 12th percent's Captain, Victoria Gates.

It is the captain who comments first "Well isn't this just nice?"

The two male detectives look at their boss and are not sure what they need to say or if it might be better to just stay quiet for the time being

The senior woman continues her statement "I believe that we have a situation that might need to be addressed and very soon"

At the sound of her superior's voice Kate Beckett ducks her head and whispers to her now fiancé "I think we are in trouble"

Castle looks down to Kate "I guess keeping us a secret is out of the question now?"

Beckett smiles as she finally looks over at her boss to see what type punishment might be in store for her and her soon to be husband

"Sir, we…I…uh…we did not plan this, sir. It just sort of happened"

"I see" The ever stern commander pauses before finishing her interrogation "So detective are you telling me that this little romance between you and Mr. Castle has NOT been going on for long?"

"No sir. Rick and I just got together"

"And just how long have you two been together if I might ask" The station commander says

"When Rick came back from Paris, I was waiting for him. That is the first time we…Um…"

"Got together? So it has only been since what…last Thursday night?"

"Yes sir. I have not been back to work since we got together and we were planning to keep it quiet but the news reports and the senator's arrest and Alexis' kidnapping and…"

"Alright! I understand detective. So you are telling me that it just all began just three days ago?"

"Yes sir. I am sorry about trying to keep it a secret but we didn't want anything…"

Beckett's answer is interrupted by the captain who then turns to Lanie "Dr. Parish with that information who wins the betting pool?"

Kate's long time best friend responds with a hint of laughter in her voice "You're the winner, captain. You came the closest. You had picked this last weekend. No one else was even close"

* * *

><p>The agents managing the press conference security had ordered Beckett and Castle to leave the immediate area and move to a shelter where they could be at under protection.<p>

Rick insisted they go to his loft. It was a secured building. It was located in a section of town not known for crime and due to its construction it was easy for the agents to create a perimeter protection zone

Richard Castle and his soon to be wife, Katherine Beckett is curled up on the end of the couch at the loft. The evening air had turned a little chilly with the passing of a moderate cold front so Rick had started a fire even though it was not really that cold. The ambiance of the flames dancing light on the wall made the end of the day seem more magical

Sitting with her back into Castle's side Kate has pulled both of Rick's arms around her and is holding him firmly against her. Playing with his fingers as she gently slides her fingers up and down the back of his hand.

"Rick has all this really happened? Did you ask me to marry you? Are we here at your place warm and safe?"

"Yes! Yes! And yes" Castle moves his hand to the back of Kate's arm and he slides his hand down along the back of her hand. He feels the softness of her skin and wonders why he waited so long to get here.

Her skin tingles at his touch and she wonders why she waited so long to be here

Rick finally speaks "Have you talked to the boys? What did they say about the explosion on the roof?"

"Oh Castle I thought that was just you putting on a big show for the proposal"

"Very funny"

"They found the remains of a man. It appears he accidently blew himself up with the device. He had a sniper rifle, scope, scanner radios. He was listening to the press conference. They believe he was there to kill…someone on the…" her voice stutters

"Kate, do they think he was after you?"

"Javi said he had a well camouflaged nest set up that protected him from being spotted. It looked like he set up earlier. He was probably there all day"

"Kate, you didn't answer my question"

She is sitting quietly when there is a knock on the door.

Castle does not want to get up and separate from Kate but there is no one else to go to the door. When Rick opens the entry he is faced with Captain Gates, Detectives Esposito and Ryan.

"Hello everyone. Please…" Rick moves aside inviting the trio inside

After the three police officers enter the loft, Rick invites them to sit around on the couches and chairs gathered around a central table

"Detective Beckett we have some information on the deceased man found on the roof" the captain begins "We first were not able to identify him due to the condition of the body but the DNA preliminary results linked him to another open case here in the city"

Rick and Kate are listening closely

"Your shooting last year. He is the man who shot you at Montgomery's funeral" the captain pauses before finishing "We believe you were also the target today Detective Beckett"

Kate squeezes Castle's hand and does not let go

"We were able to find hotel where he was staying. In the room we found a lot of evidence including a picture of him. It was a fake passport but it gave us an image"

Esposito then continues the story "I contacted my former squad leader. He is still active duty at the Pentagon. I told him what was happening and he was able to retrieve the man's military record. Or most of it. He was like me, Special Forces and a lot of what he did is still classified but after his discharge he went to work for Arantis Solutions. It is a black ops contractor"

Ryan completes the link "We traced the company ownership and found that Senator Bracken owns controlling interest in the business"

There is a period of silence before Rick asks "Why were you able to find all this information out on this man now when we couldn't last year?"

"I'm not sure" Esposito answers "My contact said the files had been coded top secret but unlocked just last week. If we had tried a week ago, we would have had nothing"

"It will still take some time to uncover any more but we will keep you two informed. We believe all threats against you have been stopped, Detective" Captain Gates states "But I want you to take little time off. You deserve it"

"Yes sir" Beckett responds

The Captain and the two detectives stand to leave. The woman turns back around to the pair "and again congratulations detective. You deserve some happiness and I know how much that man loves you. Everyone knows how much he loves you and we are all very happy you are finally seeing it"

"Thank you, sir" Kate states as Rick stands and sees the trio to the door.

After closing and locking the entry Rick sits back down next to Kate

"Wow. I am so glad that's over. I can feel better about your safety"

Beckett is staring directly forward when she quietly makes a comment

"Castle. They said the threats against me are over. That means I am no longer dangerous to be around. That means that Black Pawn has no reason to force you to stay away from me. And you don't have a reason to marry me anymore"

She takes a deep breath "I know it was a spur of the moment thing and you weren't really planning on doing it so with all the changes in my case you don't have to feel obligated in following through on this…" Beckett stops as Castle gets up from the couch "Where are you going?"

"Stay there. I will be right back" Castle rushes into his study. Kate can hear a desk drawer opening and slamming then Rick almost runs back into the living room. He stops just at the edge of the couch

"Kate. I still have every reason to marry you. I can't imagine my life without you. And unlike my impromptu question on the steps of the police department…"

He opens a small box and pulls out a beautiful engagement ring. He kneels down in front of her. He holds the ring up to her face "What is it supposed to be boring and just ask…"

"Will you marry me?"


	27. Chapter 27

She feels the morning calling her to awake. Her body senses the softness of the sheets from the tip of her toes to the top of her head and with every sensory receptor in between alive and signaling that her life has made a major turn.

It feels so good that her head tells her to not move but the muscles all over her body are asking for a long stretch in an attempt to loosen some so they can begin the day.

As she reaches down with her toes and her arms up to the headboard, she feels a hand land gently across her abdomen.

"Don't get up. Stay in bed" she hears her fiancé gently say into her ear as he places his face into the crook of her neck and pulls her even closer

These words cause her to comply with the request. She rolls onto her side so that she is not only facing him but her body can conform into the man with her in the bed. She bends her leg and begins to slide her long toes along his leg from his ankle and toward the knee

As much as she is enjoying the physical contact, the moan coming from him indicates that the her action is appreciated and being enjoyed equally by him

"Do you think we might find something to do that will keep us in bed? At least for a little bit longer?" She whispers

"Or a lot longer? He responds while trying to breathe

"Hum. Let me see what I can do about that" she whispers to his face

* * *

><p>Today's breakfast is planned to be lite. Castle has prepared fresh fruit, juice, and some yogurt. Castle had quickly discovered Kate's favorite breakfast is fresh fruit and yogurt<p>

"Hey Castle?" She calls from the bedroom in a questioning voice

"Just a minute" He responds as he grabs a coffee cup and fills it along with his own. He then rushes in the direction of the love of his life. As he turns the corner from the living room into his or rather their bedroom he is halted by her stance. Kate Beckett is standing in the door way to the bathroom wearing one of his dress shirts with only bottom lowest button fastened creating an open V extending all the way to her neck

He stops in the door and is frozen in place by her appearance. The woman standing in front of him today is such a drastic polar opposite of the detective that arrested him a little over four years ago. That woman was a totally by the book police officer. She had no interest in his games, his theories or him in general and kept any joy that might have occurred in her life hidden.

But now she has become THIS!

"I brought you a coffee" he finally speaks

She steps up to her new fiancé. She is holding something in her hand. It looks like a small slip of paper.

When she gets closer to Rick she holds up the note "What is this? She asks in a sweet and gentle voice

He is having trouble looking at the note because she is standing in such a way as to give him a full unobstructed view down the shirt.

"UH…what note?"

"This one…HELLO Castle. I'm up here" She chides him for his current gawking down the front of her shirt

He finally looks up at the paper in her hand. He reaches and takes it from her and looks at it for a brief moment

"That's my bucket list. You know the things you want to do before you kick the bucket"

"I know what a bucket list is. But will you explain number one to me?"

Rick looks back at the paper and smiles "Be with Kate? That one?"

"Yeah that one. When did you write this?"

"Like three years ago. The same day I bought the ring. OH I can scratch that one off"

"You have had this ring for how long?"

"...three years?"

Kate's face turns red and there is a hitch in her breath. She drops the note and grabs Castle's face and sucks all the air from his lungs.

Their coffee has grown cold before they get back to having their breakfast

* * *

><p>The newly engaged couple has finally dressed and are sitting on the couch drinking the last of the morning brew<p>

"Beckett, you said that there was a man who helped you" Rick comments "tell me about this man you said was responsible for this" as he points between them

Kate takes Castle's hand as she pulls him from the couch "Come on I'll show you. Let's go" she ways as she moves quickly pulling him toward the door of the loft.

She told him that there was someone she really wanted him to meet and today seem like the perfect time. It was very important for Kate that Rick and this man get to know one another. She feels like these two men will definitely hit it off and be friends

Up until now, she had told Rick only a little about Roger but she did say that this older gentleman and her friend was extremely important when it came to the Castle and Beckett relationship connecting. Finally!

The couple gets into Beckett's cruiser and they head in the general direction of the precinct. During the ride Castle decided that, in spite of all the questions he wanted to ask, that he will keep quiet and wait to see what is in store for him once they reach their destination.

Kate has not yet brought up any details about Roger. How they met. How they talked endlessly about her work, her history, her life. Her past relationships. How he pointed out to her that she was hiding in nowhere relationships with men she didn't love. She could not bring herself to tell Rick how she was keeping her feelings about him even from herself and how this friend had, over many, many cups of coffee, has made her see what she was missing for her future and convincing her to act on those desires.

She pulls her police car into the station's garage and quickly jumps out and rushes toward the elevator. Stopping only long enough to turn back to her new lover and fiancé and say that one phrase that she has used with him so many times over the last few years. That phrase that always seems to being a smile to his lips

"You coming Castle?"

"Yeah" he responds in an ever so slightly giddy manor as he hurries to catch up to her

Once they exit the police garage she looks over to her partner and smiles up at his face. She can still see that little school boy behind those eyes. Those ever so blue eyes that she was finally able to sink deep into last night and the night before. And the night before that. A liquid pool she plans on spending a long time soaking in from now on.

She deftly reaches to his hand and pulls his fingers unto her own and with a firm grip, she shows him just how much she is into this new 'thing' between them. She doesn't care who sees or knows that they are finally one now.

She smiles in the direction of several uniformed officers who are walking toward the station reporting for their morning shift or checking back in to go off duty. It is evident to each officer that there has definitely been a change in the 'status' of these two.

At long last

As they continue to walk toward the corner coffee store the couple does not see all the look backs and double takes from each and every person that they pass. The almost whispers from her fellow NYPD. She doesn't see the happiness in all their faces

Kate does not care that there are a lot of smiles and finger pointing going on behind them. She had once complained about how everyone was talking about her and Castle like they were a school yard crush. Well they graduated from the school yard to the university campus

But neither one of them cares right now. They are both still on a new high

Kate pulls open the door to Jan's Java Joynt and immediately looks around for Roger

But their usual table is empty

"Wait here" Kate says to Castle as she finally releases the death grip he had on his hand. She steps beside the counter where she sees Val

"Hey Val. Has Roger been in today?"

The Barista looks at the table usually occupied by Kate and her friend "No. in fact I have not seen him in several days. Come to think of it I haven't seen you either" Then the woman looks behind Kate and sees Castle

"Oh look, I think that's Richard Castle, the mystery writer. I love his books especially the Nikki Heat series"

"Oh! So you like his books?" Kate smiles at her new man as she responds to the coffee lady

"OH Yeah! I have the hots for him. I wish is could be could be Jamison Rook and I could be Nikki. I would take him home and I would so like to…"

"Uh, Val…" Kate tries to break her comments "VAL!"

The shop manager finally stops her rant "OH, Sorry Kate, but wouldn't you like to…"

"I have" she says as she looks back to her guy and takes his hand and pulls him up close to the counter "Val, I want you to meet Richard Castle, the writer. The author of the Nikki Heat stories that, by the way, are based on me…" Then Kate rises up and kisses Rick. She looks back at Val "…and my fiancé"

"OH MY GOSH Kate. You ARE Nikki Heat!"

"She was based on me"

"So those sex scenes…"

"No that was just his fantasies"

"And yours too?"

"Never mind" Kate blushes a little

It is at that moment the door of the shop opens and in walks Roger Chandler, Kate Beckett's morning coffee buddy. Kate turns and sees the man that became her friend and her mentor

She pulls Rick's arm to turn him around to look at Roger "Castle this is the man I told you about. Rick meet Roger. Roger this is my fiancé Richard Castle"


	28. Chapter 28

Kate Beckett has lost all count of time or how many cups of coffee she has had let alone the number her man has also finished. She just knows that the longer her fiancé and her mentor talk the closer they seem to become.

The bonding session began with Roger telling Castle how he first met Detective Beckett. How she stuck her nose in Roger's business and wanted to pester the man. How their daily coffee conversations quickly spiraled down when Castle showed up at the percent and became her constant companion and irritation. Sort of like her pestering Roger over coffee. Too many parallels to compare

The older man described how Kate told him how she wanted Rick gone from her life. Castle responded by telling how Kate threatened to shoot him on more than one occasion.

"That would definitely be a way to get rid of you" Roger comments "I would imagine if she wanted to place you in the crosshairs you would not have been able to escape" The man continues

"So true" Castle responds while looking directly at Kate "But fortunately I survived the early threats"

These men discuss, sometimes in detail, the missed opportunities beginning at the fancy dress ball when Castle bought Kate a beautiful dress to wear. How that night could have been the start of the two of them actually dating for real. But it did not Except how many future times did they spend together whether it was at Remy's having hamburgers, the comfort food truck or the Chinese and Italian to-go that Rick brought in or even the stops at the hot dog cart. Any outsider would have called them dates

Most of the major areas of discussion for the men are all relating to the female in question. Beckett finds herself almost to the point of giggling as she sits and listens to these two talk about her. She knew the stories were so very true but also included the stories of Castle's part in the missed chances

Beckett glances down at her latest empty cup and realizes she it's totally and completely 'wired' from all the caffeine she has had today. She knows any chance she has for sleep tonight left her about four cups back but this way she has another excuse to stay awake tonight other than the number one selection on her list of fun things to delay sleep. The espresso will just help her plans

She places her chin into her hand and just fixes her gaze on the man she has now admitted her love, the one who holds her future and she smiles. There is nothing that could happen that would make Katherine Beckett any happier than she is today. For the last three plus hours she has sat almost silent while her fiancé and the man who is largely responsible for them, being together sit and talk and laugh about first one thing then another.

They have all laughed with each and every crazy story about what was happening inside the other's mind and how they each misread the signs that were posted all over their pathway telling them to get off the merry go round and just grab the other one and deal with the pent up passion that existed for so many years. Finally leading to them together and how it was truly meant to be

Roger finally looks at his watch "Well, as much as I have enjoyed this, I have a review to go write and get submitted to my syndicate. I hate to put off my writing. Don't you Rick?"

"Yeah, me Too" Castle answers causing a belly laugh to come from Beckett

"Castle, you are the king of procrastination" She looks at Roger "One of the times I thought I had lost him to Gina was when she came to take him to the Hamptons because he had not finished his next book…" She puts a glare on her face "NAKED HEAT? If I remember correctly"

Castle has a look of fear on his face reminding him of her reaction to that name the first time she heard it

She continues "That did cause several more reactions from my NYPD co-workers"

"I am sure it did" Roger states "But you two are way past that now and I am so glad this has happened for you both. But as I said I have to go home and do some writing myself"

The three stand up to leave when Rick reaches out to shake Roger's hand"Roger! It is so great to meet you and especially so I can thank the person who kind of pushed this girl here in my direction" Rick takes Kate's hand

"Rick the pleasure was all mine" Roger responds "If you don't mind, Rick, I would like to congratulate your lady here" The older man reaches around Beckett and gives her a warm hug and whispers in her ear "This is so special to me. Thank you"

Kate looks back at him "No Roger! Thank you"

The three leave the coffee shop and Roger heads down the street toward 23rd as Beckett and Castle walk back to the station and get into her cruiser and head back to SOHO and the loft.

Castle has prepared a quiet dinner for them. A nice grilled chicken salad made with fresh greens covered with his own recipe vinaigrette dressing and served with white wine.

After the meal is finished Rick cleans the kitchen loads the dish washer as Kate heads into the bedroom to change for the evening. When Castle finished his KP duties he is struck again by the arrival of his new love as she appears in the door. She is wearing a nice comfy silk top with matching pants. The lounging set she has chosen seems to cling to every spot ion her body that he wants to explore. She seems so much 'at home' now. No pretense. No walls. No fears. This makes him feel complete.

They both now move into the sitting area of the living room

She sits down on the couch next to him and leans into his side. The smooth feel of her presence causes his heart to skip a beat. Just having her here like this fills out so many of the fantasies that have existed for the last four years. Now his wildest dreams have come true. For all the years he wanted for this and now it's finally here.

"Hey Castle. What are you thinking?"

"How complete my life is. How this is happening and how I got to meet the mentor that helped bring you to me"

"Oh I don't know Castle I may have gotten here…eventually" Kate chides just a little

"What when we were both old and grey? I like this happening now even better"

She lays her head on his shoulder "Me too. Castle I am so glad you and Roger got along so well. You two acted like old friends"

"That was easy. He was…I don't know so…likable. I felt like we had met before. He was familiar some how"

"I know" she responds "That was why I guess I kept talking to him. He was easy to talk to and…I kind of felt like I was talking to a caring grandfather or my dad…" She looks up at Rick "Or when I was talking to you, just not talking to you about us"

There is a quiet pause in the conversation

"I do have one question though about Roger" Rick begins "Was it a good idea to mention specifics about some of our cases?"

"What do you mean?" Kate asks

"When we were talking he mentioned the domestic terrorist bomb case. He mentioned the fact it was a dirty bomb that we disarmed. I thought we were told that information was classified and we could never mention that there was a nuclear device involved. The civilians could not ever know how close we came to a radioactive cloud over the city"

"Castle I never told him it was a dirty bomb. I told him that it was just a domestic terrorist wanting to blow up a car bomb. I never said there was radioactive material involved"

"Really?"

"No I never said that"

Kate sits straight up on the couch "Castle! When Roger started talking about the Pandora case he mentioned Sophia Turner by name. I never said her name around him at all. In fact I never told him it even involved the CIA"

"How would he know that?" Castle asks

"I don't know" Beckett responds.

"I think we need to go see him and ask some questions"

"I don't know where he lives. I only met him at the Jan's Java Joynt. I never even saw what direction he went after he left"

"You said he told you hew was a food critic?" Rick asks

"Yeah, What about it"

"Why don't you call your old high school friend Maddie and ask her if she knows him and how we could locate him. If he is really a travel and food writer, she should know all about him"

Kate picks up her phone from the table and starts to dial the number of the restaurant, Q3. After just two rings the voice that answers is her old high school friend

"Hey Maddie, its Kate how are you?" Beckett listens for just a moment then smiles. "Yes it's true. How did you hear about…? Really? A reporter came by?" then almost under her breath "great"

She comes back to her point "Maddie I was wondering if you could help me with a case I am working on?" she listens again "You know the food critic Roger Chandler?...Yes Chandler…He's what?...are you sure?...OK thanks Maddie. Yes! Don't worry I will not hold that against you…Yes I am happy. Very happy. Thanks I will talk to you later"

Beckett disconnects the phone then looks at her future husband

"What did she say?"

"Well first a reporter from the Ledger came in asking about me. He heard that I was engaged and he knew Maddie was an old friend"

"What about Roger?"

"Rick. She said that the name Roger Chandler is just a pseudonym. The food critic column is actually written by staff reporters in each of the regional newspapers. There is no one person named Roger Chandler. In fact most of the stories are written by women"

"So who have you been talking to all these years?"

"And who have I revealed my inter most secrets to?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN**

**OH Come on now!**  
><strong>You didn't think I was going to make it that easy did you?<strong> 


	29. Chapter 29

"SO Castle, how did Roger know so much about you?" Beckett questions

"YOU are the one who talked to him all the time. I never met the man before today. You have been having morning meetings with him for four years"

"Four years! Four yeas he has been right here trying to get me to open my eyes and all this time he lied to me about who he was and I bought into it" Kate is obviously not pleased with herself over the man and her conversations with him

"Listen Kate. Think about it this way. He brought you here to me" Rick reaches over to her side and pulls her close "So I am not mad at him. Anyway, it's late. We need to get to bed. We will try to find out more about him tomorrow"

"OK, the coffee shop is closed anyway. OK we will go there tomorrow and try to see if he shows up and try to talk to him then" She responds

"Sounds good to me. I can wait" He says back to Kate as she leans into his side and places her head on his shoulder

"Me too" she says gently

"From that tough as nails exterior, homicide cop I met years ago to this…beautiful woman next to me...all soft inside. I have no complaints"

"What are you saying Castle? I'm like a tootsie pop? Hard on the outside gooey in the middle?"

"UH…That's…that's not how I meant it"

This is just one of the things about him that made her fall in love with him

* * *

><p>The next morning they both quickly dress and head out the door early so they can arrive at Jan's before Roger gets there. When the pair enter the doorway they see the staff busily at work filling customer's caffeine orders and making the day start with a jolt<p>

Kate steps up to the counter and gets the manager's attention

"Hey Val"

"Hey Kate. OH you brought him in again" she says referring to Rick's presence behind her near the door

"He IS my fiancé. I have to keep an eye on him. There's a lot of women around that I have to protect him from. Like you"

"Don't worry about me, Kate. But I have to say I am jealous though. So what can I get for you this morning? The usual?"

"No just wondering if Roger has been in today?"

Val looks over at the seating area and responds "No I have not seen him" she then turns to her staff "have any of you seen Roger Chandler this morning?"

Tony, the Barista leans back away from his prep duties. "I worked the evening shift last night. He came in and said he was moving and that he was going to miss all of us"

"UH Val he left? He Moved?" Kate states

"That's what he told me yesterday" the man repeats then walks over to the counter by the register where Kate is standing "He said to give you this" he reaches under the counter and pulls out a small envelope and a package and passes them over to Kate

"He said for me tell you it is an engagement present for Mr. Castle"

"Thanks" Kate responds as she takes the envelope and package as she walks back to Rick. She has a confused look on her face as they walk outside and into the early daylight.

"A present for Castle?" Beckett states and she looks at the envelope and sees it is addressed to her

She opens the envelope and reads the note inside

_"Kate._

_ Sorry for what appears to be lies. But it was all done for the good. It was done for your happiness. You and Mr. Castle are perfect for each other and I promise that you have a wonderful future in store for both of you._

_Always_

_RC_

"Castle! Who was this guy?" Kate looks at Rick

"And why did he spend so much time on you? On US?"

She tells Rick what Tony just told her then gives the package to her guy. He takes the package from Kate and removes the brown paper wrapping to expose the contents.

A first edition autographed copy of Casino Royale

There is a note attached "This is a thank you for NOT writing a certain British Secret Agent and staying with Nikki and Kate instead. She is so worth it"

"Rick? Does this book mean something to you?"

With a hitch in his voice and in a whisper, Castle responds. "Yes. I'll tell you but not now!"

Castle and Beckett walk back to her cruiser and head off to the loft

When Rick and Kate get back to his place Castle walks directly to the kitchen counter, picks up his house phone, and begins dialing a number

"Who are you calling?" Kate asks

"Someone…um…someone I hope can help solve this"

Castle listens as the phone produces three long, loud, piercing, and shrill tones.

"I'M SORRY BUT THE NUMBER YOU HAVE REACHED HAS BEEN DISCONNECTED OR IS NO LONGER IN SERVICE. PLEASE CHECK YOUR NUMBER AND DIAL AGAIN"

Rick is obviously not a very happy man

"Castle! Who are you calling" Kate repeats her question with more firmness

"I was calling…my…" He finally looks directly at Becket's eyes "I was calling my father"

"Your father? I thought you didn't know who your father was"

Kate stands up and walks away from Rick "Have you been lying to me all this time about not knowing your father?"

"I don't…I mean I didn't know who he was until he showed up in Paris to rescue Alexis"

"Alexis? I thought some one you knew from the Derrick Storm books rescued her?"

"Kate please sit down! Please?"

She walks back to the couch and places herself at the opposite end from him "OK Castle. What are you not telling me?"

"Kate. My father was, or rather IS CIA. The man I hired to find Alexis was in fact working for the kidnappers. They wanted my father and she was just the bait to flush him out"

"So why didn't you tell me?"

"Just like the situation with Sophia Turner, I was not allowed to tell you about him. In fact I can't tell mother that I finally met my dad"

"You think Roger is connected to your dad?"

"You remember I said he looked familiar?

"Yeah!"

"He reminded me of my father. Not exactly alike but similar"

"So what does the book have to do with anything?" Kate moves closer beside Castle

"When I was ten years old I met a man at a bookstore who gave me a copy of that book. It is what made me want to write. He gave me a kick start on my future career. But over the next several years with mother and me, we had good years and lean years. We had to move more than once when there was no money to pay the rent Somehow along the line I lost the book. It was a treasured possession and I never did find that special copy again"

"I'm sorry Castle" Kate leans into Rick and gives him a quick kiss "Now you have a really special copy" she touches the book then moves her hand to his

"I wonder how he knew this was special to me." Rick asks to no one in particular "How did he even get a copy of this?" he holds it up to look at the autograph

"Castle! Do you think it was stolen?"

"Kate. There can't be that many copies of this book changing hands. It is very valuable"

"What do you suggest?" Becket asks

"If this was sold thru legal channels, there will be a record. We could get the guys to look into auctions and see when copies were sold and to whom"

"Rick we can't get the guys to use police resources to track down a book for you"

"Beckett maybe someone was murdered and the book stolen"

"Reaching way out for that one, Castle?"

Rick stands up and begins to walk toward his study with Kate close behind

"Kate. I just want to make sure he was not a bad guy. That's all"

"Still. We can't ask the boys to do that. The guys have enough work with me out right now. We don't want to put any more on them"

"OK?" She punches the word

"But is there any other investigator with resources who just might be able to help with this?" Castle asks

"Who do you have in mind?"

"We could call Jordan Shaw"

Beckett feels a burn rise in her throat "Castle you want to call Jordan Shaw? The FBI profiler?"

"Yeah. Why not?"

She stutters in her next comment "She…UH…tracks down serial killers. This guy is not a serial killer"

"At least we don't think he is one but we can still use her skills to profile and figure out who he is. But anyway, Jordan has resources. Smart boards, computer data mining programs…a mind that can track a mind"

Kate remembers her feelings when they first met this woman "You always DID like her smart boards and …her mind? Didn't you?" There is definitely a tinge of jealousy in her voice

Castle reacts to her jab with a shocked look then she finishes softly with one word and a tense smile "NO"

"OK" Castle responds with a pout on his face"

"How about we use a civilian? We'll call Serena Kaye"

The very mention of that woman's name raises Kate Beckett's blood pressure

Castle continues "She has connections in the criminal world. If this guy is underworld she will be able to flush him out"

Kate looks across Castle's desk, fixes her eyes on him and gives him 'The Look'

Beckett then takes a deep breath "Alright Rick. Tomorrow we will get Ryan to check traffic cams and see if we can locate him on any of them. Then maybe we can see where he goes. Where he lives"

Castle steps up to Kate and pulls her in to his chest "After we figure out who this guy is, we can go back to where we were Friday, before all this stuff blew up"

* * *

><p>In a small apartment in a nondescript building only two blocks from Jan's Java Joynt a man is packing his final bag. It is a rather large bag. It contains the most important items for him personally.<p>

The rest of the items in the apartment had already been moved by the cleaning team prior to today. As he look around one last time his PDA vibrates in his pocket.

He enters a rather long unlock code to display the message.

_"Good work. See you at debrief at HQ then home"_

He smiles at this entry. It is the message he has longed to see for years. It is telling him that this was his last job and he will be able to retire

In Peace


	30. Chapter 30

Rick and Kate are already at Beckett's desk in the 12trh when Ryan and Esposito arrive for the morning

"Hey guys Kate states while not even looking up from her desk. She is slightly embarrassed about the new situation between her and Castle. Embarrassed is not the right word. Uncomfortable with the thoughts that must be flying around inside everyone's mind all over the precinct after Castle and she finally gave in to what was between them for so long

Esposito starts up the rant "I thought you had still had a couple of days off. I mean time for you two to…you know…"

"Shut up" Kate snipes at her partner stopping him for going down a very personal and unnecessary road

"OK but why are you two here?" Ryan asks of the pair

"It has to do with how we got to this place" Rick answers while pointing between him and Kate

"Over the last several years I have been having coffee at Jan's Java Joynt down on the corner most mornings"

Esposito acknowledges her statement "I've been there a few times. The manager, Val is interested in me" he smiles at his own comment

"I hate to burst your bubble Javi but she has a regular boyfriend. They've been together for three years" Kate tells him

Esposito obviously had hurt written all over his face

"Anyway I met this older man just before Castle came into the picture and started pestering me"

Kate pauses and smiles at her new guy before she continues her tale "He was an interesting conversationalist. We first talked about the weather, politics to a limited degree, and then somehow he got me to open up about my past, my work, and then, after he came along, Castle" Kate smiles again at her special guy

"He got me to thinking about my life, my job" she stops again and she stares at Castle "My private life"

"So what are you saying Beckett? This man knew Castle. He could see into the future? What" Ryan asks

"It WAS almost like he did know Rick personally. He just seemed to know what I needed to do when it came to Castle and he pushed me just enough for me to make progress"

Castle then continues passing the information "After Kate and I finally started…um…dating I met him and that's when things got really weird. He knew too much about things he should not have known. He actually knew the name of that CIA agent I worked with many years ago"

Under her breath Kate comments "Informant? Yeah! Right! More like your Girlfriend"

Castle gives Kate a look before continuing his information "But he vanished after leaving Kate a cryptic note and a gift for me that is very rare and has a very personal meaning" 

Kate picks up her bag and starts digging "I bagged the note he left in hopes we can get fingerprints from the paper"

When she pulls the sealed evidence bag from her purse she looks at the envelope, that at one time, contained the note. She is shocked that the paper from the note has crumbled into dust inside the evidence bag

"What the…" She states as she holds the bag up for inspection "The note is gone. It was in the bag and now it's…dissolved. Gone!"

"How did that happen?" Castle asks while looking at the bag himself

"Dissolving paper" Esposito states very factually

"What?" Beckett asks

"Its secret covert tools" Esposito replies as he takes the evidence bag from Beckett "It is used to send messages. The information is written on the paper. When it is slipped into the envelope there is a chemical reaction between the page and the envelope. As long as two are in contact everything is fine. But when the note is taken out of the envelope the chemical reaction begins. It will disintegrate in about five minutes"

"Espo, I am not even going to ask how you know this" Castle comments

"That's good. Because if I told you then I would have to kill you" Then Esposito leans over to get close to Castle's ear "And I could do it with a paper clip and a chewing gum wrapper"

Castle can only sit in his chair and stare at the Hispanic detective as his mind drives him along several very dangerous roads. None of which does he want to travel down. Especially with Esposito

"OK guys can we leave Maxwell Smart out of this and get back to this man" Kate states "I want to start looking at traffic and security cams around the coffee shop and see if we can get a good picture of him and then follow and see where he went each day"

"Maybe we can find out where he lives" Ryan completes the thought for the others "I'm on it" as he rushes out to the secondary conference/tech room to get started

Esposito starts to his desk "I am going to contact my guy at the Pentagon and see if there is anything else he can tell me. Maybe he know of any operations open that would include this guy"

"Thanks guys" Beckett tells her partners

"Kate" Castle says softly

"Yeah?" she looks over to Rick sitting in the chair that he has occupied for the last four years. His chair

"You want something to eat? Something from the store? Coffee? Bagel, muffin?"

She puts her head down on her palm and looks at Rick "As far as what I WANT I have it right here. But I do need a bite of something to tide me over until lunch. How about just a Cinnamon Bagel from the little deli down the block"

"For you…anything your heart desires" He stands up to head for the elevator

As she watches him enter the elevator his last word 'Desire! Nice choice of words"

Kate is looking over several photo captures that Ryan had brought her from his review of cameras in the area when Castle re enters the floor. He is carrying a box of donuts. Another box with pigs in a blanket and finally a cinnamon bagel with walnut honey cream cheese just for her. He sets the boxes on Esposito's desk and the bagel in front of Kate

"Get anywhere?" he asks Beckett

She doesn't even look up from the stack of pictures in front of her "No a lot of people. Some similar in appearance but not him"

Castle stands behind Kate and looks over her shoulder

"Castle! You know you would be more help if you weren't standing over me so you can look down the front of my blouse"

Castle suddenly straightens up "UH…I…I wasn't doing that"

She looks over at him "Really? You expect me to believe that?"

He leans in close to her ear "I don't need to sneak peeks anymore" Castle is grinning like a Cheshire cat

"ANYMORE?" She snips at him

She can see him swallow hard

"So you admit that you have been peeking long before this week?"

"I admit to nothing. UH, what have you found? Anything yet?'

"No. Not yet. I looked at all these already" she points to a stack on one side of her desk "He is not in any of them. And these I am just starting on" She points to another pile in front of her

Rick reaches and takes the pile she had already looked over and begins to look through himself.

Kate, in the mean time, opened the sack and took out her bagel and cream cheese. She opens the container and spreads the contents on the warm oval. The cheese slightly melted on contact with the warm bread

Just as she takes her first bite Castle jumped "Kate! Look here!" He is obviously excited about something

"What is it Rick?" She mumbles through a mouth full of bagel

He sticks a photograph in front of Beckett and points "Here, this man!"

"What about him?" She responds

Castle lowers his voice and looks around the floor "This man. He is my father"

"WHAT?"

"When was this taken and where?" Castle asks

Kate looks at the metadata tag on the edge of the print "It is dated two days before the kidnapping and it says the location was at 24th Street and Lex. He would be walking toward 23th in this picture

"We have a place to start now" Castle comments

"Let's go" Kate gets up and is half way to the elevator before she calls back to her partners. "Keep printing caps and we will start canvasing" And her and Castle enter the elevator and the doors close.

Once the car starts its descent Beckett moves directly in front of Castle and holds up the picture in his face "This is your father?"

"Looks like him. He was a little scruffy in Paris. I mean here "pointing at the photo "he looks like a business man on his way to the office. In Paris he looked like an assassin on his way to a job"

"Rick. Why was he here and this close to you and me?"


End file.
